How To (Not) Demolish a Wall

2009-09-06 · list · John · 3:23 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Personal life · mode: Comedy & performance · tags: community lore

At the start of a big home renovation, John comically teaches 'how not to demolish a wall' in six steps (the Octopus, calling Gorbachev, calling Dad, a crowbar, rage, checking for live wiring) and declares himself an epic fail.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — John and the Yeti begin a home renovation; the contractor says anyone can demolish a wall; John's unique talent is failing to

• ★★ John and the Yeti are beginning a big home renovation, part of which replaces the moldy basement walls. — 00:00:01 · Sarah Urist Green
• ★★ The contractor recommended John tear down the wall himself, since it takes a professional to build a wall but anybody can demolish one. — 00:00:09
• ★★ A week later, John says with mock pride he can do what no one can: fail at demolishing a wall, and will teach how in six steps. (playful) — 00:00:20

00:00:45 — Six steps: the Octopus, calling Gorbachev, calling Dad, the crowbar, getting angry (Hulk smash) and a nap, checking for live wiring

• ★★ Step one, the Octopus: John throws himself against the wall, as he once did to find out whether he was an octopus; he still isn't. (playful) — 00:00:45
• ★★ Step three: Dad said John needed a crowbar; John, likening crowbars to handguns, resisted but was eventually convinced to buy one. (playful) — 00:01:35 · Mike Green
• ★★ John tried the crowbar for about an hour and a half, then got angry and hit the wall, making the holes seen in it, then took a nap. (playful) — 00:02:00
• ★★ Finally John checked for live electrical wiring where he had been swinging his steel crowbar, and found there is some. (playful) — 00:02:33

00:02:42 — Recap, 'proud and epic fail', see you Tuesday; crowbar cane dance

• ★★ Recapping the six steps, John declares himself a proud and epic fail, and teases that only time will tell whether Hank will see the wall on Tuesday. (playful) — 00:02:42 · Epic fail

Humor (dominant)

• Step one: John throws himself against the wall to test, once again, whether he is an octopus. — 00:01:13

  “Still not an octopus.”

• Step two of tearing down the wall: phoning former Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev. — 00:01:19

  “Oh, hi Mr. Gorbachev? Tear down that wall!”

• Dad says he needs a crowbar; John feels crowbars are like handguns. — 00:01:42

  “but I don't really feel like I need one unless I'm a career criminal.”

• Step six, best saved for the very end: check for live wiring where you've been swinging the steel crowbar. — 00:02:33

  “Which as it turns out, there is.”

Threads in this video

• told · John's house renovation and flooded basement (2009) — John and the Yeti begin a large home renovation, replacing moldy basement walls; John fails to demolish a wall himself. (00:00:01)
• callback · John throws himself against a wall to prove he's not an octopus (2008) — John recalls once throwing himself against a wall to find out if he was an octopus, and does it again as step one. (00:00:52)

Where the stories that moved here went next

• John's house renovation and flooded basement (2009) — followed over 7 videos (2009); last: update, 2009-10-18

Mentioned

Epic fail · Hulk · Indiana · Mike Green · Mikhail Gorbachev · Russia · Sarah Urist Green · Tear down this wall!

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