Skip to content

Open Letters

2009-05-27 · Hank · watch on YouTube · Personal life · comedy performance

From a hotel in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, Hank reads comic open letters after his Boston-area trip: to his knees, downtown Boston, helpful friends, Howie Mandel, Cambridge, J. K. Rowling, the Leaky Cauldron staff, North Korea and lilacs.

What is said

00:00:00 — Hotel in Portsmouth, NH; New Hamster pun; the open-letter format

  • ★ Hank is in a hotel in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. — 00:00:00
  • ★★ Hank does the video as a series of open letters, which he defines as letters to someone or something that everyone gets to see. — 00:00:00

00:00:21 — Letters to his knees and to downtown Boston

  • ★ Hank thanks his knees (per description; ASR 'niece') for not giving up on him, though he bangs them while dancing and they are 'disgustingly purple'. (playful) — 00:00:21
  • ★★ Hank calls downtown Boston the most confusing place he has ever been, says his GPS gave up, and suggests rebuilding it or outlawing cars. (playful) — 00:00:21 · Boston

00:00:50 — Thanks to friends who waited while he looked for his parking garage; letter to Howie Mandel about Deal or No Deal

  • ★★ Hank thanks friends who waited on a street corner while he searched downtown Boston for his parking garage 30 minutes before his show, then got all seven into the car to a show in Cambridge. — 00:00:50 · Boston
  • ★★ Hank tells Howie Mandel that whatever his financial problems, Deal or No Deal is not okay; he should have slapped its pitchers with a rubber band and walked out. (playful) — 00:00:50

00:01:20 — Thanks to people who wanted to puke but didn't; Cambridge and the untouched MacBook Pro

  • ★★ Hank thanks everyone who wanted to puke but didn't, especially those in his car, calling it an ordinary everyday act of heroism that makes the world better. (playful) — 00:01:20
  • ★★ Hank says Cambridge is now his favourite city: he left his MacBook Pro on the passenger seat with the window down for two and a half hours and nobody took it. — 00:01:20

00:02:01 — Letters to J. K. Rowling about Harry Potter fans and to the staff of the Leaky Cauldron

  • ★★★ Hank tells J. K. Rowling her work is the best, but not even she deserves a fan community as awesome as Harry Potter nerds, and she should know how lucky she is. (playful) — 00:02:01 · Harry Potter
  • ★★ Hank thanks the staff of the Leaky Cauldron, who party like it is the end of the world, for letting him be part of it. — 00:02:01

00:02:22 — Letters to North Korea and to lilacs; sign-off

  • ★★ Hank tells North Korea that if it starts thinking about using its nuclear weapons, the world will combine to turn the country into glass, so it should give up now. (playful) — 00:02:22
  • ★ Hank tells lilacs they are awesome but don't yet smell as good as iris. (playful) — 00:02:22

Humor (dominant)

  • Hank complains to downtown Boston that its streets defeated his GPS. — 00:00:21 > «The GPS machine, I think, actually killed itself. It gave up on life because of you.»
  • Hank tells Howie Mandel how he should have answered the people who pitched Deal or No Deal. — 00:00:50 > «you should have taken a rubber band and slapped it on each of their faces and then walked out of the room.»
  • Hank thanks everyone who ever wanted to puke but didn't, especially the people in his car. — 00:01:20 > «Not puking despite wanting to puke is one of those ordinary everyday acts of heroism that often go unnoticed.»

Threads in this video

  • retro · LeakyCon 2009 edition — Hank thanks the staff of the Leaky Cauldron, who party like it's the end of the world, for letting him be part of it. (00:02:01)

BR2_685c77d9ca