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World's Stupidest Dog

2011-12-08 · Hank · watch on YouTube · Personal life · personal update

Lower-confidence wave

2011 videos did not pass the QA gate (17 %); their analysis is shown but less reliable.

Hank affectionately portrays his retired racing greyhound Lemon as a lovable 'derp' - her quirks, track past and racing pedigree records - and suggests viewers consider adopting a greyhound.

What is said

00:00:00 — False start (shirt inside out); Lemon is a derp: a list of derp puns

  • ★★ Hank introduces his dog Lemon as, put delicately, a 'derp', illustrated with a string of derp puns. (playful) — 00:00:07

00:00:27 — Lemon's quirks: cars, playground, dog toys, greyhound bodies and 'the Roach', sleeping, howling, Lemonous Patheticus, fear of the cat

  • ★★ Hank says Lemon loves getting into cars but hates being in them, loves the little children's section of the playground, and avoids any toy she has heard squeak. (playful) — 00:00:27
  • ★★ Hank says greyhounds' oddly shaped bodies make sitting hard and lying on their bellies uncomfortable, so they often lie on their backs; the family calls this 'the Roach'. — 00:00:40
  • ★ Lemon sleeps with eyes partly open and twitching, rarely barks, prefers to howl, has earned the nickname 'Lemonous Patheticus', and is afraid of the cat. — 00:00:51

00:01:13 — Running and her track top speed; nicknames; named Lemon because her track name was Tina Fey

  • ★★ Running, what she was bred for, is Lemon's second favourite thing; she is slower now, but on the track her top speed was about 34 mph, 0.3 miles in under 30 seconds. — 00:01:15
  • ★★ Among Lemon's nicknames is Liz Lemon, which is why she is called Lemon: her track name was Tina Fey. — 00:01:28

00:01:38 — Greyhound pedigree website and ear tattoo: birth date, litter named after the 2004 SNL cast, brother Will Ferrell, sire with 5,000+ offspring

  • ★★ Hank says that, unlike other dogs, a greyhound can be looked up on a website listing littermates, 39 generations of sires, relatives and every race result, plus the ear tag number tattooed in its ear. — 00:01:38
  • ★ From the tattoo on Lemon's ear, the five is her birth month and the four her birth year, so she was born in May 2004. — 00:02:01
  • ★★ The website showed Lemon's litter was named after the 2004 Saturday Night Live cast, her brother Will Ferrell won 20 of his 63 races, and her father sired over 5,000 racing dogs. — 00:02:09

00:02:31 — Lemon's fear of new things on arrival, love of cuddling; suggestion to adopt a greyhound; foot asleep

  • ★★ Lemon is wary of anything new; when they got her nearly everything was, from bicycles to rivers, but she took at once to cuddling, her third favourite thing after food and running. — 00:02:31
  • ★★ Hank suggests anyone interested in getting a dog check their local area for greyhound adoption agencies, as many greyhounds need homes. — 00:02:57

00:03:07 — Answer to viewers: Project for Awesome on December 17-18, website soon, start working on videos; sign-off

  • ★★ Answering viewers, Hank confirms the Project for Awesome is happening December 17th and 18th and says its website should be up very soon. (hedged) — 00:03:07 · Project for Awesome
  • ★★ Hank tells viewers to be thinking about and working on their videos for charitable causes before then; this dog video, he notes, is not one. — 00:03:12 · Project for Awesome

Humor (significant)

  • If Lemon were a sexually transmitted disease... — 00:00:16 > «she would be a herp-a-derpes simplex.»
  • If Lemon were a 19th-century lawman... — 00:00:20 > «she'd be Wyatt Derp.»
  • Lemon loves to get into cars... — 00:00:27 > «but hates to be inside of cars.»
  • Lemon's father sired over 5,000 racing dogs without being present at any of the conceptions. — 00:02:25 > «Virgin births, every one a virgin birth.»

Threads in this video

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