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September 27th: Bionic Woman v. Helen Hunt on PCP

2007-09-28 · Hank · watch on YouTube · Pop culture · comedy performance

Hank, getting sick and facing a deadline, performs the punishment set by the person he owes work to: a mock thesis on whether he would rather fight Helen Hunt on PCP or the new Bionic Woman, concluding he would rather comfort Helen Hunt.

What is said

00:00:00 — Hank is getting sick; it hurts to speak, so he tries charades

  • ★★ Hank thinks he is getting sick: raw throat, sinus headache, drippy nose, and it hurts to speak. (hedged) — 00:00:10
  • ★ Because the videos must be text-less, speaking only, Hank suggests telling his news by charades instead. (playful) (hedged) — 00:00:10 · No textual communication

00:00:46 — Hank's deadline and the punishment: a thesis on whom he would rather fight; watching Bionic Woman online

  • ★★★ Hank has a deadline and is freaking out; the person he owes the work to set a punishment for missing it, which Hank performs just in case, though he has not missed it yet. (playful) (hedged) — 00:00:46
  • ★★★ The punishment is a thesis on whom Hank would rather fight: Helen Hunt in an after-school special on PCP, or the new Bionic Woman before she adjusts to her implants. (playful) — 00:00:46 · Helen Hunt
  • ★★ Hank watched the NBC show online, which he says added to his lateness, and his cold makes writing and being witty hard. — 00:00:46

00:01:30 — The thesis: strength, nausea, and the conclusion that he would rather comfort Helen Hunt; rhyming tribute to Helen Hunt

  • ★★ Hank argues PCP can unleash unusual strength, but the Bionic Woman's enhancement, which makes no biological sense to him, leaves her much stronger than Helen Hunt on PCP. (playful) (hedged) — 00:01:30 · Helen Hunt
  • ★★ Hank says both opponents would likely vomit on him, since bionic implants and PCP both cause nausea, so he must decide on other grounds. (playful) (hedged) — 00:01:30
  • ★★★ Hank concludes the best outcome of either fight is consoling the confused woman afterwards, and based on the show he would rather comfort Helen Hunt. (playful) (hedged) — 00:02:26 · Helen Hunt

00:02:48 — Short video to get back to writing; hopes to be well before Wednesday's singing; sign-off

  • ★★ The video is short because Hank must get back to writing; he hopes to feel better before Wednesday, when he would hate to have to sing with this voice. (hedged) — 00:02:48

Humor (significant)

  • Speaking hurts, but the channel is speaking only, so Hank proposes charades. — 00:00:10 > «I could tell you what's going on, but with my hands.»
  • Hank weighs one hazard he thinks equal for both opponents. — 00:01:30 > «and that is the danger of being hurled upon»
  • Hank contrasts Helen Hunt thrashing in the schoolyard dirt with the Bionic Woman. — 00:02:00 > «being flipped onto my head by a nauseated, confused, young orphan»
  • Having chosen to comfort Helen Hunt, Hank declares his love in rhymes on her name. — 00:02:26 > «She faces the brunt of the twister of my burning want. Helen Hunt. Eh, mad about her.»

Threads in this video

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