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Advice on First Kisses, Stalkers, College Majors, and More

2010-05-14 · John · watch on YouTube · Everyday life · advice recommendation

John answers a rapid series of Nerdfighter advice questions: nothing is wrong with not having been kissed, stalkers are owed only firm boundaries, majors are overrated, coming out is the asker's choice, and everyone should read David Foster Wallace's 'This Is Water'.

What is said

00:00:00 — Greeting: John suits up to give real advice to real Nerdfighters

  • ★★ In the description John qualifies his stalking advice: some experts argue restraining orders are ineffective or even counterproductive, but experts agree on an unambiguous no, then no further contact. — 00:00:00

00:00:08 — First kisses: nothing is wrong with Nerdfighters who haven't been kissed; pressure of romantic love on 12-year-olds

  • ★★★ John says hundreds of Nerdfighters aged about 12 to 23 asked whether something is wrong with them for not having had a first kiss; he says nothing is wrong with them. — 00:00:20 · Nerdfighteria
  • ★★ John tells them they will eventually kiss someone who wants to kiss them, and it will be disappointing and probably too tonguey. (playful) (hedged) — 00:00:32
  • ★★ John criticises the pressure that makes young people feel, before they even turn 12, that life is incomplete without romantic love. — 00:00:40

00:00:46 — Quick answers: the pet rat, smelling what you touch, stalkers, a friend's fake online boy persona (Will Grayson, Will Grayson)

  • ★ Asked whether smelling everything one touches is weird, John answers that it is not weird but synesthesia. (playful) — 00:00:51
  • ★★★ John says the word 'stalker' is overused, but about real stalkers: fixation is not love, and one owes a stalker only firm boundaries and, if those are broken, a restraining order. — 00:00:58
  • ★★ To a viewer hurt by a friend's fake online boy persona, John half-jokingly recommends his new book Will Grayson, Will Grayson, written with David Levithan. (playful) — 00:01:19 · Will Grayson, Will Grayson, David Levithan

00:01:29 — About to graduate from college: read David Foster Wallace's This Is Water

  • ★★★ To a viewer about to graduate from college, John recommends David Foster Wallace's 'brilliant' commencement speech This Is Water, linked in the description. — 00:01:31

00:01:41 — Meeting nerd girls: book events; John's Indianapolis event with E. Lockhart; David Levithan's Australia and New Zealand tour

  • ★★ To a viewer wanting to meet nerd girls, John suggests phrasing it less creepily and recommends book events. (playful) — 00:01:43
  • ★★ John announces an event with E. Lockhart near Indianapolis the next day, Saturday at 2 p.m., with a link in the description. — 00:01:49 · Indianapolis
  • ★★ John says his co-author David Levithan is on tour in Australia and New Zealand right now. — 00:01:53 · David Levithan, Australia

00:02:00 — Choosing a college major: John's Kenyon double major, majors are overrated

  • ★★ John tells a high-school freshman that not knowing what to do with one's life is normal at that age, but a college junior without a major concerns him. — 00:02:05
  • ★★ John recalls that as a junior at Kenyon College he asked to have his major chosen for him and double-majored in English and Religious Studies, his most-taken departments. (playful) — 00:02:18
  • ★★ John says he thinks majors are overrated: Hank majored in biochemistry yet is now, judging from his Wednesday video, a rapper, while John talks to sock puppets in a pizza suit. (playful) (hedged) — 00:02:38 · Hank Green

00:02:54 — Coming out as gay to religious, conservative parents

  • ★★★ To a gay teen with very religious, conservative parents, John says when and how to come out is his choice, but ultimately all he can do is be honest. — 00:03:00
  • ★★★ John says being gay is not a political or religious issue to him, and that many deeply religious Christians believe being who God made you cannot separate you from God's love. — 00:03:05

00:03:19 — Dog eating mom's romance novels: ambiguous pronouns; summary of the day's advice

  • ★ John sums up his advice: pay attention to your pronouns, don't worry so much about kissing, and read David Foster Wallace. (playful) — 00:03:32

00:03:39 — a private person is sick: sign her guestbook; thanks to Hank for Wil Wheaton's hello and the rapping; sign-off

  • ★★★ John says a private person, one of their favourite Nerdfighters, is sick, and asks Nerdfighters to sign her guestbook en masse to say they are thinking of her and think she is awesome. — 00:03:39 · Nerdfighteria
  • ★ John thanks Hank for getting Wil Wheaton to say hello to him and for his rapping. — 00:03:52 · Hank Green

Humor (significant)

  • Reassuring Nerdfighters who haven't been kissed, John promises they will eventually kiss someone. — 00:00:36 > «and you'll kiss them and it will be disappointing, and in all probability too tonguey,»
  • A viewer asks how to get her mom's pet rat to like her. — 00:00:49 > «I don't agree with the premise of your question.»
  • Arguing majors are overrated, John notes Hank majored in biochemistry and is now a rapper. — 00:02:49 > «and me, a person who talks to blind sock puppets in his basement. While wearing a pizza suit.»
  • A viewer asks how to stop her dog eating all her mom's romance novels. — 00:03:29 > «I can't tell because of your pronoun's ambiguous antecedent.»

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