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BLOOD! I'm a KILLER!

2008-05-01 · Hank · watch on YouTube · Internet & YouTube · reflection essay

Hank jokes that Vlogbrothers viewing time adds up to one human lifetime, then argues that time spent participating and creating together, unlike passive media consumption such as the Super Bowl, is not wasted.

What is said

00:00:00 — 'I killed a man with YouTube': 11 million views x 3.7 minutes = 77.4 years, one human lifespan

  • ★★★ Hank says Vlogbrothers videos have been viewed 11 million times at 3.7 minutes each, 40.7 million minutes or 77.4 years: one human lifetime. (playful) — 00:00:00 · Vlogbrothers, YouTube
  • ★★ Hank jokes that he and John have 'killed a man' with YouTube videos, each half-killing him. (joke) — 00:00:00 · John Green, YouTube

00:01:13 — Taken literally: a long death, probably mostly a girl; asks viewers to leave their gender in comments

  • ★★ Hank guesses the Vlogbrothers audience is mostly girls and wonders whether girls like the channel better than boys. (playful) (hedged) — 00:01:13 · Vlogbrothers
  • ★★★ Hank asks viewers to leave their gender in the comments for an informal demographic analysis. — 00:01:43 · Vlogbrothers

00:02:09 — Not wasting time: pooping and the Super Bowl kill far more hypothetical people; Wikipedia took as long as one Super Bowl; choose to participate and create together

  • ★★★ Hank says he doesn't feel bad: viewers watching the videos are not wasting time. — 00:02:09
  • ★★ Hank says pooping kills about 14,000 hypothetical people a year in America, and each Super Bowl eats up more than 150 lives. (playful) — 00:02:09 · United States
  • ★★★ Citing a video he just watched, Hank says Wikipedia took about as much time to make as it takes 100 million Americans to watch the Super Bowl. — 00:02:49 · Wikipedia
  • ★★★ Hank argues we can choose to spend our time communicating, participating and creating instead of passively consuming what media companies give us. — 00:02:49
  • ★★★ Hank says YouTube and the internet provide ways to participate, and hopes the Vlogbrothers are something viewers and the brothers do together, not a waste of time. (hedged) — 00:03:18 · YouTube, Vlogbrothers, Nerdfighteria

00:03:41 — Thanks Nerdfighters for their time; sign-off asking boy or girl

  • ★★ Hank thanks Nerdfighters for whatever small chunks of their lives they give, and says the brothers will give theirs in return. — 00:03:41 · Nerdfighteria

Humor (significant)

  • Hank divides total viewing time into years. — 00:00:48 > «77.4 years divided by the lifespan of one human is one. I have blood on my hands.»
  • Hank adjusts the killing count for historical lifespans. — 00:01:13 > «if I had been making YouTube videos during the 15th century, I would have killed two people already»
  • Hank wants the viewer gender tally. — 00:01:43 > «I wanna know what kind of person I killed. Blood on my hands!»
  • Pooping kills 14,000 hypothetical Americans a year, so Hank proposes a fix: watch Vlogbrothers while you poop. — 00:02:49 > «poop. Multitasking!»

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