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Customer Service A$$H()|3s!!!!

2009-10-14 · Hank · watch on YouTube · Everyday life · comedy performance

Hank coins 'asshole propagation programs' (APPs): policies, like a customer-service fee charged after his card fraud, that punish kindness and reward jerks; he reenacts the call that only paid off once he yelled.

What is said

00:00:00 — Bad morning: fed up with customer service, Hank coins and defines the 'asshole propagation program' (APP)

  • ★★ Hank says it is a bad morning because he is tired of getting pushed around by customer service. (playful) — 00:00:00
  • ★★★ Hank coins 'asshole propagation program' (APP): any societal program that ignores kindness, openness and coolness and rewards general douchebaggery; customer service is engaging in it. (playful) — 00:00:08 > «any societal program that ignores kindness and openness and coolness and rewards general douchebaggery»

00:00:34 — Reenacted call: after his card was defrauded, a company charges a $30 fee; the agent says it's legal and policy

  • ★★ Hank reenacts a call: after his credit card was defrauded and cancelled, a company charged him an extra $30 because his automatic payment failed, and its agent called the fee legal policy. (playful) — 00:00:34
  • ★★ Hank says none of the other half dozen companies with that card on automatic payment charged him anything. (playful) — 00:01:08

00:01:47 — Hank gives in to the APP, yells and curses; after a hold, the $30 is credited back

  • ★★ Hank admits, ashamed, that he gave in to the APP: he yelled and cursed, saying the company was making him act like a jerk so the agent could go to the manager. (playful) — 00:01:47
  • ★★ After a hold, the company credited the $30 back to Hank's account. (playful) — 00:02:35

00:02:48 — Message to all APPs: cheaper now, more assholes in the long run; every program that punishes kindness must stop; 'End the APPs!'

  • ★★★ Hank tells all APPs that their policies might decrease costs for now, but in the long run they only create more assholes. (playful) — 00:02:48
  • ★★ Hank says it is not just customer service but every societal program that punishes kindness and rewards douchebaggery, and it needs to stop. (playful) — 00:02:57
  • ★ Hank urges his audience not to give in and to end the APPs ('Viva la revolution!'). (playful) — 00:03:11

Humor (dominant)

  • Tired of customer service, Hank says it engages in a practice he will henceforth call an... — 00:00:08 > «Asshole Propagation Program.»
  • Yelling and cursing, Hank tells the agent to go ask the manager for his money back because he's actually a nice guy. — 00:02:16 > «I hate that you made me yell at you! Go talk to your manager!»
  • Mid-meltdown, after demanding the agent go talk to his manager, Hank is asked 'Sir, will you please hold?' and still yells: — 00:02:28 > «Yes! I will hold!»
  • Hank shows the phone headset he wore for the reenacted call. — 00:03:22 > «It's just a flash drive with duct tape on it. And that part's been in my ear.»

Threads in this video

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