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Please Google, Take Me to Mars

2008-04-02 · Hank · watch on YouTube · Science & nature · comedy performance

Hank makes a mock application to join Google's Mars colony, bites the head off a Peep John, concedes the Peeps eating contest, and asks viewers whether the brothers should make videos more often.

What is said

00:00:00 — Hank's mock application to Google's Mars colony: qualifications, song, first publication, Mars Society, the pinned Peep John he bites

  • ★★★ Hank says Google is apparently going to Mars and asking for videos on why one should be among the first hundred colonists; he makes his. (playful) — 00:00:00 · Google
  • ★★ Hank lists his qualifications: prime condition, having read Kim Stanley Robinson's Mars trilogy many times, green-technology expertise and the vlog habit of non-conversational family contact. (playful) — 00:00:00
  • ★ Hank says a Mars colonist lives 40 light minutes away from everything they have known. (playful) — 00:00:24
    • number check: 40 — doubtful
  • ★★ Hank says the first thing he ever had published in print was 'Let's Go to Mars', in Space Times Magazine, and reads an excerpt about Mars calling to us. (playful) — 00:00:53
  • ★★ Asked whether he is a founding member of the Mars Society, Hank says yes. (playful) — 00:01:23
  • ★★★ Hank complains John challenged him to a Peeps eating contest without consulting him, forgetting they agreed last year never to have one again; he 'defused' it by pinning a Peep John. (playful) — 00:01:23 · Peeps, John Green
  • ★ Hank says he is trained in biochemistry, computer science and creative nonfiction (cut off mid-word). (playful) — 00:01:23
  • ★ After biting the head off the Peep version of John that has sat on his desk for about six months, Hank thinks his digestive problems are what would keep him from Mars. (playful) (hedged) — 00:01:52 · Peeps

00:03:00 — Hank concedes the Peeps eating contest (no Peeps after Easter); Blurbing Book Club pointer

  • ★★★ Hank concedes the Peeps eating contest: Peeps are no longer sold after Easter and his old Peep John would break his teeth, so he loses. (playful) — 00:03:00 · Peeps
  • ★★ Hank points to the nerdfighters.com forum for Blurbing Book Club information and says blurbs for the next book (heard as 'Going Coastal', likely Going Postal) can go up now. — 00:03:00 · nerdfighters.com, Blurbing Book Club

00:03:29 — Slaughterhouse-Five delay; ask to comment if the brothers should make videos more often; sign-off

  • ★★ Hank apologises that he is still working on Slaughterhouse-Five, has been really slow, and says that is coming up too. — 00:03:29
  • ★★ Hank tells John he thinks they should make videos more often. (hedged) — 00:03:29
  • ★★★ Hank asks viewers who want more frequent videos to say so in comments on YouTube or nerdfighters.com; the reaction will decide, and comments make them feel appreciated. — 00:03:29 · YouTube, nerdfighters.com, Nerdfighteria

Humor (dominant)

  • Hank claims he is good at defusing conflict, e.g. when John sprang the Peeps contest on him. — 00:01:23 > «I was able to defuse the situation by sticking safety pins into the head of a peep version of my brother.»
  • Boasting he can eat anything, Hank bites the six-month-old Peep version of John. — 00:01:52 > «Sorry I bit your head off, John.»
  • Two decapitated Peep heads, one missing its body, try to join up on the rod in a Peep's neck; it doesn't help. — 00:02:34 > «Why am I British? Welcome to the degeneration of my mind.»
  • Hank explains that Peeps vanish from stores after Easter. — 00:03:00 > «They shipped them back to the Peep farm to be happy, jumpy Peeps, uneaten by human mouths.»

Threads in this video

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