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What Would Captain Picard Do

2008-07-10 · Hank · watch on YouTube · Pop culture · comedy performance

Hank sings a comic Star Trek song arguing that when a choice is hard you should ask what Captain Picard would do: keep his crew safe, finish the mission, better himself and bring peace for free.

What is said

00:00:00 — Verse 1: given his first command, a nervous young officer (Wesley) fears failure and is told it is arrogant to expect no mistakes

  • ★★ In the first verse Wesley, given his first command, fears failure and is told it's arrogant to think you'll never make a mistake. (fiction) — 00:00:09

00:00:59 — Chorus: 'What would Captain Picard do?' — keep ship and crew safe, complete the mission, better himself, bring peace for free

  • ★★★ The chorus says Picard would ensure the safety of his ship and crew, complete the mission, make himself a better person and bring peace to the galaxy for free. (playful) — 00:00:59

00:01:41 — Verse 2: a man revived after three centuries thinks of money; the bald captain tells him currency is abolished and they invest in themselves; chorus

  • ★★ In the second verse a man revived after three centuries worries about money; the captain tells him currency was abolished and they invest in themselves. (fiction) — 00:02:07

00:03:03 — Verse 3: the crew follows the captain's hard calls (saucer separation at warp 9, not killing the Borg with Hugh, Dixon Hill over the Prime Directive, 'four lights')

  • ★★ The third verse praises the captain's moral calls: refusing to kill the Borg using Hugh and insisting to a Cardassian torturer that there were still four lights. (fiction) — 00:03:03
  • ★★★ In his song Hank says that when you're confused and the choice is too hard, you should think of what Captain Picard would do. (playful) — 00:03:54

Humor (dominant)

  • A nervous new commander frets about failing with the Borg on his tail and gets brushed off by name. — 00:00:09 > «Wesley. Give me a break.»
  • The chorus lists Picard's heroic duties and ends on the moneyless future. — 00:00:59 > «Bring peace to the galaxy and do it for free»
  • Having just praised following the captain, the singer prefers Picard's holodeck detective persona to Starfleet's rules. — 00:03:54 > «Then observed some outmoded and obscure prime directive»
  • The captain resisted forty days and nights of torture. — 00:03:54 > «He told that Cardassian that there were still four lights»
  • The final chorus escalates Picard into an action hero. — 00:04:17 > «He'd protect the whole world and he'd still get the girl.»

Threads in this video

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