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Edward Cullen

character · in 16 videos (2008–2011)

Mentions by year: 2008: 3 · 2009: 8 · 2010: 3 · 2011: 2

What the videos say

2008

  • 2008-05-21 · Guys Love Giraffe Love — On Edward or Jacob, John calls Edward Cullen a beautiful but empty vessel for our hopes; people who are mostly ideas attract more, but loving one is not sustainable, so he picks Jacob. (00:00:41)
  • 2008-07-22 · OMFG CATCHER IN THE RYE!!! — John faults a feeling in contemporary coming-of-age fiction that characters should be who you want to be or be with; Holden is no Edward Cullen but the guy you secretly know yourself to be. (00:02:43)

2009

  • 2009-01-14 · Beanie John's Love Advice — John tells girls that boys are more like his teenage self than like Edward Cullen, and tells boys to be nice to a girl they like, not creepily so. (00:02:00)
  • 2009-02-01 · Super Bowl Analysis from an Idiot — John offers a final name, the Arizona blood-drinking silver-haired virgins, saying the NFL, for all its success, has almost completely failed to reach the Twilight fan demographic. (00:02:08)
  • 2009-02-01 · Super Bowl Analysis from an Idiot — John says Google's top autocomplete for 'is Edward Cullen' is 'is Edward Cullen real?', found while checking if Edward is a virgin; John answers that he is not real. (00:02:34)
  • 2009-02-11 · Paper Towns Tastic Question Tuesday — Q's misimagining of Margo resembles Pudge's of Alaska; John argues that imagining someone as more than a person does them and ourselves a profound disservice. (00:01:22)
  • 2009-03-12 · I'm Not Edward Cullen: A Song — In song, Hank plays a boyfriend whose girlfriend won't love him because he isn't Edward Cullen, though he can wear sparkly makeup and golden contacts. (00:00:32)
  • 2009-03-12 · I'm Not Edward Cullen: A Song — Katherine's character answers that only Edward can protect her, citing his century of saved-up wealth and virginity, and says she can't love the boyfriend. (00:00:57)
  • 2009-11-30 · John Reviews Twilight and New Moon — John comically summarises Twilight: Edward Cullen looks 17 but is a 107-year-old sparkly vampire who dates a 16-year-old girl, "which for some reason isn't wrong". (00:00:15)
  • 2009-11-30 · John Reviews Twilight and New Moon — John thinks Edward and Bella's relationship dynamics are troubling and that obsession shouldn't be conflated with love, though everyone romanticises those they adore, especially in high school. (00:02:18)

2010

  • 2010-11-18 · HARRY POTTER SONG! — Hank sings that he read Twilight in his darkest nights; Edward has a killing curse coming, and the name Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington alone beats anything in Breaking Dawn. (00:02:39)

2011