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Eyelash Malaria

2009-12-13 · letter vlog · John · 3:43 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Global development (also: Personal life) · mode: Advocacy & fundraising · tags: calendar ritual, fundraising ask, civic or action cta, community lore

John argues that market-driven drug companies pour money into eyelash-growth drugs like Latisse while neglecting malaria, whose cure would grow the world economy; he pledges a P4A malaria video and asks Nerdfighters to vote for a Nerdfighter's eyelash-contest entry to fund a Heifer ark.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Broken camcorder, iSight, Paisley shirt and fear of punishment; eyelash drugs like Latisse introduced

  • ★★ John says his camcorder doesn't work despite everything he tried, so he is filming on the iSight camera, which can't follow him when he moves. — 00:00:01
  • ★ John says he perseveres mainly for fear of further punishment, and takes off his Paisley shirt so Hank isn't punished by looking at it. (playful) — 00:00:01 · Punishment
  • ★★ John mockingly presents a new drug, Latisse, and many other eyelash products as treatments for the 'public health problem' of unluscious eyelashes. (playful) — 00:00:01

00:00:44 — Eyelash research vs malaria research: the free market underfunds malaria, a drain on the world economy; Bill Gates and Ashton Kutcher

  • ★★ John says the 2000s were a great decade for eyelash research but not good at researching drugs for malaria. (playful) — 00:00:44 · malaria
  • ★★★ John argues that as long as drug companies are driven solely by the free market, too much money goes to eyelash research and too little to malaria research. — 00:00:44 · capitalism, malaria
  • ★★★ John argues real free-market economics calls for much more malaria research, since malaria drains the world economy more than Wall Street bankers or the foreclosure crisis. — 00:01:13 · malaria
  • ★★ John says malaria causes billions of lost work hours because it requires long-term care and often results in long-term disability. — 00:01:13 · malaria
  • ★★★ John argues a malaria cure would not profit its maker as quickly as an eyelash drug, but its profits would rise long-term as the world economy grew; the free market isn't forward-thinking enough to see this. — 00:01:42 · capitalism, malaria
  • ★★ John says Bill Gates, and even Ashton Kutcher, are smart enough to see this; Kutcher gave $100,000 against malaria this year (2009). — 00:01:42 · malaria

00:02:05 — P4A malaria video; a Nerdfighter's eyelash-contest entry to fund a Heifer ark; 'win kitty'

  • ★★★ John says that this year (2009) in the Project for Awesome he will make a video in support of malaria research, joking that it's because curing malaria will make him rich. — 00:02:05 · Project for Awesome, malaria
  • ★★ John says that as long as corporations are flush with eyelash money, we should take it from them. (playful) — 00:02:05
  • ★★★ John says a noted Nerdfighter and YouTuber is in an eyelash company's $100,000 giveaway; if she wins, most goes to college and some to Heifer.org to buy an ark. — 00:02:05
  • ★★ John recalls that every Christmas he gives Hank a goat from Heifer.org that goes to someone in need; an ark is a whole set of animals for people who need them. — 00:02:35
  • ★ John declares that 'win kitty' should be a word and asks Nerdfighters what it should mean. (playful) — 00:02:35 · win kitty

00:02:58 — Voting instructions until December 21; P4A thumbnail on the Ning; Question Tuesday announced; pants; sign-off

  • ★★★ John asks Nerdfighteria to go to tinyurl.com/winkitty and comment on and rate the video, counting as two votes, every day until December 21st, to get the ark. — 00:02:58 · Nerdfighteria, win kitty
  • ★★ John tells Nerdfighters to get their commenting and rating fingers ready for the Project for Awesome; a thumbnail for P4A videos can now be downloaded at the Ning. — 00:02:58 · Project for Awesome, Nerdfighter Ning
  • ★★ John says he will do a Question Tuesday on Tuesday, with half the questions on the Project for Awesome and half on relationship advice. — 00:02:58 · Question Tuesday, Project for Awesome
  • ★★ John asks viewers to leave questions about the Project for Awesome and Nerdfighter-like dating in the comments. — 00:02:58 · nerdfighterlike (coinage), Project for Awesome
  • ★ John notes he pointed at his pants but wants the questions left in the comments, not in his pants. (joke) — 00:03:27 · in your pants

Humor (significant)

  • John mock-celebrates the drug industry's eyelash achievements. — 00:00:44

    “I would argue that the 2000s have been the greatest decade in the history of luscious eyelash research.”

  • Listing drains on the world economy, John adds Tiger Woods' infidelity. — 00:01:13

    “which could actually single-handedly put golf into a recession”

  • Announcing his P4A malaria video, John disclaims altruism. — 00:02:05

    “if we can cure malaria, I'll be rich.”

  • After asking for questions in comments, John catches himself pointing at his pants. — 00:03:27

    “I don't want you to leave them in my pants.”

Threads in this video

Where the stories that moved here went next

Mentioned

Central: malaria · Project for Awesome

Also: People: Ashton Kutcher · Bill Gates · Meekakitty · Tiger Woods

Projects: Nerdfighter Ning

Organizations: Heifer International

Rituals: Punishment · Question Tuesday

Terms: in your pants · nerdfighterlike (coinage) · win kitty

Concepts: capitalism

Events: 2007–2008 financial crisis

Products: iSight · Latisse

Later videos replying to this one