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Nerd Olympics

2012-07-31 · John · watch on YouTube · Sports · comedy performance

John jokingly lays out his dream of becoming an Olympian by building a US men's team handball team, celebrates Nerdfighter gymnast Jennifer Pinches doing the Nerdfighter sign, and announces Esther Day with an event in Quincy and a This Star Won't Go Out t-shirt contest.

What is said

00:00:00 — Part one: John's dream of being an Olympian at 34; Hiroshi Hoketsu at 71 shows age is no bar

  • ★★ Watching the athletes enter at the opening ceremonies, John thought he should be an Olympian; he is 34 and, by his BMI, 1.6 pounds overweight. (playful) — 00:00:00
  • ★★ John says Japanese equestrian Hiroshi Hoketsu is 71 and competing in the Olympics, though he first qualified in 1964. — 00:00:00

00:00:29 — Nerds can be Olympians: Jennifer Pinches does the Nerdfighter sign; the IOC copyright joke

00:00:58 — The plan: a US men's team handball team good enough to qualify; congratulations to Pinches; the otter-or-muskrat binoculars aside

  • ★★ John says men's team handball is the only big Olympic sport at which the US does not field a team. — 00:00:58 · United States
  • ★★ John's plan: recruit passionate, washed-up basketball players, give them treadmill desks and build a US men's handball team just good enough to qualify; a movie would follow. (playful) — 00:00:58
  • ★ John admits he lacks teammates, motivation and knowledge of how to qualify, and that the plan will probably never happen. (playful) (hedged) — 00:01:34
  • ★★ John congratulates Jennifer Pinches on being awesome and living her dream and says he is very proud of her. — 00:01:34
  • ★ John has binoculars because a strange semi-aquatic mammal periodically appears outside his office; he is trying to tell whether it is an otter or a muskrat. (playful) — 00:01:34

00:02:03 — Part two: Esther Day on Friday, the family's event in Quincy, the This Star Won't Go Out t-shirt contest; sign-off

  • ★★★ John announces that Friday is Esther Day, honoring a private person, who inspired much of The Fault in Our Stars and Nerdfighteria, by telling people we love that we love them. — 00:02:03 · The Fault in Our Stars, Nerdfighteria
  • ★★ a private person's family is holding an Esther Day event in Quincy, Massachusetts; John urges viewers to go (link in the description). — 00:02:03
  • ★★ Viewers can enter a t-shirt design contest for This Star Won't Go Out, the organization a private person's family set up in her memory. — 00:02:03
  • ★★ John loves Esther Day and is grateful to a private person for the gift of making people say 'I love you' to each other. — 00:02:32

Humor (significant)

  • John can't show Jennifer Pinches's Nerdfighter sign because of IOC rules — 00:00:29 > «If you violate their copyright, they take your baby.»
  • John's washed-up basketball players on treadmill desks would qualify for the Olympics and inspire a film — 00:01:34 > «It'd be like Cool Runnings meets Dodgeball.»
  • John explains his binoculars: a strange semi-aquatic mammal keeps appearing outside his office — 00:02:03 > «I think it's possibly some kind of secret agent.»

Threads in this video

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