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SOMALI PIRATES! France Penetrates Chad!

2009-01-12 · John · watch on YouTube · World affairs · news analysis

John explains the recurring war in Chad and Somalia's collapse into three regions with Puntland piracy, argues that combatants and colonialism share the blame and that African wars go uncovered because they lack simple stories, and asks viewers who is at fault.

What is said

00:00:00 — Intro: news from two African nations vs celebrity coverage; Part one, Chad: traffic lights, corrupt dictator vs rebels

  • ★★ John sarcastically says these African events are front-page news only in an alternate universe where people care more about others' well-being than about American actresses' narcissism. (playful) — 00:00:02
  • ★★ Chad is a landlocked Central African nation with two traffic lights in the whole country, neither of which works. (playful) — 00:00:02
  • ★★ In Chad a very corrupt dictator and government fight even more corrupt rebels; the fighting stops while roads are impassable and restarts every year. — 00:00:02

00:00:32 — Chad's yearly war; why African wars get little coverage; tribalism is not the explanation; combatants and colonialism responsible; the 'French penetrated Chad' Wikipedia gag

  • ★★★ Chad's war, like most current African wars, has no clear good and bad side, which is part of why such wars get little news coverage: they are hard to tell as a story. — 00:00:32
  • ★★★ The wars can't be explained as age-old tribalism: there is tribalism in Chad, but also in America, as any Alabama-Auburn football game shows. — 00:00:32 · United States
  • ★★★ Those fighting the wars are responsible and must stop now, but John says we must also acknowledge that colonialism screwed the world up a great deal. — 00:01:01
  • ★★ John reads from Wikipedia's Chad page that the French first 'penetrated' Chad in 1891, then plays the wording for laughs. (playful) — 00:01:01 · Wikipedia, France

00:01:30 — Part two, pirates: Somalia's history, three regions, the Transitional Federal Government, Somaliland, Puntland piracy and ransom

  • ★★ Somalia, on the east coast of Africa, became independent in 1960 and had a military coup in 1969 that brought General Barre to power. — 00:01:30
  • ★★ Barre was ousted in a 1991 coup in favour of no one; since 1991, lacking a government, Somalia has split into three semi-autonomous regions. — 00:01:59
  • ★★ The south has total anarchy and a 20-year civil war; lately Islamist militants seeking Taliban-style Islamic law have fought everyone else. — 00:01:59
  • ★★ The US and Somalia's neighbours back the anti-Islamist side, putting their weight behind the Transitional Federal Government, which ostensibly runs the south. — 00:02:35 · United States
  • ★★ John mocks the Transitional Federal Government: nine years old so hardly transitional, influence over a third of the country so hardly federal, unable to govern so hardly a government. (playful) — 00:02:35
  • ★★ In the far northwest, bordering Djibouti, Somaliland is effectively a functioning democracy with its own currency and economy. — 00:02:35
  • ★★★ Puntland on the northeast coast has become the world capital of piracy; its pirates are estimated to have made over $150 million in ransom last year, where the average person earns $1.50 a day. — 00:03:04

00:03:25 — Piracy marginal in the larger tragedy; who is at fault? question to viewers; congratulations on Hank's album; sign-off

  • ★★★ In the context of the larger Somali tragedy, John argues piracy, while serious, is a little marginal. — 00:03:25
  • ★★★ John asks who is at fault for the piracy and the wars in Chad: the combatants, France, Italy and Britain for disastrous colonization, or us for not paying attention; he really wants answers. — 00:03:25 · France, United Kingdom
  • ★★ Tens of thousands of real people are really dying in these wars, which get little attention. — 00:03:25
  • ★★ John congratulates Hank on the hugely successful release of his first album, urges viewers to buy it, and looks forward to the first Song Wednesday. — 00:03:25 · So Jokes, Song Wednesday

Humor (significant)

  • Quoting Wikipedia's 'The French first penetrated Chad in 1891', John interviews Chad about whether the French penetrated it again. — 00:01:30 > «Oh my yes, they penetrated me repeatedly.»
  • Lacking pictures of actual pirates, John illustrates part two with his dog. — 00:01:30 > «Part two, pirates, here played by Willy because I don't have any pictures of actual pirates.»
  • John picks apart the Transitional Federal Government: nine years old, controls a third of the country. — 00:02:35 > «it has a funny way of being a government.»
  • John mentions Djibouti only to say its name, then compares pirate ransom with average Somali income. — 00:03:04 > «$150 million is a lot of Djibouti.»

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