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Giant Tortoise Coitus

2010-11-30 · John · watch on YouTube · Science & nature · explainer learning

Opening a week on animal mating, John explains giant tortoise sex - late maturity, neck-length rivalry, head-bobbing courtship, shell mechanics, the mating noise and foot-biting - with jokes throughout, then plugs shirts and the P4A mailing list.

What is said

00:00:00 — Week on animal mating announced; the tortoise mating noise and a Men in Black gag

  • ★★★ John announces that this week the brothers will be learning about the mating habits of animals, beginning with tortoises. — 00:00:01
  • ★★ John says tortoises can live to be more than 200 years old. — 00:00:07

00:00:37 — How giant tortoises mate: maturity, size, neck rivalry, head-bobbing, shells, noise, foot-biting, eggs

  • ★★ John says tortoises often do not reach sexual maturity until about 20 years old. — 00:00:41
  • ★★ John says an average adult male tortoise weighs 200 pounds more than females. — 00:00:45
  • ★★ John says a male tortoise's attractiveness is decided mostly by neck length, and the longest-necked male generally gets the most desirable mating situations. (playful) — 00:01:04
  • ★★ John says the male tortoise courts by walking up to the female and bobbing his head like crazy. (playful) — 00:01:21
  • ★★ John says the male's underside shell, the plastron, is concave so the shells fit together, and the male balances like a three-legged stool on hind feet and tail. — 00:01:40
  • ★★ John says the mating noise is the only noise tortoises ever make, apart from occasional hissing. — 00:02:01
  • ★★ John says that when a female is unwilling, the male bites her feet until she retracts them into her shell, leaving her immobile so he can go around her and, as John puts it, 'you know'. — 00:02:15
  • ★★ John says that after insemination females lay eggs in a shallow nest and baby tortoises arrive eight months later. — 00:02:39

00:02:50 — Week plan (Hank's song Wednesday, squids Friday); shirts at DFTBA.com; P4A mailing list; crooked glasses

  • ★★ John says he can't wait for Hank's song on Wednesday and that on Friday they will learn about giant squids - not of anger, but of love. — 00:02:50 · Hank Green, giant squid of anger
  • ★★ John tells Nerdfighters the Giant Squid of Anger shirt by Vondell Swain and a DFTBA shirt are in stock at DFTBA.com and ship immediately. — 00:02:54 · DFTBA Records
  • ★★★ John asks viewers to sign up for the Project for Awesome mailing list at projectforawesome.com, one of the main ways to organize descending on videos about non-profits. — 00:03:13 · Project for Awesome
  • ★ John says his glasses are crooked because his 10-month-old son is a glasses monster. (playful) — 00:03:24

Humor (significant)

  • Horrified by a recording of tortoise mating, John phones Tommy Lee Jones. — 00:00:23 > «I'm gonna need that magic wand you used in the film Men in Black 'cause I need to un-remember something.»
  • John says tortoises have a lot in common with the male characters on Jersey Shore. — 00:00:51 > «They don't have jobs, they're huge without being technically overweight»
  • Eight months after the foot-biting courtship, the eggs hatch. — 00:02:39 > «Who will grow up alone in a terrifying world where this passes for love.»
  • John says learning all this has changed his relationship with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. — 00:03:31 > «seriously Donatello, I did not expect you to be a biter of lady feet.»

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