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On Sexual Orientation, with Hannah, Ze, Tyler, and Meg

2013-04-19 · Hank, Hannah, Ze, Tyler, Meg · watch on YouTube · Everyday life · conversation qa

Four guests (Hannah, Ze, Tyler and Meg, per the title) describe how they came to understand their sexual orientation, what it does and does not define, and the stigma they met, and tell struggling viewers it is getting better and they are not alone; Hank's description frames the video with his own childhood fear of being gay.

What is said

00:00:00 — Opening with no speech in either transcript (intro/title)

  • ★★★ Hank writes that growing up, the cultural stigma around homosexuality (not at home) was so severe that he feared he was gay over tiny signs like enjoying Village People music. — 00:00:00
  • ★★ Hank writes that the confusion terrified him because it was not talked about culturally, though his parents were super-supportive; because it was hard for him, he assumes it is hard for many others. (hedged) — 00:00:00

00:00:16 — How the guests realised their orientation: a long process, the internet and a Disney movie, practice kissing, crushes at 11 and 12, meeting one girl, boyfriends without love

  • ★★ A guest says coming to understand one's orientation is a long process involving one's whole life, not a one-day realisation. — 00:00:16
  • ★★ A guest says they knew they were "for sure gay" from things they found on the internet; actually, a Disney movie. — 00:00:22
  • ★★ A guest recalls practising kissing with girl friends, who said it was practice for the boys, and being super into it. — 00:00:31
  • ★★ A guest says it was clear their sexual energy had one main driver: women. — 00:00:42
  • ★ A voice says women's bodies are great but there is no drive within them to explore them sexually. — 00:00:49
  • ★★ A guest says their coming-out story is simply meeting one girl. — 00:00:57
  • ★★ A guest remembers, at eleven and twelve, liking boys like their friends but also having crushes on girls. — 00:01:02
  • ★★ A guest has had boyfriends but never fallen in love with men; with girlfriends they are "like a puppy". — 00:01:11
  • ★★ A guest says that through high school they said they would never seriously date or marry a woman, but with age they have deeper connections with women. (hedged) — 00:01:21

00:01:41 — What being gay is about: love versus sex; orientation separate from personal identity; Lisa Frank stickers and an uncle who saw a threat

  • ★★★ A guest says being gay is about being in love, not about sex. — 00:01:41
  • ★★ A voice is not sure they agree, but could see themselves falling in love with a man more easily than having sex with one. (hedged) — 00:01:45
  • ★★ A guest says they have never felt an intense emotional love for a girl, nor longed for it, nor met a girl they could have it with. — 00:02:02
  • ★★★ A guest says being gay and their personal identity are totally different things: heels or combat boots, jazz, loving the internet have nothing to do with being gay. — 00:02:11 > «being gay and my personal identity are totally different things.»
  • ★★ A guest loved collecting Lisa Frank stickers and rainbows; an uncle saw this as a threat, but it never interfered with their inner reckoning about their sexuality. (hedged) — 00:02:25

00:02:49 — Not wanting to be gay; people saying bisexuality is not real

  • ★★ A guest definitely did not want to be gay, and part of them still does not, because it makes life a bit harder. — 00:02:49
  • ★★★ A guest says their hardest obstacle is people saying bisexuality is not real, that you must choose or are doing it for attention; it is not true, you can like both. (hedged) — 00:02:53

00:03:03 — Advice to viewers struggling with their sexuality: be comfortable with it, it is getting better, the Trevor Project, stories on YouTube, you are not alone

  • ★★★ A guest advises those struggling with their sexuality to be comfortable being the only person comfortable with it; others' acceptance will come. (hedged) — 00:03:03
  • ★★★ A guest says it is getting better, many people will be there for you, and there are resources such as the Trevor Project and people on YouTube telling their stories; you are not alone. — 00:03:13 · YouTube

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