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October 10th: A Spoilerific Attack on Unicorns

2007-10-10 · letter vlog · John · 3:33 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Pop culture (also: US politics & society) · mode: Comedy & performance · tags: community lore, self promotion, civic or action cta

John accepts Hank's card metaphor but adds that politicians are dishonest, so character matters too, and he is now equally for Edwards and Obama; he then argues, with Deathly Hallows spoilers, that unicorns saved Voldemort and so killed Tonks.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Greeting; Hank's card metaphor works, but politicians are more dishonest than poker players

  • ★★ John says Hank's card metaphor was effective: you should not elect someone for being a good poker player, but partly for the cards they show, what they say they will do and how. — 00:00:00
  • ★★★ John says the theory assumes politicians are honest and will do what they say, when politicians as a class are slightly more dishonest than poker players. (playful) — 00:00:00

00:00:39 — King of Hearts turns out to be the Joker; 2004 Kerry cards; character matters (George Bush as Decepticon); now equally for Edwards and Obama

  • ★★★ John thinks this is why a politician's character matters: so voters can be reasonably sure they will do what they say they will. (hedged) — 00:00:39
  • ★★ John's example of a politician whose promised cards (avoid nation building, no preemptive war) turn out to be the Joker ends with George Bush as a belligerent, anti-intellectual, mean-headed Decepticon. (playful) — 00:00:39 · Decepticon
  • ★ John thanks his 2004 'Vote Kerry' playing cards for helping him with the joke. (playful) — 00:00:39
  • ★★★ John likes John Edwards and is now equally for Edwards and Barack Obama, conceding that Hank has won that part of the feud. — 00:00:39 · Barack Obama

00:01:24 — The zombies-vs-unicorns fight Hank will never win; Harry Potter 7 spoiler warning

  • ★★ John says Hank will never win the zombies-versus-unicorns part of the feud, and offers a 'foolproof' argument against unicorns only for those who have read Harry Potter 7. (playful) — 00:01:24 · Harry Potter (book series)

00:01:53 — 'Why do you guys hate Tonks so much?': unicorn blood saved Voldemort, whose war killed Tonks; Narnia; unicorns kill, zombies only make undead; sign-off

  • ★★★ John's argument 'Why do you guys hate Tonks so much?': Voldemort survives by drinking unicorn blood, so unicorns saved him, and his war killed Tonks; if you like unicorns, you killed Tonks, and Hedwig. (playful) — 00:01:53 · Harry Potter (book series)
  • ★★ John is not defending zombies, which are disgusting, but zombies didn't kill Tonks; in Narnia unicorns only impale people and in Harry Potter they save villains, so unicorns kill while zombies only make people undead. (playful) — 00:02:22 · Harry Potter (book series)

00:03:17 — P.S. positive thoughts for two secret siblings; P.P.S. Looking for Alaska an Inky Award finalist, Nerdfighters under 25 can vote

Humor (significant)

  • A politician shows a great hand of promises and gets elected. — 00:00:39

    “And you elect it, and it's like, just kidding. I'm the Joker!”

  • Anyone who has avoided Harry Potter 7 spoilers this long... — 00:01:24

    “I would like to find out where they live so that I can go there in the event of a nuclear holocaust”

  • John's mock-Aristotelian chain from unicorn blood to Voldemort to Tonks' death. — 00:02:22

    “and you like unicorns, you killed Tonks. Not to mention Hedwig.”

  • Announcing the Inky Award nomination of John's novel. — 00:03:17

    “Looking for Alaska, or as it's known in Australia, Looking for Alaska”

Threads in this video

Where the stories that moved here went next

Mentioned

Central: Barack Obama · Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows · Inky Awards · John Edwards · Looking for Alaska (novel) · unicorn

Also: People: George W. Bush · John Kerry

Works: Harry Potter (book series)

Terms: Decepticon · secret sibling

Places: Australia · Montana

Characters: Hedwig · Narnia · Nymphadora Tonks · Voldemort

Myths: zombie

Also centred on Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: July 24: More Harry Potter?!

Also centred on Inky Awards: Nov 15: Jay-Z, the Inkys, Nerdfighteria, and Venn Diagrams!

Also centred on John Edwards: October 5th: Feuding, Goonies and Politics · October 8th: Zombies v. Unicorns · October 9th: The Feud Continues

Also centred on unicorn: October 8th: Zombies v. Unicorns · October 9th: The Feud Continues

Replies to

Later videos replying to this one

Part of an exchange of 9 videos, 2007-10-03 – 2007-10-15.