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Makin' Babies: A Song

2010-12-02 · Hank · watch on YouTube · Science & nature · comedy performance

For the animal sex week John started, Hank sings a comic love song listing odd animal mating habits; he then reports viewers' space pasta calculations, which found Moon-grown pasta far less efficient than Earth beef.

What is said

00:00:00 — Greeting; John made it animal sex week in a week Hank had to write a song

  • ★★ Hank thanks John for making it animal sex week in a week when he has to write a song, so he wrote a song about animal sex. (playful) — 00:00:00 · John Green

00:00:10 — Love song about animal procreation: giraffes, tortoises, chimpanzees, dolphins, barnacles, anglerfish, flatworms

  • ★ The song says male giraffes have more sex with each other than with females. (playful) — 00:00:31 · giraffe
  • ★★ In the song Hank tells a girlfriend who loves evolutionary biology that there are a lot of ways to make a baby, citing animal mating habits. (playful) — 00:00:43
  • ★★ The song says dolphin sex lasts twenty seconds at most. (playful) — 00:00:58
  • ★★ The song says barnacles' 'junk' is fifty times bigger than their body size. (playful) — 00:01:05
  • ★ The song says the male anglerfish 'gets completely screwed' and the flatworm uses a sword-like penis to stab in its sperm. (playful) — 00:01:10

00:01:42 — Aside: chimpanzee footage left out as too human; was the song creepy?

  • ★ Hank says he wanted chimpanzee mating footage for the chimpanzee line but found it too much like human sex; he concedes the song was a little creepy and asks viewers. (playful) — 00:01:45

00:02:00 — Hank's new Vyou.com profile

  • ★★ Hank says he just started a profile on a new site, Vyou.com (vyou.com/hankgreen), finds it kind of cool and wants to know what viewers think of it. — 00:02:00

00:02:12 — Space pasta results: viewers' calculations show Moon pasta far less efficient than Earth beef

  • ★★ Hank reports that several people did excellent calculations, by several different methods, and all found Moon pasta much less efficient than Earth beef. — 00:02:15
  • ★★ Hank reports Mike Lombardo's calculation, counting only the rocket trip to the Moon and back with the pasta: about 400 times more energy-intensive than growing a cow, which Hank thinks seems low. — 00:02:24
  • ★★ Hank reports the Dancing Hawk's calculation, which includes shipping supplies to build a lunar farm: Moon pasta about 6,500 times less efficient than Earth beef, which Hank finds sound. — 00:02:39

00:02:59 — Sign-off and a proposed new end screen for the videos

  • ★★ Hank shows a new end screen the brothers are thinking of using: the left side (shirts, Truth or Fail) will change, while previous/next, subscribe, Twitter and Facebook stay; he asks for opinions. (hedged) — 00:03:03 · Truth or Fail, Twitter, Facebook

Humor (significant)

  • Hank sings to his girl that everyone knows giraffes make him laugh. — 00:00:31 > «Their men have more sex with each other than with their better half»
  • Hank lists romantic pitfalls from the animal kingdom. — 00:00:34 > «there is no better way to destroy A mood than to make a tortoise noise»
  • After dolphins and barnacles, the song turns to the anglerfish, whose male fuses to the female. — 00:01:10 > «And the male anglerfish gets completely screwed Proving sometimes sex sucks even for the dude»
  • Hank explains he put chimpanzees in the song to use chimpanzee mating footage. — 00:01:45 > «it's a little too much like people having sex for me to be comfortable»

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