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August 6th: JK Rowling and I Will ... Be Punished

2007-08-07 · John · watch on YouTube · Nerdfighteria · advocacy activism

With the Yeti vetoing his ex-girlfriend punishment, John proposes a ten-tier punishment scaled to the number of people who donate to Daniel Biss's Illinois state-representative campaign via ActBlue, pitching Biss as a Nerdfighter who shares their causes.

What is said

00:00:00 — Greeting; hellos to Hank from their cousin and her husband, author Lisa Yee and Harry Potter editor Arthur Levine; joking about knowing 'Jo' Rowling

  • ★★ John tells Hank that their cousin and her husband, author Lisa Yee, and Arthur Levine, who edited the Harry Potter books, just said hello to Hank. — 00:00:00 · Harry Potter
  • ★ John jokes that Arthur Levine is kind of a nerdfighter, and since Arthur knows J.K. Rowling, maybe they can talk 'Jo' into being one. (playful) (hedged) — 00:00:00 · nerdfighter

00:00:43 — The Yeti vetoes the ex-girlfriend punishment; John phones Daniel Biss about a punishment that decreases world suck via campaign contributions

  • ★★★ John reports the Yeti has vetoed the ex-girlfriend punishment, feeling he has tortured his exes enough with radio pieces 'and all of that stuff'. — 00:00:43 · Sarah Urist Green, Punishment
  • ★★★ Needing a punishment anyway, John phones Daniel Biss to ask whether he may accept contributions given because John injures himself, so the punishment decreases world suck. (playful) — 00:01:11 · Daniel Biss, world suck
  • ★ On the phone John claims waxing legs doesn't hurt much (or girls would stop doing it), whereas waxing your chin hurts. (playful) — 00:01:11

00:01:34 — Pitch for Daniel Biss's grassroots campaign for Illinois state representative: education funding, fuel-efficiency rules, number of donors

  • ★★★ John announces that this week they will collect donations to help Daniel Biss become the first nerdfighter ever elected to state congress. — 00:01:34 · Daniel Biss, nerdfighter
  • ★★ John says Illinois is 49th in education funding ('thank God for Mississippi') and that Biss wants to change that. — 00:01:34 · Daniel Biss
  • ★★ John says Illinois has no state fuel efficiency regulations of any kind, which Biss also wants to change. — 00:01:34 · Daniel Biss
  • ★★ John says Biss wants to help the environment and put more teachers and librarians in schools, so he cares about the same things they care about. — 00:01:34 · Daniel Biss
  • ★★ John says the key to Biss's grassroots campaign for Illinois state representative is not the size of donations but the number of donors. — 00:01:34 · Daniel Biss

00:02:03 — Ten-tier punishment system scaled to the number of ActBlue donors (saltines to a Nerdfighter tattoo); invitation to suggest more

  • ★★★ John proposes basing the severity of his punishment on the number of people who donate to Biss's campaign. (playful) — 00:02:03 · Punishment, Daniel Biss
  • ★ John says his suggestions focus on eating or pain because both are funny; embarrassment is funny too, but they have done it a lot lately. (playful) — 00:02:03
  • ★★ Lower tiers via ActBlue: five or fewer donors, six saltines in a minute; 10, 1,500 calories of gross food; 25, saltines plus a novelty dance; 35, waxing a limb; 50, waxing plus licking a cat. (playful) — 00:02:03
  • ★★ Upper tiers: 75 and 100 donors, breaking a private person's Peeps eating record plus waxing; 200, a blenderized Happy Meal; 500, 16 hours in Walmart; 5,000, a Nerdfighter tattoo. (playful) — 00:03:01 · Peeps, Happy Meal, nerdfighter
  • ★★ John invites Hank and the Nerdfighters to suggest more punishments and offers to say how many donors each would take. — 00:03:01 · Nerdfighteria

00:03:46 — Thanks to the SCBWI for hosting the conference and the big video screen

  • ★★ John thanks everyone at the SCBWI for hosting 'this great conference' and for putting him on a gigantic video screen. — 00:03:46

Humor (significant)

  • John notes Illinois ranks 49th in education funding. — 00:01:34 > «thank God for Mississippi»
  • John admits licking a cat sounds easy. — 00:02:32 > «Well, it's hard if you live in Indianapolis and don't know anyone who owns a cat.»
  • John keeps repeating the tier phrase 'wax a limb of your choice'. — 00:03:01 > «Waxing a limb of your choice is one of those phrases that isn't dirty, but sure seems dirty the more you say it.»
  • The 500-donor tier of the punishment menu. — 00:03:01 > «I will spend 16 hours straight without pause inside the Walmart next to my house.»

Threads in this video

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