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The Five Worst Places to Vomit

2012-09-04 · John · watch on YouTube · Everyday life · comedy performance

Answering a Nerdfighter who called a urinal the worst place to puke, John lists five worse places (your lungs, a secret floor vent, space, a bathroom mirror and another person) mixing his own mishaps with history, and ends that children all vomit on parents who keep them anyway.

What is said

00:00:00 — Greeting; Fahrenheit 451 and the capital gains rationale postponed; a Nerdfighter's comment that a urinal is the worst place to puke; five worse places

  • ★★ John meant to make a video about Fahrenheit 451, then, after Hank's Friday video, about the controversial rationale for taxing capital gains below income; both must wait. — 00:00:01
  • ★★★ After his Steak 'n Shake video, a Nerdfighter called vomit in a urinal the worst place to puke ever; John submits there are at least five worse places. (playful) — 00:00:16 · Nerdfighteria

00:00:29 — 1: your own lungs (aspiration, Jimi Hendrix); 2: a secret hiding place: John's high-school party vomit in a floor vent

  • ★★ The worst place to vomit is your own lungs, because it can be fatal: aspiration of vomit killed Jimi Hendrix and many others. — 00:00:29
  • ★★ At a high-school party, not at full intellectual capacity, John secretly puked into a floor air-conditioning vent; the smell spread through the house, and the puker, he says, is held financially responsible. (playful) — 00:00:43
  • ★ Puke in ductwork circulates its smell through the whole home, is very hard to clean, and sometimes ducts must be replaced at a cost of hundreds of dollars. (playful) — 00:01:08

00:01:25 — 3: space: Gherman Titov's space sickness, Soviet pause, NASA spacesuit air currents

  • ★★ Vomiting in space is a big problem because the inner ear can't handle floatiness; after Gherman Titov, second person in space, first vomited there, the Soviets paused their programme for a year. — 00:01:27
  • ★★ Many astronauts have puked; vomiting in a spacesuit can be fatal through aspiration, so NASA added air currents around the suit's face to push vomit away. (hedged) — 00:01:41 · NASA

00:02:11 — 4: a bathroom mirror: cleaning puke off infinite reflections as a busboy; puke in the toilet

  • ★★ Busing tables, John once had to clean puke off a restaurant bathroom mirror: a side mirror made infinite reflections, and your own reflected face pockmarked with puke makes you puke. (playful) — 00:02:11

00:02:46 — 5: onto another person: Hank puked on their parents; a child of the brothers puked into John's mouth; you vomited on your parents and they kept you

  • ★★★ Aside from your lungs, the worst place to puke is onto another person; children always puke on their parents, so Hank should call their parents and thank them. (playful) — 00:02:46 · Hank Green
  • ★★ John's son a child of the brothers once puked into John's half-open mouth while John held him up. (playful) — 00:03:04
  • ★★★ John advises Nerdfighters furious with their parents to remember that they vomited on them and their parents kept them anyway. (playful) — 00:03:11 · Nerdfighteria

00:03:18 — Wrap-up: 'only profound videos now?'; sign-off

  • ★ To Nerdfighters wondering whether the brothers will only make profound videos now, John offers this video. (playful) — 00:03:20 · Nerdfighteria, Vlogbrothers

Humor (dominant)

  • After puking into a party host's floor vent, John asks who paid to replace the ducts. — 00:01:19 > «The puker. In my experience, the puker is held responsible.»
  • Spacesuit wearers must stay with their own puke, which makes them keep puking. — 00:02:04 > «it would be like half John half vomit.»
  • John holds baby a child of the brothers up and starts cooing at him. — 00:03:07 > «OH MY GOD! What just happened to me?!»
  • Advice for when you think your parents are terrible. — 00:03:13 > «you vomited on them and they kept you.»

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