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August 3: The Retail Dance

2007-08-04 · Hank · watch on YouTube · Everyday life · comedy performance

Hank tells of three times in a week when he got something at a store without the usual exchange (free sand, store credit, a free cheeseburger) and says it felt like breaking the rules of the 'retail store dance'; he then sets John a preliminary punishment for his textual communication and raises the WorldSuck meter to orange.

What is said

00:00:00 — Greeting, possible hangover; three retail oddities in a week: a free ripped bag of sand, store credit at the Book Exchange, a free cheeseburger instead of a corn dog

  • ★ Hank says it is possible he has a hangover. (playful) (hedged) — 00:00:10
  • ★★★ Three times in the last week something odd happened to Hank at a store; first, buying sand, he was told a ripped bag was his to take for free. — 00:00:10
  • ★★ At the Book Exchange, a bookstore that trades books for credit ('like a library, except you get to keep the books'), Hank took out his wallet though he paid with credit. (playful) — 00:00:34
  • ★★ With only 70 cents and no two-for-a-dollar corn dogs left, Hank was given a cheeseburger for free by the convenience store clerk. (playful) — 00:01:03

00:01:57 — All three felt like breaking a rule: the retail store dance, performed

  • ★★★ Hank says all three times felt weird, like breaking a rule of the 'retail store dance' surrounding the exchange of goods. (playful) — 00:01:57 > «The retail store dance»

00:02:27 — What to say for a free cheeseburger; John's textual communication: preliminary punishment (call an ex-girlfriend), Nerdfighters asked to suggest what he must mention; well done on last night's video

  • ★★ Hank says 'thank you' is what you say to someone you paid; for a free cheeseburger you would need something like 'I will never forget you', which he didn't want to say. (playful) — 00:02:27
  • ★★★ Hank says Nerdfighters discovered John textually communicated with him ten days after the project started, so John must be punished. — 00:02:27 · Nerdfighteria, No textual communication, Punishment, Brotherhood 2.0
  • ★★★ Hank adopts a viewer's suggestion: John must call an ex-girlfriend and talk for at least one minute, mentioning certain things. (playful) — 00:02:59 · Punishment
  • ★★ Hank asks Nerdfighters to suggest the things John must mention during the call. — 00:02:59 · Nerdfighteria
  • ★ Hank congratulates John on getting his video up last night, having heard John might not make it. — 00:02:59

00:03:28 — WorldSuck meter raised to suck-level orange (Minneapolis disaster, John's offence, a secret sister kicked out of her house); sign-off and nipple-hair bid

  • ★★ Hank says the WorldSuck meter is raised to suck-level orange because of the Minneapolis disaster, John's punishable offence and a secret sister being kicked out of her house. (playful) — 00:03:28 · world suck, secret sibling
  • ★ Having so recently dodged that bullet himself, Hank feels bad for the secret sister who lost her home and wishes her luck. — 00:03:28

Humor (significant)

  • The clerk offers Hank the cheeseburger he can't afford. — 00:01:31 > «I can has cheeseburger?»
  • Hank performs the ritual sounds and moves of buying something. — 00:01:57 > «Ding, ding, ding, pass, pass, take, take, pass, take, take, shunk»
  • Hank imagines the clerk's reaction if he thanked her too warmly for the free cheeseburger. — 00:02:27 > «Oh, I shouldn't have given that guy a free cheeseburger. Now he wants to do me.»
  • After signing off, Hank bids in John's college game of 'I Will'. — 00:03:28 > «I will tweeze one nipple hair for $25.»

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