13 SEVERED HANDS! (1)
2009-09-30 (said on 2009-10-01 — implied: date said in the video; uploaded -1 days later) · list · Hank · 3:44 · watch on YouTube
Topic: Pop culture · mode: Curiosity & trivia
Prompted by John's video in which Willy chewed the arm off a Chewbacca figure, Hank walks chronologically through every hand removal of a major character in the Star Wars films, noting that those who cut off hands tend to lose their own.
What is said
The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).
00:00:00 — Reply to John's Willy-chewed-Chewbacca video; Hank as a connoisseur of Star Wars hand removal; plan to go through every major-character hand removal
- ★★ Hank says watching John's video from a couple of weeks ago, where Willy chewed the arm off Chewbacca, reminded him that he used to be a connoisseur of Star Wars hand removal. (playful) — 00:00:01 · Willy, John Green
- ★★ Hank says there are a lot of hands removed in Star Wars: characters with only two hands have their hands chopped off three times. (playful) — 00:00:20 · also in: 13 SEVERED HANDS! (2)
- ★★ Hank says Chewbacca was always supposed to rip people's arms out of their sockets but never did, and kept both his hands through all the movies. — 00:00:31
- ★★★ Hank will walk through every hand removal of a major character in the Star Wars movies, noting more in minor battle scenes and many more in the books. — 00:00:43
- ★★ Hank says that, unlike some Star Wars purists, he considers the prequels to be Star Wars movies, so he goes chronologically. — 00:00:53 · also in: 13 SEVERED HANDS! (2)
00:00:58 — Prequels: Phantom Menace (none), Attack of the Clones (bar jerk, Anakin), Revenge of the Sith (Dooku, Grievous, Mace Windu, Anakin)
- ★★ Hank calls The Phantom Menace arguably the worst live-action Star Wars movie ever; no hands are removed in it. (playful, hedged) — 00:00:58
- ★★ Hank says Attack of the Clones, a much better movie, opens with Obi-Wan Kenobi cutting off the hand of a jerk with a gun in a bar, and later Count Dooku cuts off Anakin Skywalker's hand. (playful) — 00:01:07
- ★★★ Hank points out a theme: in Star Wars, whoever cuts off someone's hand has a good chance of getting their own hand chopped off too. (playful) — 00:01:24
- ★★ Hank says Revenge of the Sith, a very good movie, is the peak of hand removal: Count Dooku loses both hands, and four-handed General Grievous loses only two. (playful) — 00:01:30
- ★★ Hank says Anakin Skywalker cuts off Mace Windu's arm, having chopped off three hands in that one movie while losing only one himself. (playful) — 00:01:58
- ★★ Hank says that when Anakin turns evil, Obi-Wan Kenobi cuts off both his legs and one of his hands, leaving Anakin with one hand, a robotic one. (playful) — 00:02:09
00:02:21 — Original trilogy: C-3PO, bar arm, the snow beast, Luke's hand, Vader's third hand; Vader in the books and comics
- ★★ Hank says in A New Hope C-3PO's arm is yanked off by a Tusken Raider (off screen), and Obi-Wan cuts off a second gun-wielding arm in a bar. — 00:02:21
- ★★★ Hank says in The Empire Strikes Back Luke cuts off the arm of the giant snow beast that captured him, then Luke loses his own hand, one of the most memorable scenes in film history. (playful) — 00:02:32
- ★★ Hank says Return of the Jedi has one hand removal: Luke cuts off Darth Vader's third hand, then sees its wires and feels his own bionic hand. (playful) — 00:03:00
- ★★ Hank says that counting the comic books and books, Darth Vader has his hands chopped off no less than five times. — 00:03:08
00:03:28 — Being a Jedi too dangerous; 'your life is so much better'; sign-off
- ★ Hank concludes that being a Jedi sounds cool but is far too dangerous a line of work for him. (playful) — 00:03:28 · also in: 13 SEVERED HANDS! (2)
Humor (significant)
-
Hank notes no hands are cut off in The Phantom Menace. — 00:01:04
“obviously this is a bad movie!”
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General Grievous has four hands but loses only two, which always made Hank angry. — 00:01:55
“If you're gonna give somebody four hands, ya might as well cut off all four!”
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Luke cuts off the snow beast's arm, and Hank scolds him using the hand-removal karma theme. — 00:02:47
“because you know now Luke's gonna get his hand chopped off.”
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Hank shrugs off the reconciliation of Luke and Vader at the end of Return of the Jedi. — 00:03:24
“no more hands get chopped off, so as far as I'm concerned, that's the end”
Threads in this video
- first use · Severed hands in Star Wars: Hank's count of 13, revisited in John's 'Zero Severed Hands' (2016) — Hank will walk through every hand removal of a major character in the Star Wars movies, noting more in minor battle scenes and many more in the books. (00:00:43)
Where the stories that moved here went next
- Severed hands in Star Wars: Hank's count of 13, revisited in John's 'Zero Severed Hands' (2016) — running joke (last seen 2016); last: callback, 2016-01-12
Mentioned
Central: Darth Vader · Luke Skywalker · Star Wars
Also: Works: Return of the Jedi · Star Wars (film) · Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace · Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones · Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith · The Empire Strikes Back
Characters: C-3PO · Chewbacca · Count Dooku · General Grievous · Jedi · Mace Windu · Obi-Wan Kenobi · Sith · Tusken Raiders · Wampa
animal: Willy
Only in the description or credits: Run Leia Run
Also centred on Darth Vader: 13 SEVERED HANDS! (2)
Also centred on Luke Skywalker: 13 SEVERED HANDS! (2)
Also centred on Star Wars: 13 SEVERED HANDS! (2) · Disney Buys Star Wars and DFTVA! · The Myth Reawakens · Zero Severed Hands: On Star Wars and Making Things
Replies to
- continues · My Puppy's SECRET SHAME (and Paper Towns) — “I was just watching a video of yours that you made a couple weeks ago,”
Later videos replying to this one
- 2009-10-04 · NERD ALERT: Presidential Last Words (John) — continues — “So your video about the thirteen severed hands of Star Wars” (00:00:01)
- 2016-01-12 · Zero Severed Hands: On Star Wars and Making Things (John) — continues (callback on Severed hands in Star Wars: Hank's count of 13, revisited in John's 'Zero Severed Hands' (2016)) — John recalls Hank's video counting at least thirteen severed hands in the first six Star Wars films, and finds none in The Force Awakens (title: 'Zero Severed Hands'). (00:00:32)