Humor
How funny the channel is, in what styles, and its best jokes, 2007–2026. Each of the 2,523 videos has a humor share — none, minor (a few gags around serious content), significant (comedy is a main ingredient) or dominant (essentially a comic piece). In significant and dominant videos the strongest jokes are recorded (at most one per started minute, eight per video), each with a kind, a 1–3 strength, a paraphrased setup and the punchline as said.
In this snapshot: 204 dominant, 1074 significant, 1151 minor and 94 humor-free videos; 5,061 recorded jokes, 1,997 of them rated strength 3.
- Comedy-heavy videos — every dominant and significant video, by year
- Best jokes by year: 2007 (325) · 2008 (134) · 2009 (238) · 2010 (208) · 2011 (169) · 2012 (100) · 2013 (103) · 2014 (90) · 2015 (81) · 2016 (66) · 2017 (63) · 2018 (55) · 2019 (49) · 2020 (26) · 2021 (48) · 2022 (45) · 2023 (63) · 2024 (48) · 2025 (49) · 2026 (37)
How to read the style tables
Kinds come from the analysis of each joke. Running bit and callback overlap — a return of a known bit (e.g. "in your pants") is filed under either — so read them together. Because jokes are only recorded in significant and dominant videos, the tables describe the notable jokes of comic videos, not every gag.
How much of the channel is comedy
Videos per upload year by humor share; the last column is the share of videos where comedy is a main ingredient or the whole point.
| year | videos | dominant | significant | minor | none | significant + dominant |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2007 | 258 | 34 | 185 | 38 | 1 | 85 % |
| 2008 | 130 | 20 | 77 | 32 | 1 | 75 % |
| 2009 | 185 | 39 | 108 | 37 | 1 | 79 % |
| 2010 | 157 | 17 | 106 | 32 | 2 | 78 % |
| 2011 | 155 | 8 | 97 | 50 | 0 | 68 % |
| 2012 | 111 | 9 | 55 | 46 | 1 | 58 % |
| 2013 | 107 | 11 | 54 | 40 | 2 | 61 % |
| 2014 | 114 | 1 | 59 | 49 | 5 | 53 % |
| 2015 | 115 | 8 | 41 | 62 | 4 | 43 % |
| 2016 | 114 | 7 | 32 | 68 | 7 | 34 % |
| 2017 | 113 | 10 | 29 | 68 | 6 | 35 % |
| 2018 | 109 | 6 | 32 | 65 | 6 | 35 % |
| 2019 | 110 | 6 | 27 | 69 | 8 | 30 % |
| 2020 | 108 | 2 | 17 | 81 | 8 | 18 % |
| 2021 | 106 | 6 | 25 | 68 | 7 | 29 % |
| 2022 | 108 | 10 | 25 | 61 | 12 | 32 % |
| 2023 | 107 | 2 | 34 | 62 | 9 | 34 % |
| 2024 | 114 | 4 | 25 | 82 | 3 | 25 % |
| 2025 | 107 | 3 | 25 | 74 | 5 | 26 % |
| 2026 | 95 | 1 | 21 | 67 | 6 | 23 % |
By brother
Share of each brother's videos (the main speaker of the video) that are significant or dominant comedy, per year.
| year | John: videos | John: comic | Hank: videos | Hank: comic |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2007 | 128 | 91 % | 129 | 78 % |
| 2008 | 61 | 82 % | 65 | 69 % |
| 2009 | 90 | 87 % | 95 | 73 % |
| 2010 | 75 | 92 % | 78 | 65 % |
| 2011 | 76 | 79 % | 79 | 57 % |
| 2012 | 55 | 67 % | 56 | 48 % |
| 2013 | 48 | 67 % | 52 | 50 % |
| 2014 | 58 | 52 % | 56 | 54 % |
| 2015 | 59 | 53 % | 56 | 32 % |
| 2016 | 54 | 33 % | 51 | 33 % |
| 2017 | 57 | 33 % | 56 | 36 % |
| 2018 | 54 | 33 % | 55 | 36 % |
| 2019 | 53 | 23 % | 57 | 37 % |
| 2020 | 54 | 17 % | 54 | 19 % |
| 2021 | 53 | 36 % | 53 | 23 % |
| 2022 | 53 | 38 % | 55 | 27 % |
| 2023 | 53 | 36 % | 54 | 31 % |
| 2024 | 52 | 19 % | 62 | 31 % |
| 2025 | 49 | 33 % | 58 | 21 % |
| 2026 | 46 | 26 % | 49 | 20 % |
Humor styles over time
Share of each kind among the recorded jokes of the year (all strengths).
| year | jokes | Absurd | Self-deprecation | Wordplay | Satire | Callback | Running bit | Visual gag | Comic / parody song |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2007 | 783 | 52 % | 18 % | 10 % | 6 % | 5 % | 3 % | 4 % | 1 % |
| 2008 | 359 | 48 % | 18 % | 12 % | 6 % | 5 % | 5 % | 3 % | 3 % |
| 2009 | 545 | 47 % | 15 % | 15 % | 9 % | 3 % | 4 % | 4 % | 3 % |
| 2010 | 484 | 54 % | 14 % | 12 % | 7 % | 5 % | 3 % | 3 % | 1 % |
| 2011 | 397 | 48 % | 14 % | 18 % | 7 % | 6 % | 4 % | 3 % | 1 % |
| 2012 | 246 | 53 % | 15 % | 11 % | 8 % | 4 % | 4 % | 2 % | 2 % |
| 2013 | 255 | 54 % | 18 % | 10 % | 7 % | 5 % | 2 % | 3 % | 1 % |
| 2014 | 226 | 50 % | 19 % | 17 % | 5 % | 4 % | 2 % | 3 % | 0 % |
| 2015 | 187 | 48 % | 25 % | 13 % | 6 % | 4 % | 0 % | 3 % | 1 % |
| 2016 | 151 | 52 % | 17 % | 17 % | 8 % | 3 % | 1 % | 3 % | 0 % |
| 2017 | 153 | 56 % | 13 % | 12 % | 8 % | 3 % | 1 % | 3 % | 3 % |
| 2018 | 151 | 52 % | 22 % | 13 % | 8 % | 1 % | 3 % | 1 % | 1 % |
| 2019 | 129 | 52 % | 19 % | 14 % | 8 % | 3 % | 2 % | 2 % | 0 % |
| 2020 | 76 | 42 % | 28 % | 14 % | 8 % | 4 % | 1 % | 3 % | 0 % |
| 2021 | 124 | 52 % | 23 % | 9 % | 5 % | 5 % | 4 % | 2 % | 1 % |
| 2022 | 149 | 54 % | 24 % | 12 % | 3 % | 3 % | 3 % | 1 % | 0 % |
| 2023 | 175 | 44 % | 21 % | 17 % | 8 % | 4 % | 3 % | 3 % | 0 % |
| 2024 | 157 | 50 % | 27 % | 11 % | 6 % | 3 % | 2 % | 1 % | 0 % |
| 2025 | 168 | 49 % | 24 % | 10 % | 8 % | 4 % | 5 % | 0 % | 0 % |
| 2026 | 146 | 51 % | 16 % | 16 % | 7 % | 4 % | 5 % | 0 % | 0 % |
Strength-3 jokes only:
| year | jokes | Absurd | Self-deprecation | Wordplay | Satire | Callback | Running bit | Visual gag | Comic / parody song |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2007 | 325 | 51 % | 16 % | 14 % | 7 % | 4 % | 5 % | 2 % | 1 % |
| 2008 | 134 | 51 % | 13 % | 13 % | 8 % | 1 % | 7 % | 2 % | 4 % |
| 2009 | 238 | 45 % | 14 % | 16 % | 10 % | 1 % | 5 % | 3 % | 5 % |
| 2010 | 208 | 53 % | 15 % | 13 % | 10 % | 5 % | 1 % | 1 % | 1 % |
| 2011 | 169 | 48 % | 11 % | 19 % | 9 % | 5 % | 5 % | 2 % | 1 % |
| 2012 | 100 | 51 % | 14 % | 16 % | 10 % | 5 % | 3 % | 1 % | 0 % |
| 2013 | 103 | 58 % | 14 % | 10 % | 9 % | 5 % | 3 % | 1 % | 1 % |
| 2014 | 90 | 41 % | 20 % | 22 % | 8 % | 3 % | 2 % | 2 % | 1 % |
| 2015 | 81 | 57 % | 12 % | 16 % | 6 % | 6 % | 0 % | 1 % | 1 % |
| 2016 | 66 | 55 % | 14 % | 20 % | 9 % | 2 % | 2 % | 0 % | 0 % |
| 2017 | 63 | 56 % | 10 % | 11 % | 14 % | 2 % | 3 % | 3 % | 2 % |
| 2018 | 55 | 47 % | 24 % | 9 % | 13 % | 2 % | 4 % | 0 % | 2 % |
| 2019 | 49 | 59 % | 16 % | 10 % | 4 % | 4 % | 4 % | 2 % | 0 % |
| 2020 | 26 | 42 % | 19 % | 19 % | 12 % | 0 % | 0 % | 8 % | 0 % |
| 2021 | 48 | 52 % | 19 % | 6 % | 6 % | 4 % | 8 % | 2 % | 2 % |
| 2022 | 45 | 56 % | 20 % | 13 % | 4 % | 2 % | 4 % | 0 % | 0 % |
| 2023 | 63 | 52 % | 16 % | 16 % | 10 % | 3 % | 3 % | 0 % | 0 % |
| 2024 | 48 | 40 % | 33 % | 12 % | 8 % | 2 % | 4 % | 0 % | 0 % |
| 2025 | 49 | 39 % | 33 % | 8 % | 2 % | 10 % | 8 % | 0 % | 0 % |
| 2026 | 37 | 57 % | 16 % | 11 % | 11 % | 5 % | 0 % | 0 % | 0 % |
By brother
Who tells the joke is the speaker of its segment; jokes in segments shared by both brothers or by guests are counted under their own rows.
| who | jokes | Absurd | Self-deprecation | Wordplay | Satire | Callback | Running bit | Visual gag | Comic / parody song |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| John | 2568 | 47 % | 20 % | 13 % | 7 % | 5 % | 4 % | 2 % | 0 % |
| Hank | 2325 | 54 % | 16 % | 13 % | 6 % | 3 % | 2 % | 3 % | 2 % |
| both | 94 | 53 % | 11 % | 15 % | 6 % | 4 % | 5 % | 2 % | 3 % |
| guests | 74 | 45 % | 14 % | 23 % | 5 % | 8 % | 1 % | 1 % | 3 % |
John, year by year
| year | jokes | Absurd | Self-deprecation | Wordplay | Satire | Callback | Running bit | Visual gag | Comic / parody song |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2007 | 400 | 48 % | 18 % | 10 % | 9 % | 6 % | 6 % | 2 % | 1 % |
| 2008 | 193 | 44 % | 20 % | 15 % | 6 % | 7 % | 6 % | 2 % | 0 % |
| 2009 | 269 | 44 % | 16 % | 17 % | 10 % | 4 % | 5 % | 3 % | 0 % |
| 2010 | 270 | 51 % | 16 % | 11 % | 7 % | 5 % | 4 % | 4 % | 1 % |
| 2011 | 221 | 48 % | 14 % | 18 % | 6 % | 8 % | 4 % | 3 % | 0 % |
| 2012 | 142 | 49 % | 20 % | 12 % | 6 % | 5 % | 6 % | 3 % | 0 % |
| 2013 | 117 | 56 % | 23 % | 6 % | 3 % | 6 % | 3 % | 3 % | 1 % |
| 2014 | 114 | 40 % | 25 % | 19 % | 5 % | 4 % | 3 % | 3 % | 0 % |
| 2015 | 104 | 41 % | 32 % | 14 % | 6 % | 5 % | 0 % | 2 % | 0 % |
| 2016 | 64 | 53 % | 14 % | 12 % | 14 % | 2 % | 3 % | 2 % | 0 % |
| 2017 | 68 | 50 % | 16 % | 13 % | 9 % | 4 % | 3 % | 4 % | 0 % |
| 2018 | 71 | 44 % | 25 % | 13 % | 13 % | 1 % | 4 % | 0 % | 0 % |
| 2019 | 46 | 46 % | 24 % | 15 % | 11 % | 4 % | 0 % | 0 % | 0 % |
| 2020 | 37 | 41 % | 32 % | 14 % | 3 % | 5 % | 3 % | 3 % | 0 % |
| 2021 | 76 | 53 % | 24 % | 7 % | 5 % | 5 % | 7 % | 0 % | 0 % |
| 2022 | 88 | 51 % | 25 % | 12 % | 5 % | 2 % | 3 % | 1 % | 0 % |
| 2023 | 78 | 44 % | 22 % | 19 % | 9 % | 4 % | 1 % | 1 % | 0 % |
| 2024 | 52 | 48 % | 27 % | 10 % | 10 % | 2 % | 2 % | 2 % | 0 % |
| 2025 | 87 | 40 % | 30 % | 7 % | 8 % | 6 % | 9 % | 0 % | 0 % |
| 2026 | 71 | 45 % | 23 % | 13 % | 8 % | 6 % | 6 % | 0 % | 0 % |
Hank, year by year
| year | jokes | Absurd | Self-deprecation | Wordplay | Satire | Callback | Running bit | Visual gag | Comic / parody song |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2007 | 360 | 57 % | 18 % | 10 % | 4 % | 4 % | 1 % | 5 % | 1 % |
| 2008 | 156 | 53 % | 17 % | 7 % | 6 % | 3 % | 4 % | 3 % | 6 % |
| 2009 | 262 | 49 % | 14 % | 14 % | 8 % | 3 % | 2 % | 5 % | 5 % |
| 2010 | 198 | 58 % | 12 % | 14 % | 7 % | 5 % | 2 % | 3 % | 2 % |
| 2011 | 176 | 48 % | 14 % | 19 % | 8 % | 3 % | 3 % | 3 % | 2 % |
| 2012 | 104 | 59 % | 9 % | 10 % | 11 % | 3 % | 3 % | 2 % | 5 % |
| 2013 | 96 | 60 % | 12 % | 7 % | 11 % | 3 % | 2 % | 2 % | 1 % |
| 2014 | 108 | 59 % | 12 % | 16 % | 6 % | 3 % | 1 % | 3 % | 1 % |
| 2015 | 72 | 56 % | 18 % | 10 % | 7 % | 3 % | 0 % | 6 % | 1 % |
| 2016 | 64 | 48 % | 19 % | 19 % | 5 % | 5 % | 0 % | 5 % | 0 % |
| 2017 | 82 | 60 % | 11 % | 12 % | 7 % | 2 % | 0 % | 2 % | 5 % |
| 2018 | 80 | 59 % | 19 % | 14 % | 4 % | 1 % | 1 % | 1 % | 1 % |
| 2019 | 83 | 55 % | 16 % | 13 % | 6 % | 2 % | 4 % | 4 % | 0 % |
| 2020 | 39 | 44 % | 23 % | 15 % | 13 % | 3 % | 0 % | 3 % | 0 % |
| 2021 | 48 | 50 % | 23 % | 12 % | 4 % | 4 % | 0 % | 4 % | 2 % |
| 2022 | 61 | 57 % | 23 % | 11 % | 2 % | 3 % | 2 % | 2 % | 0 % |
| 2023 | 97 | 44 % | 21 % | 14 % | 7 % | 4 % | 5 % | 4 % | 0 % |
| 2024 | 103 | 50 % | 28 % | 13 % | 4 % | 4 % | 2 % | 0 % | 0 % |
| 2025 | 74 | 57 % | 18 % | 14 % | 9 % | 3 % | 0 % | 0 % | 0 % |
| 2026 | 62 | 58 % | 13 % | 21 % | 2 % | 3 % | 3 % | 0 % | 0 % |
Bits that keep coming back
Running bits with recorded jokes in three or more videos: first and latest recorded joke.
| bit | videos | first | latest |
|---|---|---|---|
| 'In your pants' suffix game (2007) | 53 | 2007-01-23 “Stumbling on Happiness in Your Pants.” (00:02:28) | 2013-07-09 “The Girl Who Chased the Moon in Your Pants” (00:00:58) |
| John's wife Sarah as 'the Yeti' (2007) | 25 | 2007-01-02 “Sarah is like the Yeti.” (00:00:37) | 2025-01-07 “He's the new Yeti.” (00:00:50) |
| John's giraffe-love bit ('people love giraffes who love giraffes') | 20 | 2008-02-21 “We're people who love giraffes who love girrafes.” (00:01:43) | 2021-10-14 “there is no other kind of giraffe sex” (00:01:27) |
| 'Who the F is Hank?': John's joke answers (2008) | 13 | 2008-01-08 “Hank is in fact just something orbiting out there in the distance.” (00:00:36) | 2013-06-11 “See? I'm hanking right now. Hank you very much.” (00:02:34) |
| John's 'the puff' stress habit (2007) | 12 | 2007-05-08 “the puff level has a direct correlation to the stress level” (00:02:10) | 2010-07-05 “as puff fights so often do.” (00:01:10) |
| John's puppy-sized elephant (2008) | 12 | 2008-01-08 “Dear Evolution, I have always believed in you, and I have always defended you. Now make me a puppy-sized elephant!” (00:00:00) | 2015-01-04 “They're also trying to genetically engineer puppy-sized elephants.” (00:02:26) |
| John's Pizza John mustache, worn on camera as a recurring bit (2011) | 11 | 2011-02-09 “you can never be quite sure that it's gone away for good.” (00:00:12) | 2025-09-29 “I just kind of made a call to stay married.” (00:01:03) |
| Hank's crush on Helen Hunt (2007) | 8 | 2007-04-25 “That after school special made me wanna never do PCP” (00:00:38) | 2026-05-29 “So that's the story of how I was absolutely destroyed by my high school crush as a 46-year-old man.” (00:04:21) |
| 'French the llama': John's misreading of FTL as an exclamation of amazement (2009) | 7 | 2009-12-20 “French the llama the square root of negative one is a letter?” (00:02:21) | 2015-01-04 “Are you FRENCH THE LLAMA kidding” (00:01:30) |
| Hank's 'tiny chickens' illness bit (2007) | 7 | 2007-01-11 “this tiny chicken has laid tiny eggs in my head” (00:00:00) | 2019-04-19 “So my brain's got tiny chickens in it” (00:00:00) |
| John's 'giant squid of anger' (2009) | 7 | 2010-05-10 “There's only a few things that turn me into a giant squid of anger, and one of them begins:” (00:02:03) | 2018-08-24 “Number 10, doing that giant squid of anger, because John, you're mad sometimes.” (00:00:31) |
| Peanut Butter Face: John discusses world news with peanut butter on his face (2008) | 6 | 2009-04-26 “Peanut Butter Face!” (00:00:52) | 2024-10-11 “This, this just goes to show you that there are eras on the” (00:01:48) |
| The Evil Baby Orphanage (2007) | 6 | 2007-05-21 “There aren't very many evil baby girls. Uh-oh.” (00:02:49) | 2012-04-27 “Yeah. I'm gonna kill a baby.” (00:01:35) |
| Dave Green: the imaginary third Green brother invented on Tumblr (2014) | 5 | 2014-01-24 “The third unsuccessful brother.” (00:01:26) | 2025-07-15 “he's a man-sized largemouth bass with consciousness yeah who manages a wendy's” (00:07:16) |
| John's proposal to say 'jokes' instead of 'cool' (2007) | 5 | 2007-07-25 “Hey, is it hot outside? No, that's pretty jokes.” (00:02:04) | 2008-04-28 “do you mean like cool or do you mean like the plural of joke” (00:01:17) |
| Jarrod (Jared): the cryptocurrency-vampire P4A 2024 mascot (2024) | 4 | 2024-05-20 “He's never that firm. I can tell you having met him. It's always a little floppy.” (00:08:53) | 2026-07-08 “Jared's on a journey of meaning.” (00:02:17) |
| John throws himself against a wall to prove he's not an octopus (2008) | 4 | 2008-10-11 “If I jumped against the wall, I would stick. I am not an octopus.” (00:01:43) | 2014-12-09 “Cara Delevingne likes my eyebrows and is an octopus.” (00:03:33) |
| John unexpectedly finds himself in an airport ('Am I in an airport?') (2013) | 4 | 2013-03-20 “What? What? Am I in an airport?” (00:00:00) | 2014-06-24 “I have found myself, in a stunning turn of events, in an airport.” (00:00:01) |
| The brothers miscount the parts of their multi-part videos (2008) | 4 | 2008-05-06 “You can't count to three? I mean, I know you're bad at math” (00:01:05) | 2010-06-11 “I'm so good at counting.” (00:01:23) |
| 'Tobian': Hank's made-up evil word (2008) | 3 | 2008-06-19 “we were, in fact, insulting the 22 remaining residents of the island of Toby in the South Pacific” (00:00:43) | 2008-07-30 “How could you have thought that lovely woman is evil?” (00:03:38) |
| 'Warner Chilcott' used as a swear word (2011) | 3 | 2011-01-26 “then it can go Warner-Chilcot itself” (00:03:24) | 2011-05-18 “that continuum is complete and utter... Warner Chilcott.” (00:00:49) |
| Answering Google autocomplete questions (2010) | 3 | 2011-01-28 “Maybe I should talk like this.” (00:01:05) | 2019-09-20 “But anyway, I'm not bitter.” (00:00:27) |
| Hank's 'Dude, no edge!': his obsession with the universe having no edge (2012) | 3 | 2012-02-07 “Hey, John. There is no edge.” (00:01:33) | 2012-03-13 “That's right, Hank. Honey Badger ate the edge.” (00:03:21) |
| Hank's 'hug bucket': the people you want to hug (2010) | 3 | 2010-04-28 “And don't just say me, because, y'know, I know you wanna hug this.” (00:03:27) | 2010-05-05 “This is for your hug bucket.” (00:11:06) |
| Hank's 'million dollar idea' phone calls to John (2013) | 3 | 2013-08-06 “Hank Games times two. It's just Hank Games sped up so it's twice as fast.” (00:01:02) | 2025-12-09 “because most of Hank Green's million dollar ideas are in fact single digit dollar ideas.” (00:03:53) |
| Hank's bit that the 2026 Project for Awesome is already in 2027, with every problem solved (2026) | 3 | 2026-02-13 “There was a war with the fish and we won, which means that we got to take the oceans, but they took the land.” (01:22:43) | 2026-02-15 “Sometimes you need a shared enemy, Hank. And for us, it was the giant squid of 2026.” (04:26:07) |
| Hanklerfish: an anglerfish drawn by a Hank (2011) | 3 | 2011-08-15 “I made up a word and I verbed it.” (00:02:40) | 2014-01-31 “Oh my gosh it's a Hanklerfish! They're real!” (00:03:49) |
| John eats his cereal with water instead of milk (2016) | 3 | 2016-02-09 “that stuff that comes out of the nether regions of a cow” (00:02:20) | 2023-06-30 “and you push the water button, and the water comes out. Cold.” (00:02:56) |
| John's 'signing madness' from signing every copy of The Fault in Our Stars (2011) | 3 | 2011-09-16 “That's a disease, you know. I made it up, but it's a disease.” (00:01:55) | 2011-10-24 “There's no such thing as a mog, which are you?!” (00:00:35) |
| John's Sharpie Face: answering questions with Sharpie drawn on his face (2012) | 3 | 2011-12-19 “I'm not trying to be the guy in the neighborhood with the Sharpie face, so I just hid.” (00:01:13) | 2014-12-16 “Oh, Henry you were so right to be worried about forehead diseases” (00:01:13) |
| The brothers' headdesk bit (2011) | 3 | 2011-01-03 “Ah headdesk!” (00:01:08) | 2011-01-07 “I don't know, is today Tuesday? Did I hit my head earlier?” (00:02:41) |
| The doctor who said 'sneezing is not normal, I never sneeze', nicknamed Dr. NeverSneezer Scrooge by Hank (2021) | 3 | 2021-10-04 “Sneezing is never normal, I never sneeze.” (00:02:26) | 2026-10-13 “That's weird. That's not normal.” (00:03:19) |
Comedy-heavy videos, year by year
Dominant (comic-piece) videos per year, with one example joke each; the full list with all significant videos is on Comedy-heavy videos.
2007 — 34 dominant
- 2007-01-03 Brotherhood 2.0: January 3rd — People think the brothers look like the twin rock duo The Proclaimers. → “Which is admittedly better than people thinking that we look like the twin rock duo, Nelson.” (00:00:54)
- 2007-01-05 Brotherhood 2.0: January 5th — Hank says the only thing he knows about Nepal is that there may be... → “Rocks? And that's only really because there are rocks everywhere.” (00:01:56)
- 2007-01-29 Brotherhood 2.0: January 29th — Hank, Katherine and friends sing an old song's title line with the 'from your pants' suffix, over and over. → “Will you miss me when I'm gone from your pants?” (00:01:17)
- 2007-01-30 Brotherhood 2.0: January 30, 2007 — A commenter says they feel kind of bad for John having to follow Hank's videos. → “Jesus, Anonymous, try being John!” (00:00:53)
- 2007-02-05 Brotherhood 2.0, February 5, 2007 — Bleeding from the first pull, John explains why he will try waxing once more. → “Because I'm a hard worker, and I believe in the project, and I believe in Brotherhood 2.0” (00:01:47)
- 2007-02-07 Brotherhood 2.0: February 7, 2007 — Each morning dozens of people surround Hank's house and chant. → “What do we want to poop in? Hank's pants! When do we want to poop in them? Now!” (00:00:10)
- 2007-02-14 Brotherhood 2.0: February 14th — Hank's etymology ends with Valen bringing Earth the message of his 'pinnacle', raising the birth rate. → “Happy Valen's penis day!” (00:01:22)
- 2007-02-15 Brotherhood 2.0: February 17, 2007 — John answers the popular side's Bush and Tom Brady with ever more famous nerds, poker style. → “and all four Beatles. We win!” (00:01:39)
- 2007-02-26 Brotherhood 2.0: Earwax — Asked to guess what besides hair Hank had removed from his head, pupil Susie offers her family history. → “When my mama came out of jail, she had almost all her teeth taken out.” (00:01:02)
- 2007-02-28 Brotherhood 2.0: Everyone Poops in my Pants, a Picture Book — Each morning dozens of people surround Hank's house and chant. → “What do we want to poop in? Hank's pants! When do we want to poop in them? Now!” (00:00:04)
- 2007-03-08 Brotherhood 2.0: Giving Away Peeps — Asked how he feels after 12 Peeps. → “I feel like I have the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, like, fighting the Ghostbusters in my stomach.” (00:03:17)
- 2007-03-09 Brotherhood 2.0: March 9, 2007: Peeptastic! — Thin eaters need not fear the wall of fat, but John is not thin yet. → “I'm still a heavyweight, according to the International Boxing Federation.” (00:01:43)
- 2007-03-13 Brotherhood 2.0: March 13, 2007: Denver — John plays the arcade games at ESPN Zone. → “ESPN Zone might not be the fastest way to spend $10, but it's the fastest way I've ever encountered.” (00:01:02)
- 2007-03-21 Brotherhood 2.0: March 21st: Put Stuff on Your Head — The song's only safety instruction for putting stuff on your head. → “The only rule of thumb is don't use a plastic bag.” (00:01:24)
- 2007-03-26 March 26th: Stuff on Everyone's Heads! — In a closing clip someone announces they will eat a clove of garlic and admits it kind of hurt. → “I don't think I'm going to be kissing him for quite a long, long time.” (00:02:30)
- 2007-04-05 April 5th: Embarrassing Moment Sock Puppet Theater — Hank's long-haired, slight-framed college roommate is eating Marmite on toast when Hank walks in. → “Oh my, look, it's Catherine.” (00:00:57)
- 2007-04-25 Helen Hunt — Hank's song lists Helen Hunt films: he saw her naked in The Waterdance. → “It was as good as it gets in my pants” (00:01:21)
- 2007-05-23 May 23rd: Miniature Soccer Team — Hank sings that nothing will stop John achieving his one unmatchable dream with Sarah. → “He wants two entire miniature soccer teams from you.” (00:00:39)
- 2007-06-12 June 12th: Hank Green "In the Wild" — John invites Hank to go fishing in the ocean. → “alright, but only if I get to sleep on the boat.” (00:01:07)
- 2007-07-16 July 16: Goth — Doing his makeup on the living-room floor, hoping his lady doesn't walk in, Hank admits he's a weird guy and sings. → “My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.” (00:02:46)
- 2007-07-17 Brotherhood 2.0: July 17: Topless Dancer — John admits the belt for his huge pants is probably a girl belt, then remembers what Hank just did in his punishment. → “I mean, you just wore lipstick.” (00:00:40)
- 2007-07-18 July 18: Accio Deathly Hallows (no spoilers) — Hank measures his devotion to the series. → “I couldn't care more about Harry Potter if Hogwarts was my alma matter” (00:02:53)
- 2007-07-25 July 25: Brotherhood 2.0's Youtube Comments Are Answered! — A commenter whose screen name says he is cool tells John to get a life, nerd. → “Did 656 people before you have the screen name NigelIsCool?” (00:00:50)
- 2007-08-01 August 1: It's Too Hot — After citing a UN figure of 11,000 heat deaths a year, Hank casts the sun as hunting him. → “but the burning sun, it wants 11,001, but it's not gonna get me, you hear?” (00:01:56)
- 2007-08-09 August 9th: Anagramming Guide to the 2008 Elections — After 'lynch a trillion', Hank anagrams Hillary Clinton's full name, then muses whether it refers to the Chinese or her China policy. → “Hillary Rodham Clinton anagrams to China. A mild, horny troll.” (00:02:01)
- 2007-08-14 August 14th: The Blenderized Happy Meal (and Leg Waxing) — John looks at the Happy Meal after blending it. → “Like all the best parts of food plus all the best parts of liquid.” (00:01:30)
- 2007-08-21 August 21: Hairy Hairy Head Hair — Hank's long hair would grow into his brain like Devil's Snare, so he'd cast a light spell. → “But it wouldn't work because there's no way to get light into my brain.” (00:01:23)
- 2007-08-24 August 24th: John's Secret Project Part 2 — A greeter's rhyme warns John that at 30 he'll start getting shorter and his joints will ache, then offers him mercy. → “And since we are so merciful, we'll liquefy a cake.” (00:00:47)
- 2007-08-29 August 29th: Goodbye 29 Year Old John — Hank opens John's birthday song by treating his turning 30 as the death of 29-year-old John. → “The day that you died was a good day.” (00:00:03)
- 2007-09-04 September 4th: Negative Suck Cubed Equals Awesome — Naming a band for each genre, John reaches art rock. → “My art rock band would be called Schrodinger and the Maybe Dead Cats.” (00:01:08)
- 2007-09-05 September 5th: I'm Gonna Kill You — After threatening the express-lane lady with a Mortal Kombat fatality, Hank sings the refrain. → “I'm usually a very peaceful person but I'm gonna kill you.” (00:01:26)
- 2007-10-03 Oct 3rd: Baby I Sold Your Dog On EBay — The narrator explains why the dog had to go rather than his games console. → “it was either him or my playstation 2, which doesn't even eat food and will never ever pee on the duvet” (00:01:22)
- 2007-10-17 October 17th: The Man Who Throws The Tetris Piece — Stacking ever higher with no straight piece in sight, the singer loses his temper at the unseen villain. → “give me a goddamn straight piece!” (00:01:44)
- 2007-12-05 December 5th: The Adorable Cannibal (PG-13) — The narrator tells his partner she looks so good he wants to sprinkle her on his food. → “If I could I would eat you like a five year old eats glue” (00:00:25)
2008 — 20 dominant
- 2008-01-13 Being Weird in the Airport — After doing his weird airport act, Hank remarks on the travellers around him. → “I really have to admire all of these people's ability to completely ignore me.” (00:00:00)
- 2008-01-28 Denver Airport...Via Isengard — In a public airport terminal, Hank lip-syncs the whole 'Hobbits to Isengard' meme song, redoing his earlier airport gag. → “I'm taking the hobbits to Isengard” (00:00:23)
- 2008-02-27 People Who Love Giraffes Who Love Giraffes (The Song) — Hank sings that love can be pretty screwed up. → “Like that homosexual necrophiliac duck” (00:01:28)
- 2008-03-27 PEEPS Eating Contest Is Peepstacular, Painful — Some say not to eat Peeps after Easter because they might go bad, but Peeps are not milk. → “The expiration date on those Peeps that Nerdfighter gave me several weeks ago? November of 2009.” (00:00:42)
- 2008-04-01 Please Google, Take Me to Mars — Hank claims he is good at defusing conflict, e.g. when John sprang the Peeps contest on him. → “I was able to defuse the situation by sticking safety pins into the head of a peep version of my brother.” (00:01:23)
- 2008-05-16 Hank's Punishment (ugh...I don't believe uploading this...) — The punishment turns out to be Hank earnestly singing a bubblegum pop song about online romance. → “I'm a World Wide Web girl in a World Wide Web world” (00:00:59)
- 2008-05-22 Adorable Puppy Injury!!!! — John's puppy Willy appears with his broken foot in a cast. → “So that's why John's excused. Because his puppy has a peg leg.” (00:01:34)
- 2008-06-08 Monkeys!!! (with pants) — Hank's zoo song lists animals from every corner of the world, then the refrain. → “But mostly we just saw monkeys with pants.” (00:01:58)
- 2008-06-27 Marion the Nerdfightarion — Marion, holding the signed book, examines John's signature; Hank's remix loops her verdict. → “It's like J--J, scribble.” (00:01:48)
- 2008-07-10 What Would Captain Picard Do — A nervous new commander frets about failing with the Borg on his tail and gets brushed off by name. → “Wesley. Give me a break.” (00:00:09)
- 2008-08-27 Butte Montana — The song opens by chanting the name of the town, Butte, over and over. → “Oh, Butte, Butte, Butte, Butte” (00:00:00)
- 2008-09-07 This Song is for Willy — The song describes Willy's head tilt at new sounds with a film reference. → “Then he knocks his head to the side like it's night at the Roxbury” (00:00:07)
- 2008-09-21 The Pwning of Oprah — To be sure the Vlogbrothers passed Oprah, John phones a trained mathematician with an MIT PhD for a professional opinion. → “Is the number 41,818 larger than the number 41,365?” (00:01:46)
- 2008-09-26 Obama Llama Song — The Llama Song's counting chorus is rewritten as a pro-Obama campaign chant. → “One Obama, Two Obama, Three Obama, Four Obama, Hot Obama, Vote Barack Obama” (00:00:26)
- 2008-09-29 The Financial Crisis...Simplified — The bank decides how to name the really bad mortgages it is selling. → “which sounds way better than 'Really, Really Bad Mortgages'!” (00:02:06)
- 2008-10-01 The Man Who Throws the Tetris Piece — The video opens with a desperate plea to the unseen Tetris-piece thrower. → “give me a straight piece oh give me a straight piece” (00:00:10)
- 2008-10-14 Numa Numa Hank Dance — Hank wants to show viewers around his new house. → “So I'm going to show you my house while doing a Numa Numa dance.” (00:00:29)
- 2008-10-31 SPWNING Halloween — The spoon-fingered couple's hard life, sung. → “They can hardly eat cereal And they can only type about three words a minute” (00:01:03)
- 2008-11-30 50 Jokes (Yes...actually 50 jokes) — Escalating elephant-killing riddles (blue, red, purple elephants) answered by a second Hank. → “There is no such thing as a purple elephant.” (00:01:06)
- 2008-12-22 A Christmas Song! — Grown-up Jesus's secret Christmas wish, after a childhood without presents. → “he really wants that 24-piece metric drill bit set.” (00:00:35)
2009 — 39 dominant
- 2009-01-03 Giraffe Love and Other Questions ANSWERED — Asked "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" right after the giraffe urine facts, John says yes only if it is how unerotic that is. → “you disgust me.” (00:01:09)
- 2009-01-14 TIny Cars SUCK! — The narrator describes his ideal car. → “all I want's a V8 Hemi weighing 8,000 pounds, if it weighs any, getting two or three gallons to the mile” (00:00:42)
- 2009-01-21 Google Verb! A Meme. — After the bacon-grease result, Hank insists he is not making these up. → “I hope Hank is not a person. I hope Hank is a dog.” (00:01:02)
- 2009-01-28 Stock Adviser (Via Britney) — The chorus of the Britney Spears parody swaps in a financial word. → “Stock Advisor, you are my investment analyzer.” (00:01:01)
- 2009-02-01 Super Bowl Analysis from an Idiot — John wants a team name that celebrates tenacity, reminding opponents they can't stop you, only hope to contain you. → “Like the Arizona herpes.” (00:01:38)
- 2009-02-04 51 Jokes (in Four Minutes) — Darth Vader pulls Luke close and says he knows what Luke is getting for Christmas; Luke asks how. → “I felt your presence” (00:01:55)
- 2009-02-11 A Song About an Anglerfish — Hank sings that the anglerfish, which never feels love's pain, has found happiness: the male just fuses to the female. → “becomes a sperm-producing parasite” (00:01:07)
- 2009-02-18 Fake Movie Talk With A Sock — Next on the list of improvable movies is Paul Blart: Mall Cop. → “Paul Blart Small Cop, and he was a diminutive detective” (00:01:02)
- 2009-02-22 Big Oil RIPS YOU OFF — via Unfair Mathematics — Oil must be mined, shipped, refined and trucked, yet gasoline is cheaper than Fierce Grape Gatorade. → “to produce fierce grape Gatorade, I believe all you have to do is milk purple alligators” (00:00:29)
- 2009-02-25 I Know (A Song in Ten Words) — After a full love song of tangled 'I know / you think / baby' lines, Hank reveals the constraint. → “That song only has ten words in it” (00:01:27)
- 2009-03-11 I'm Not Edward Cullen: A Song — Katherine lists Edward's virtues: protection, century-old investments. → “For a century he saved his virginity for me.” (00:01:07)
- 2009-03-25 Squirrel Attack! — Squirrel names have a vocal part and a tail-movement part; Hank names the song's squirrel. → “And this song is about a squirrel named Scuzzy Kizoozle ... Curl.” (00:00:54)
- 2009-04-01 HANKROLL'd — Viewers expecting Hank's Carrie Bradshaw punishment get a 'Hankroll': he sings the Rick Astley song (costume per the description). → “I'm never gonna give you up” (00:00:17)
- 2009-04-05 The EVIL BABY ORPHANAGE Returns for North Korea — John says he isn't run by a crazy 68-year-old Korean grandmother named Kim Jong-il, then is corrected off-camera. → “Kim Jong-Il is apparently a dude.” (00:01:23)
- 2009-04-16 The Day the YouTubes Died — The 'American Pie' lament retitled for the rumoured YouTube redesign. → “♪ the YouTubes died. ♪” (00:01:00)
- 2009-04-23 DFTBA — A DFTBA backronym verse starts 'It's so damn fine to be alive,' then turns on John. → “Until your dorky, farting, turdface brother arrives.” (00:01:28)
- 2009-04-30 A GOAT GIVING BIRTH — Hank prepares viewers for the sound of the goat birth. → “In my opinion, what you're about to hear sounds like a velociraptor puking.” (00:00:45)
- 2009-05-06 Dead Boy's Girlfriend — The song opens like a standard heartbreak ballad about how love hurts and stories end sadly. → “But what do you do when her boyfriend's dead?” (00:00:00)
- 2009-05-10 What Could You Do with a Poe Bust?! — John plays Wii with the Poe bust and beats him. → “Oh! You just got Edgar Allan Pwned!” (00:00:31)
- 2009-05-27 Open Letters — Hank complains to downtown Boston that its streets defeated his GPS. → “The GPS machine, I think, actually killed itself. It gave up on life because of you.” (00:00:21)
- 2009-06-10 Eating a FAT SANDWICH — Sarah's new fear is that John will like the fat sandwich. → “Baby, make me a fat sandwich! Strawberry flavored, please!” (00:01:47)
- 2009-06-17 The Fathers of the Founding Fathers — Hank challenges listeners to name famous men whose dads were even more awesome than them. → “try to think of more than Jesus and Hank Williams Jr.” (00:00:39)
- 2009-06-24 LOLCat with a Ball Bat — After the swat, the poem lists everything left in the hall. → “sat a lolcat with a ball bat. Alone.” (00:00:30)
- 2009-07-01 Most Subscribed: A Song — Hank notes he left Universal Music Group out of his song about the most-subscribed channels. → “Because as far as I'm concerned, they can all just go eat poop.” (00:00:27)
- 2009-07-11 Chewbacca for President! Let the Wookie Win! — Chewbacca fails the Constitution's natural-born-citizen requirement. → “because he lived a long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.” (00:00:45)
- 2009-07-15 This Isn't Hogwarts! A Harry Potter Song — Public school versus Hogwarts: no talking portraits, teachers who don't care. → “The most magical thing we have is fluorescent lights” (00:00:51)
- 2009-07-21 Twenty Questions and Michael Collins — Hank, already guessed as Perez Hilton, plays 20Q as himself. → “I just play it as me and it thinks I'm Joe Jonas.” (00:01:38)
- 2009-07-23 50 MORE JOKES in FOUR MINUTES — Hank changed a light bulb, crossed the road and walked into a bar in one day. → “and I realized that my entire life is a joke.” (00:01:07)
- 2009-07-30 Mules are so Half-Ass — The chorus of Hank's pun song explains why he hates mules. → “And I really hate mules, cause they're so half-assed.” (00:00:29)
- 2009-08-12 Vegetables that look like Penises — Hank wonders whether the song was his gift to Nerdfighteria for 100,000 subscribers. → “Or possibly it was my punishment to Nerdfighteria for helping us get 100,000 subscribers” (00:01:57)
- 2009-08-18 So Jokes: Video EP — Hank thanks Helen Hunt for a film scene, punning on her film As Good as It Gets. → “It was as good as it gets in my pants” (00:03:43)
- 2009-08-26 DEMOLITION DERBY! — Singing that old cars are ready to say goodbye, Hank borrows the 2009 health-care catchphrase. → “But we can't let a death panel choose how they die” (00:01:23)
- 2009-08-30 100 QUESTIONS ANSWERED!!!!!!! — Asked the running question 'Who the eff is Hank?' → “He's a massive, incandescent gas.” (00:00:32)
- 2009-09-06 How To (Not) Demolish a Wall — Step one: John throws himself against the wall to test, once again, whether he is an octopus. → “Still not an octopus.” (00:01:13)
- 2009-09-09 Television Crime Shows Suck — The song illustrates crime shows' preposterous, never-normal deaths. → “When your drug dealer's aunt killed your mom in a duel by chopping off her head with a scythe in the pool.” (00:00:35)
- 2009-10-14 Customer Service A$$H()¦3s!!!! — Yelling and cursing, Hank tells the agent to go ask the manager for his money back because he's actually a nice guy. → “I hate that you made me yell at you! Go talk to your manager!” (00:02:16)
- 2009-10-21 Balloon Boy: A Short Song — Sung as the boy: the kids at school keep telling him a tale about his dad... → “About how wife swap has a different meaning in jail” (00:01:40)
- 2009-10-28 Mad Science with Dr. Horrible (Hank) — Viewers told to follow a red dot for an eye-tracking study are hit with a jump-scare cat; Hank then apologises that he tricked them. → “Happy Halloween.” (00:01:54)
- 2009-12-30 The STUPIDEST NEWS STORIES of 2009 (a song) — The song complains that the media obsess over Sarah Palin. → “they dispatch a dozen camera crews every time she poos” (00:00:41)
2010 — 17 dominant
- 2010-01-06 15 Hours in Target! — Hank sets John's punishment: face his fear of heights on the Frog Hopper. → “and while you're up there, I want you to tell me you love me.” (00:03:17)
- 2010-01-22 ThisIsNotJohn — Maureen lists the titles Nerdfighters may know her by. → “you may also know me by my most common title which is second prettiest green brother” (00:00:20)
- 2010-03-05 Red Green, the Nintendo, and HANK — John says that putting Blades of Steel in the machine he discovered red poop; well, the poop wasn't actually red, it was brown. → “but it was from Red.” (00:01:57)
- 2010-05-12 Hank Raps about w00tstock...for real — Molly Lewis arrives with her assistant, both with a ukulele, in a riff on a notorious shock video. → “Two girls, one uke, don't fear, it won't make you puke unless you're easily nauseated by things abnormally cute.” (00:00:57)
- 2010-05-19 Adorable Baby Is Adorable — After Daddy can't afford a Pacific isle and defaults on his loan, the lullaby escalates to a whole country. → “Daddy's gonna buy you the Sultanate of Oman” (00:01:42)
- 2010-05-24 How To Make a Baby — Step three: there are several ways, from test tubes to turkey basters, but by far the most common is to have sex. → “Alright, so, that was fun.” (00:01:12)
- 2010-05-28 How To Do Everything — Before tying a tie you must ask yourself whether it is Christmas; if so, wear your Christmas tie. → “And if not, you're still going to want to go with your Christmas tie, because we don't actually know when Jesus was born.” (00:00:00)
- 2010-05-31 Farmville!!!!! A Song — Chorus: down on the farm where the sky is always blue... → “And we never kill the pigs and the cows never poo” (00:00:24)
- 2010-06-02 The Case of the Poopy Nintendo — Hank had motive: John hogged the Nintendo, which is true... → “and also I loved the Nintendo more than I loved you, which is also true.” (00:00:00)
- 2010-08-23 Make-up Tutorial: Katniss Everdeen Look — Applying dark 'dramatic smoky' eyeshadow while unable to see with his eyes closed, Hank reviews the result. → “I look like I've been beaten. With a hose.” (00:02:14)
- 2010-09-02 Fitness for Nerds — John demonstrates his middle-school 'hello' greeting move as a stretch. → “Did not turn out to be a great social strategy” (00:00:58)
- 2010-10-22 Making Adorable Music — After building up his months of learning an instrument to join Hank's band, John reveals the instrument. → “I want to be your sing-a-ma-jig player.” (00:00:29)
- 2010-11-03 Phineas Gage: A Song — Gage shoves the tamping rod onto the blasting powder without the sand. → “his entire left frontal lobe had been turned into clam chowder” (00:00:34)
- 2010-11-17 HARRY POTTER SONG! — Curled up with Twilight in his darkest nights, Hank wonders about Edward. → “Avada Kedavra the undead Cause Edward Carter totally has it coming” (00:02:39)
- 2010-11-29 John and Hank: The Out-Takes — John says the brothers will let Nerdfighteria challenge 'us' to do something horrible. → “And when he says 'us'...I think he just means 'him'.” (00:01:52)
- 2010-12-15 Adult Female: A Song — Right after singing that love hurts worse than fire and makes you want to tear down a building with bare hands, Hank adds a disclaimer. → “And I'm obviously not a big fan of hyperbole.” (00:02:06)
- 2010-12-31 Is Lady Gaga a Man? — Answering the autocomplete 'is my dog gay?', Hank revises his answer twice. → “actually your dog is probably omni-sexual.” (00:01:35)
2011 — 8 dominant
- 2011-01-10 Top 5 Ridiculous Conspiracy Theories — If the years from 614 to 900-something AD never happened, then it isn't really 2011. → “it’s 1714. Makes you feel young again.” (00:01:07)
- 2011-03-04 SHEEN or GADDAFI? — John will translate Gaddafi's quotations from Arabic to make the game challenging. → “"Is it in Arabic?" would be the primary question you would be asking.” (00:00:24)
- 2011-03-23 Why Does My Dog Eat Poop? — Cats believe all organisms are cats, John explains, so when your cat licks you he's thinking: → “I love you gigantic hairless cat, and to show you, I will lick you.” (00:00:37)
- 2011-04-13 31 Jokes for NERDS! — The past, the present and the future all walk into a bar at the same time. → “It was tense.” (00:00:34)
- 2011-04-15 Humpy Hank — Calling it a historical moment, John is reminded of the great poet William Butler Yeats, who famously wrote: → “And what rough Humpy Hank, his hour come round at last, slouches towards Youtube, to be born?” (00:01:48)
- 2011-04-29 Peanut Butter Face Question Tuesday — Asked who the eff Hank is, John answers as if describing a dwarf planet. → “Hank is a Trans-Neptunian object 27 percent more massive than Pluto.” (00:00:51)
- 2011-12-14 Greek Phallic Disco Golf Balls: A Free Association Game — Hank answers John's 'Obelisks' with 'phallus'. → “It's just - all balls and phalluses today, here.” (00:02:20)
- 2011-12-21 2011 Presidential Anagrams!! — Rejecting 'not my merit', Hank picks an anagram for Mitt Romney. → “I think I'm gonna go with Yo, Mr. Mitten, because I've decided that I'm calling him Mr. Mitten from now on.” (00:01:40)
2012 — 9 dominant
- 2012-02-24 CUTE-OCALYPSE! — Hank proposes a cute tax on over-quota viewers, Emergency Puppy followers and Pinterest otter searchers. → “The cute tax will not only help balance our national psyche, it will also help balance our budget.” (00:02:13)
- 2012-03-24 Disgusting Cookies - The 2012 Hungry Games — Hank says he is now the opposite of hungry and would like to take the food out of his body; Michael asks which end. → “-Which end? -Either.” (00:03:35)
- 2012-04-10 A Surreal Descent into Madness: Reviewing Children's TV — Dora asks what John's favorite part was; he says the weirdest part was her camping with a pet jaguar and snacks. → “No, I didn't like it Dora, I thought it was weird. You're a toddler, you should be inside.” (00:00:38)
- 2012-05-29 Nerds at the Beach: A REUNION VIDEO! — John describes Seaside, Florida, where they are on holiday. → “The world capital of teenagers who don't know who we are.” (00:00:20)
- 2012-07-27 Tumblr: The Musical — Scrolling Tumblr, the singer finds the President has joined and reacts like a hipster → “I can't believe Obama's tumbling. Ugh, lame. It's so mainstream.” (00:00:38)
- 2012-08-17 Open Letter to the Wizards — After the wizards' isolationism and their known racists playing politics, the song adds what makes their food → “Yeah, SLAVES making your food!” (00:02:17)
- 2012-09-04 The Five Worst Places to Vomit — After puking into a party host's floor vent, John asks who paid to replace the ducts. → “The puker. In my experience, the puker is held responsible.” (00:01:19)
- 2012-10-05 21st Century Sherlock: A Sherlock / Doors Song — Hank credits Moffat, Jim Morrison, Conan Doyle and Cumberbatch for making the video possible. → “my mom. Wouldn't happen without her.” (00:01:29)
- 2012-11-05 Spicy Summer Camp Story — Describing the novelty hot sauce: named like Satan's revenge, hotness in megatons, coffin-shaped bottles. → “And lists insanity as the first ingredient.” (00:02:42)
2013 — 11 dominant
- 2013-01-04 53 Terrible Jokes! — What do you call a five-foot psychic that's escaped from jail? → “A small medium at large.” (00:00:10)
- 2013-02-26 Cooking with a 3-Year-Old: The Mac & Cheese and Communist Celery Edition — His son refuses peanut butter on his celery; John asks if he's a communist and the boy says yes. → “But you know what, I'm just happy that you're politically engaged at your age” (00:02:29)
- 2013-03-29 Caviar Brownies - The Second Annual Hungry Games — Hank screams 'MY FACE!' after biting into the caviar brownie. → “And Hank won this round.” (00:01:59)
- 2013-04-30 Animals Interrupt Sporting Events: A Critical Analysis — The dog pooping on the baseball field seems to ask which of them is really sentient: you, watching men hit a ball with a stick? → “or me, elegantly articulating my feelings via defecation?” (00:00:58)
- 2013-05-03 17 Rants in 4 Minutes — Hank anticipates being told to buy squeezable ketchup instead of fighting the bottle. → “Yeah, that's perfect if I want to spray some pink ketchup piss all over my fries!” (00:02:28)
- 2013-06-11 How To Be John Green — Answering his own question 'Who the eff is Hank?', Craig defines Hank as a flippered Arctic marine mammal and a movement → “See? I'm hanking right now. Hank you very much.” (00:02:34)
- 2013-06-18 50 Ways to Pretend to Be Smarter — Specific cheese knives would blow cavemen's tiny minds; they cut cheese with rocks → “You know what they didn't have? Cheese.” (00:02:35)
- 2013-07-02 The Perks of Being John's Assistant — Among her normal duties she ghostwrites fan mail from John to Steven Gerrard. → “and by fan mail, I mean love letters.” (00:02:08)
- 2013-07-12 Oh, JK Rowling - A Harry Potter Song — Hank gives Rowling absolute creative freedom, but after careful thought begs her not to make an MMORPG. → “'Cause that would totally destroy my productivity!” (00:01:56)
- 2013-07-16 The Ghost of Teenaged Future — Proud of pulling a metaphor out of a list of teen habits, she is told it was a stretch. → “Excuse you, who do you think I am? John Green?” (00:02:15)
- 2013-12-10 Cooking with a 3-Year-Old: Slobber Carrots and Gross Barbecue — Looking at the cheap Valu Time luncheon loaf label. → “They're so focused on value they didn't even spend the money to print the "e" in value!” (00:00:44)
2014 — 1 dominant
- 2014-01-17 54 JOKES! In Four Minutes! — Hank says kleptomaniacs just don't get puns. → “They always take things, literally.” (00:01:09)
2015 — 8 dominant
- 2015-02-13 Draw My Life + 16 Other Suggestions — For 'Draw my life', Hank shrinks himself from Montana to the known universe, then shows the drawing. → “I drew it.” (00:03:21)
- 2015-03-30 BONUS: We Are All Bat People (Songified Batman Argument) — Hank's reply to John's anti-Batman video becomes the auto-tuned chorus hook. → “John, we are all bat-people.” (00:00:11)
- 2015-04-24 Mother Pheasant Plucker - A Song — The pheasant plucker insists on how pleasant his work is, the refrain built to make listeners mishear a swear. → “A pleasant mother pheasant plucker like me say the F-word” (00:01:00)
- 2015-05-08 QUADRAGOCON 2015 - WHO WILL WIN! — Asked how he likes his chances, John says 'medium'. → “I mean, if I were up against anyone but you, I wouldn't like them at all.” (00:00:10)
- 2015-05-22 15 Rants in Four Minutes — Hank rants about slow, homemade in-car software in new cars. → “Congratulations on making a brand new car feel like a first generation iPhone.” (00:02:30)
- 2015-06-23 Question Tuesday with Cara Delevingne and Nat Wolff — After John mispronounces the band Haim as 'Ham' and Nat corrects him, Cara imagines one member going solo. → “she'd be called "Haim Solo"” (00:01:27)
- 2015-08-25 Question Tuesday: The Goat Edition — Asked how they'd split seven goats, John insists he gets four; Hank offers him all seven. → “Wait, I've rethought my answer. I would like to give you the seven goats.” (00:03:02)
- 2015-11-18 SUIT UP! A Very Fancy Reunion Video (Pizzamas Day 8) — After insisting no one knows what dinosaurs sounded like, John squawks an impression anyway and names the species. → “That was a diplodocus.” (00:01:13)
2016 — 7 dominant
- 2016-01-15 Eating Weird Food from the 50s (with Katherine) — Hank asks Katherine to name the chop suey, which is inspired by both Chinese and Mexican food. → “It's like uhh Cleveland...Chowder” (00:02:43)
- 2016-02-09 Water in My Cereal: Taste Testing Various Liquid Accompaniments to Raisin Bran — Having noted Raisin Bran has more calories, sugar and sodium than Lucky Charms, John concludes about Lucky Charms → “Speaking of which, I also picked up some Lucky Charms, because it turns out it's healthy.” (00:00:55)
- 2016-04-08 47 YouTubers Laugh Without Smiling — Hank tells a laughing guest he likes how dead their eyes are. → “I want all girlfriends to tell me that after dates.” (00:00:35)
- 2016-06-10 Hank Roasts Himself Diss Track - Roast Yourself Challenge — Hank explains how he seems so knowledgeable on his educational channels. → “thanks to a teleprompter, I get to pretend that I know everything about the standard model and philosophy. but mostly I'm just reading.” (00:01:20)
- 2016-06-28 New Iceland — The tour guide's script claims Iceland's weather is mild year-round. → “And then we got off the bus and that August afternoon it was perhaps half a degree above freezing.” (00:01:04)
- 2016-11-14 Who the Eff Is Hank? — Craig claims his earlier impression of John was well received and cites Roger Ebert saying two thumbs up → “several times throughout his career about other things.” (00:00:19)
- 2016-12-23 41 Dad Jokes in 4 Minutes! (with special guest star...) — Now that Hank has a son, people might say he has a dad bod → “but I'd rather call it a "father figure."” (00:00:12)
2017 — 10 dominant
- 2017-01-27 Screaming for Four Minutes Straight (with WheezyWaiter) — Hank has always wanted to be punched by a Wheezy clone; Craig returns 'as a clone' → “Finally my dreams are coming true.” (00:01:47)
- 2017-02-10 Valentines Candy Taste Test with Hank and Katherine — Katherine imagines a Clue piece inside a truffle kiss: Professor Poop, in the bathroom, with toilet paper → “Toilet paper murders!?” (00:02:34)
- 2017-02-17 As Cold as The Milk: Learning Spanish with Luzu — Trying the English tongue twister 'I slit the sheet', Luzu mispronounces 'sheet' → “I slit the sh*t” (00:02:21)
- 2017-03-03 PUNISHED: Blenderized Audience Choice: LIVE! — After sniffing the blend before Hank drinks it, a co-host (unlabelled; not Hank) wishes for smell-o-vision → “and we could just pump the whole auditorium full of what I just smelled.” (00:02:26)
- 2017-03-14 Green Brothers Reunited! — Asked which Pokémon could keep a steady job, Hank imagines Charizard managing a Wendy's when the grill breaks → “Oh my God, he can cook the burgers!” (00:01:21)
- 2017-04-25 Pokemon, Reviewed by a Dad Who Knows Nothing about Pokemon — John asked his son what the Professor does with transferred Pokémon → “Dad, Pokémons do not like going to the professor.” (00:01:41)
- 2017-06-23 Reviewing Musicals from their Wikipedia Pages — Hank coins 'black file' for an erased recording, then searches the term to check. → “It's a nail salon.” (00:03:02)
- 2017-10-31 Where are Whale Balls? Question Tuesday: Pizza Edition — John imagines being swept down a whale's blood vessel into a junction; Hank asks if whales have nuts. → “No, in my nuts.” (00:02:19)
- 2017-11-01 Pizza Cocktails with John and Hank! — The brothers raise a toast with a shot of plain bubbly water. → “Here's to Willis Carrier.” (00:02:24)
- 2017-11-02 Hank Reviews Everything — Praising the durability of orange traffic cones. → “and yet, they cost less than a gin and tonic in Manhattan.” (00:00:59)
2018 — 6 dominant
- 2018-05-29 How to Cook Eight Peas — To massage the peas, John tries to fit as many as possible into a pea mustache. → “But my favorite way is to try to see how many peas I can fit in a pea mustache.” (00:01:21)
- 2018-08-24 The Top 10 John Green GIFs — Hank explains why we rarely see John's happy dance these days. → “Not because you aren't happy, of course, but because you're old.” (00:00:56)
- 2018-09-25 You Did It! — John breaks down laughing before finishing 'Roses are red, I'm not a hero'. → “Gas leak at Cyber Goth Rave kills zero.” (00:01:27)
- 2018-09-28 REUNION!!! Mountain Goats Aren't Goats — Hank calls John a mountain goat fan, not a billy goat fan, then claims mountain goats aren't goats. → “I don't think mountain goats are actually goats. Shut your mouth.” (00:00:42)
- 2018-11-05 Reading Mean Comments with John — Told that James Potter died at 21 and was never middle-aged, John claims the role. → “There was never a middle-aged James Potter. That never happened. Until me.” (00:01:34)
- 2018-12-14 Cute Goth Shock Collar Trivia Punishment for Charity — Katherine's comment on the photo of Hank's punishment makeup from last year. → “the worst. Keep bringing me back to fuel your nightmares.” (00:00:29)
2019 — 6 dominant
- 2019-02-15 The Most Bizarre Stock Photos I Could Find Brought to Life by Your Captions — A stock photo is captioned as a disappointing Tinder date at the beach. → “Look, Steven, I'm just gonna say it. You really don't look, uh, very much like your Tinder profile pic.” (00:00:25)
- 2019-08-09 Decluttering the Somewhat Embarrassing Nightstand of a 39 Year-Old Best-Selling Author — Hank finds a fart noise machine in his nightstand. → “John, I'm a 39-year-old man and I can't bring myself to throw away a fart noise machine. It doesn't even have batteries.” (00:01:18)
- 2019-09-20 Why Does Australia... (this video is bad, I'm sorry) — Hank assumes 'the fairies' are ferries, then finds the children's franchise → “oh my god it's not a boat this is way better than psych rock” (00:02:36)
- 2019-11-08 Trolling Through John's YouTube History...GUESS WHAT I FOUND!? — Hank's suspicion confirmed: John's history is full of vending machine business videos. → “First one, should I quit my vending machine business? I knew it! I knew it!” (00:01:27)
- 2019-11-29 My Most Controversial Opinion — Asked for a dumb controversial opinion, Hank finally offers one. → “Butt... is legs.” (00:01:17)
- 2019-12-31 Project for Awesome 2019 Recap (BUTT IS LEGS) — In the livestream debate over Hank's 'butt is legs' opinion, a participant gives the medical verdict → “From a medical standpoint, butt is definitely legs. Anatomically, butt is legs.” (00:00:32)
2020 — 2 dominant
- 2020-12-04 The Christmas Creature — The asking bird test: you must tell the truth because the creature can hear lies. → “The Christmas creature can hear your lies and watch you through your own dog's eyes.” (00:01:00)
- 2020-12-11 The /W/orst Letter — Hank's pet theory for why printers doubled U rather than V. → “So using two U's all the time would use up all of their U's.” (00:02:58)
2021 — 6 dominant
- 2021-01-01 In 1990 I Made a Bunch of Predictions About 2020...Here they Are — Hank reads the 2012 prediction of superior fish beings. → “I don't know what they do, but they are there. They exist.” (00:03:13)
- 2021-02-19 Bean Meme Review — Hank says viewers think the picture behind him is Perseverance's first image of Mars → “Close! The beans didn't stop!” (00:00:24)
- 2021-06-18 QUADRAGOCON 2021!! LET THE GAMES CONTINUE!!!! — After the draw Hank tells John who the real winner is → “Everyone besides us.” (00:03:23)
- 2021-08-20 Question Tuesday Except I'm an AI — Asked whom it would turn into a pelican, the AI picks a royal → “I'd like to turn Prince Harry into a pelican because he can dance like one.” (00:02:24)
- 2021-10-19 Cat Names: The Authoritative Guide — For a regal human name, John upgrades plain Philip. → “Philip VII, Sovereign of Bavaria and God-King of the Lesser Realms, Green” (00:01:27)
- 2021-12-07 Reading Hank's Decade-Old Tweets — Hank's tweet says his research shows there is no abominable snowman → “I think he's totally bominable.” (00:03:10)
2022 — 10 dominant
- 2022-03-04 The 2022 P4A Meme Review!!! — Hank recalls a balloon telling him to be a crab and to be good at it → “so i had to ask everybody very earnestly if i was a good crab and they seemed to agree that i was” (00:02:34)
- 2022-05-10 An Attempt at Exhausting an Artwork in Cincinnati — Asking whether one thinks of Cincinnati when one thinks of wanderlust, John weighs where the canvas would work. → “I just think maybe the wanderlust canvas plays in southern France, but does it play in southern Ohio?” (00:01:27)
- 2022-07-08 Sad COVID Boy Hank Green Eats Foods He Hates but Can't Taste — Hank, who hates black licorice, bites into a big hunk without his sense of smell → “Oh, absolutely fantastic. I hate black licorice. This is great.” (00:00:57)
- 2022-07-26 Has this artist ever seen a baby? — John judges Botticelli's babies. → “Botticelli, I think, saw a baby once years ago, but he's never seen a baby throw up on anyone.” (00:00:58)
- 2022-08-16 cars vs. covid — Having said 'squid' for 'squad', John compares the slip with his most famous written line. → “it's not nearly as good as the smartest car in the squid” (00:00:27)
- 2022-10-03 Let's Play Trombone Champ! — Hank starts his first Let's Play in ages and the recording fails at once. → “Not enough disk space to record.” (00:00:00)
- 2022-10-04 Hank and John Reunited at Last — From beach and picnic, John says ocean and Hank says blanket; the brothers argue about how there can be a picnic in the ocean. → “What do you think being lost at sea is? It's an ocean picnic.” (00:00:29)
- 2022-10-05 Asking an AI Image Generator for Pizza Johns — Hank shows the first AI result for 'pizza John', a devastating pizza person. → “Because AIs only have nightmares.” (00:00:29)
- 2022-11-08 Dr Pepper Enthusiast John Green Taste Tests Dr Pepper and Its Misbegotten Pretenders — After condemning the too-cherry sample as all wrong, John stakes his career on his palate → “By the way, if that's Dr. Pepper, I retire. I retire from public life.” (00:01:48)
- 2022-12-30 This Boba Lid Lied to Me and I Don't Understand Why — The lid once said 120 degrees and a pedant complained, so they fixed it → “And so, they lowered it to an also impossible temperature!” (00:02:55)
2023 — 2 dominant
- 2023-02-24 The P4A 2023 is The Hottest Club on the Internet — Hank's gift-wrapped day-one Peeps are opened and eaten by his son at John's house → “Sound financial decisions.” (00:00:29)
- 2023-05-26 My Cancer Press Tier List — Hank lists things you get to do only once in a lifetime. → “one of those things is making a tier list of articles about your cancer diagnosis” (00:00:00)
2024 — 4 dominant
- 2024-02-23 The Juiciest Hank in the World — Asked whether he'd rather be the juiciest or driest Hank in the world, Hank picks juicy. → “Average Hank, even average any human, is far juicier than they are dry.” (00:00:42)
- 2024-05-17 John and Hank FIGHT FOR DOMINANCE!!! — Trailing two to one, Hank says even a tie would be a triumph. → “Yeah, but tie would be a huge win for me against a word guy.” (00:04:32)
- 2024-05-20 Hang on tight, spider monkey, it's the P4A 2024 MEME REVIEW!! — Hank recalls donating $5,000 to push Jared ahead in the mascot poll, then forgetting to vote. → “i just donated the money it was fine” (00:07:53)
- 2024-12-27 Cats are Better than Dogs, I Proved It. (PG-13) — Hank's dachshund famously pooped in the Nintendo. → “which does seem like something that a child did and then blamed on a dog, but I don't remember” (00:00:59)
2025 — 3 dominant
- 2025-07-15 LLAMAS Are NOT What You Think — Asked why he won't ride horses, John fears merging with the animal like a male anglerfish. → “I worry that I might become a centaur.” (00:02:06)
- 2025-09-16 Don’t tell John. Let him have this. — Hank says John thinks his new video will reach four million subscribers, but he doubts it. → “so if you could just subscribe real quick, that'd be great.” (00:00:00)
- 2025-09-19 Let's Just Be Stupid For a Moment — The texted YouTuber refuses to pick a brother → “Hey, I can't play favorite, so I'll respond.” (00:02:16)
2026 — 1 dominant
- 2026-07-08 Project for Awesome Recap Video 2026!! — Misnaming the event the 2027 Project for Awesome, Hank claims to John they skipped a year → “I don't know if you know this, John, but we skipped a year.” (00:00:59)