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Million Dollar Ideas

2013-08-06 · John · watch on YouTube · Projects · comedy performance

Exhausted after VidCon and a newborn, John contrasts Hank's weekly 'million dollar ideas' (P4A, VidCon, DFTBA Records, 2D glasses) with his own: a crying phone-baby app, and thanks Hank for VidCon.

What is said

00:00:00 — Few VidCon clips (including distant footage of Jack and Finn); thanks to staff, volunteers and Hank

  • ★ John says VidCon was so fun he mostly forgot to film anything, showing only a few clips, including 'creepy' distant footage of Jack and Finn. — 00:00:00 · VidCon
  • ★★ John says VidCon was awesome but not restful, and thanks the staff, the volunteers and Hank. — 00:00:00 · VidCon, Hank Green

00:00:33 — No sleep: a late board game, a child with strep throat and a nocturnal eight-week-old; first million dollar idea at 2:30 a.m.

  • ★ John got very little sleep at VidCon: three hours before leaving for the airport he was playing the Saved by the Bell board game with Hank and others. — 00:00:33
  • ★★ John came home to one child with strep throat and an eight-week-old who is small, adorable and seemingly nocturnal, so he is very tired. — 00:00:33
  • ★★ Up with a child of the brothers at 2:30 a.m., John had his very first million dollar idea. — 00:00:33

00:01:02 — Hank's weekly 'million dollar idea' calls: P4A, VidCon, DFTBA Records, 2D glasses, 'Hank Games times two'

  • ★★★ John explains that for about six years Hank has phoned him roughly once a week opening with 'I have a million dollar idea'. (hedged) — 00:01:02 · Hank Green > «I have a million dollar idea.»
  • ★★ John: some of Hank's ideas were excellent (Project for Awesome, VidCon, DFTBA Records), some seemed terrible but turned out great (2D glasses), and most are actually terrible ('Hank Games times two'). (playful) — 00:01:02 · Project for Awesome, VidCon, DFTBA Records, HankGames
  • ★★ John notes that none of Hank's million dollar ideas has ever made him a million dollars; most are about charity. (playful) — 00:01:31

00:01:31 — John's million dollar idea: a crying phone-baby app that must be soothed around the clock

  • ★★★ John pitches his 'million dollar idea': a phone-baby app that cries, must be soothed (feeding, pacifier, shushing), can't be muted and wakes every few hours for 12 weeks, a parody of newborn care. (playful) — 00:01:31

00:02:30 — John concedes the idea is bad; the 2D glasses investment he refused; gratitude to Hank and for VidCon

  • ★ John admits his idea is not that good, even worse than Hank's. (playful) — 00:02:30
  • ★★ John recalls refusing Hank's request for $1,000 to start the 2D glasses company ('go suck it'). (playful) — 00:02:50 · Hank Green
  • ★★★ John says he will never be the brains of the operation but is very grateful to be part of it, and thanks Hank for the gift of VidCon. — 00:02:59 · Hank Green, VidCon

Humor (significant)

  • John describes his eight-week-old daughter's sleep habits — 00:00:33 > «apparently a relative of the Kinkajou because she is small, adorable, and seemingly nocturnal.»
  • Among Hank's 'actually terrible' million dollar ideas — 00:01:02 > «Hank Games times two. It's just Hank Games sped up so it's twice as fast.»
  • The phone baby keeps waking for months, just like a newborn — 00:02:30 > «you'll have to spend hours pushing buttons trying to figure out, what is it? How do I solve you?»
  • John refused to give Hank $1,000 to start the 2D glasses company — 00:02:59 > «And now, Hank, here you are two years later, lone king of a 2D glasses empire.»

Threads in this video

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