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The Gray Speckled Walls Encroach: The Perks and Liabilities of Frequent Flying

2013-03-06 · John · watch on YouTube · Personal life · reflection essay

Filming in an airport, John weighs the perks of having flown 400,000 miles against the time it takes from family, and announces he will stop flying until VidCon because, he thinks, a big part of being a parent is being around.

What is said

00:00:00 — In an airport ('gray speckled walls'); 400,000 miles flown since Brotherhood 2.0; banter with the security announcements; frequent-flyer perks (TSA pre-clearance, boarding first, lounge)

  • ★★ In the description John says he made the video before vlogbrothers hit 1,000,000 subscribers, thanks viewers for the community, and says he feels lucky to be a nerdfighter. — 00:00:00 · Vlogbrothers, Nerdfighteria
  • ★★ To celebrate a million subscribers, John asks viewers to get the Nerdfighter Kiva group to $2,000,000 in loans. — 00:00:00 · Kiva, Bank of Nerdfighteria
  • ★★ John says that since Brotherhood 2.0 started in 2007 he has flown more than 400,000 miles, which has earned him a lot of perks. — 00:00:23 · Brotherhood 2.0
  • ★ His perks: TSA pre-clearance so he keeps his shoes on, boarding first with a gold medallion status, and lounge access he skips because it is depressing. — 00:00:35

00:01:10 — Who sits in first class: mostly loyal frequent flyers the airlines thank or bribe; infrequent flyers in the back 'have it figured out'

  • ★★ John says some first-class passengers are rich people who paid a lot, but most sit there because they fly one airline all the time and it wants to thank, or essentially bribe, them. — 00:01:10
  • ★★ He tells infrequent flyers walking to a middle seat in the back that they, not the first-class 'fancy people', have it figured out. (playful) — 00:01:26

00:01:41 — Disadvantages: 500 days in airports in six years; the seatmate to Dayton whose elite status cost him a marriage; first-world problems

  • ★★ John says he has spent more than 500 days in airports in the last six years. — 00:01:41
  • ★★ On a flight to Dayton, Ohio, John sat next to a man with super-elite status who said it had cost him a marriage. (playful) — 00:01:48
  • ★ John concedes that complaining about frequent flying is the first-worldliest of first-world problems. — 00:02:10

00:02:19 — Time away from family; last trip until VidCon in August; plans for videos, the new book and family; comments on the cooking-with-a child of the brothers video; being a parent is being around

  • ★★★ The real cost of constant travel, John says, is spending a lot of time away from your family, which sucks. — 00:02:19
  • ★★★ John says this is his last trip until August, when he goes to VidCon, and he is excited to become an infrequent flyer. — 00:02:27 · VidCon
  • ★★ While not flying he will make lots of videos and work on his new book, but most importantly hang out with his family. — 00:02:37
  • ★ John hopes his family time includes Hank and Katherine, but says they will have to come to him because he is not flying. (hedged) — 00:02:42 · Katherine Green
  • ★★ Answering comments on last week's cooking-with-a child of the brothers video that called him a great dad, John says that if he is a good dad it is not because he jokes on camera. — 00:02:46
  • ★★★ John thinks a big part of being a parent is being around, so he is going to try that for a while. (hedged) — 00:03:17

Humor (significant)

  • After listing his frequent-flyer perks, John names 'by far the most important perk': when the humanity-devastating plague comes... — 00:00:46 > «I will be among it's first victims.»
  • John has always said he wants to be right out in front of any human-ending apocalypse. — 00:01:01 > «Like my zombie apocalypse plan? Become a zombie as quickly as possible.»
  • John admires a seatmate's diamond-platinum-elite-silver-plus status; the man agrees it is amazing but asks what it cost him. — 00:02:06 > «you know what it cost me? A marriage.»
  • Mid-sign-off John notices something about himself and realises people in the airport have been watching him all along. — 00:03:34 > «I've been half naked the entire time!»

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