How To Make a Baby
2010-05-24 · list · John · 2:22 · watch on YouTube
Topic: Personal life · mode: Comedy & performance · tags: recurring series
For How-to Week's most common request, John gives a comic seven-step guide to making a baby, drawn from his own new parenthood: sleepless nights, pregnancy, birth and a lot of crying.
What is said
The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).
00:00:00 — Monday of How-to Week: John answers the most common request, how to make a baby
- ★★ John says it is Monday of How-to Week and he is fulfilling the most common request received: how to make a baby, one of his 'fields of expertise'. — 00:00:00
00:00:12 — The seven steps: meet a baby, night wakings, sex, pregnancy, birth, the baby cries, you cry
- ★★ John jokes that making a baby is not the one-step process some people claim, particularly for a dude, but a seven-step process. (playful) — 00:00:12
- ★★ John argues that whether you find babies cute is not necessarily relevant to whether you'll enjoy having a baby. (hedged) — 00:00:42
- ★★ Step two, as a mock drill: wake every two hours, 24 hours a day for two weeks, to listen to a baby cry for 20 minutes, with no breaks. (playful) — 00:00:47
- ★ Step three: there are several ways, from test tubes to turkey basters, but by far the most common is to have sex. (playful) — 00:01:06
- ★★ Step four: a pregnant woman gives up sushi, caffeine, alcohol and go-karts and vomits all the time; John jokes the person he loves most was less cranky when she drank coffee. (playful) — 00:01:12 · Sarah Urist Green
- ★★ Step five: for the person giving birth it is the hardest-core thing they will ever do; for the other partner it's time to say 'you're doing awesome' and faint. (playful) — 00:01:39
- ★ Steps six and seven: the baby cries, then you cry, and crying minutes in your house rise dramatically; then wearing your zombie unicorn hat becomes socially inappropriate. (playful) — 00:01:52
00:02:10 — More how-to videos this week: asks for suggestions; goes to do daddy stuff; sign-off
- ★★ John tells Nerdfighters the brothers are doing more how-to videos this week (week of 24 May 2010) and asks for suggestions in the comments of what to teach them. — 00:02:10 · Nerdfighteria
- ★ John signs off because he has to go upstairs and do 'daddy stuff'. — 00:02:16
Humor (dominant)
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Step three: there are several ways, from test tubes to turkey basters, but by far the most common is to have sex. — 00:01:12
“Alright, so, that was fun.”
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Step five: if you are not the person giving birth, this would be a great time to say… — 00:01:50
“"You're doing awesome." and then, faint.”
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Step six: the baby cries. — 00:01:52
“Step 7: You cry”
Threads in this video
- launched · Vlogbrothers How-to Week: a week of how-to videos (2010) — John opens How-to Week: 'It's Monday of How-to Week'. (00:00:00)
- result reported · Hank asks viewers to suggest topics for How-to Week videos (2010) — John answers the most common How-to Week request received: how to make a baby. (00:00:01)
- mentioned · John and Sarah (the Yeti) are expecting a baby (2009) — John jokingly recalls the pregnancy: his partner gave up coffee, vomited a lot and was crankier. (00:01:34)
- reminder · Hank asks viewers to suggest topics for How-to Week videos (2010) — John asks again for suggestions of what viewers would like the brothers to teach in How-to Week. (00:02:13)
Where the stories that moved here went next
- Hank asks viewers to suggest topics for How-to Week videos (2010) — reported back; last: reminder, 2010-05-24
- Vlogbrothers How-to Week: a week of how-to videos (2010) — last documented in 2010; last: looked back, 2010-05-28
Mentioned
Later videos replying to this one
- 2010-05-26 · How to Be Green Without Being a Prick (Hank) — continues — “Thank you for your wonderful video on how to make a baby.” (00:00:00)