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Giraffe Sex: A Terrifying Introduction to Nature at Work (and Play)

2010-10-19 (said on 2010-10-18 — implied: date said in the video; uploaded 1 day later) · explainer · John · 3:54 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Science & nature · mode: Explainer · tags: self promotion, community lore

Formerly titled Giraffe Love: A Terrifying Introduction to Nature at Work (and Play).

John, plugging Hank's giraffe-love t-shirt, explains that real giraffe mating is profoundly non-romantic (promiscuity, mostly male-male sex, urine tasting, seconds-long coitus) and concludes the animal kingdom is rarely as romantic as we would like, though necking is partly hugging.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — The channel's most viewed videos feature giraffe sex, yet they never made a video about it

  • ★★ John says the three most viewed Vlogbrothers videos all feature giraffe sex, yet the brothers have never actually made a video about giraffe sex, which he will now fix. (playful) — 00:00:01 · Vlogbrothers

00:00:19 — Hank's tweeted giraffe-love image becomes a t-shirt on pre-order at DFTBA.com

00:00:38 — Giraffe mating: promiscuity, a Yahoo Answers question, bisexuality figures, flehmen, courtship, coitus and pregnancy

  • ★★★ John says Hank's illustration of giraffe love may be adorable, but it belies the truth: giraffe mating is profoundly non-romantic. — 00:00:38
  • ★★ John says giraffes are extremely promiscuous and rarely mate with the same partner twice. (playful) — 00:00:47
  • ★ John reads a Yahoo Answers question asking whether male giraffes are gay and would be interested in male humans, and despairs at the internet's disturbing questions. (playful) — 00:01:00
  • ★★★ John says almost all male giraffes are bisexual: researchers believe 90% of giraffe sex is male-male and 1% female-female, so only about 9% is heterosexual. — 00:01:23
  • ★★ John says giraffe mating involves flehmen: males smack females' bottoms with their faces to make them urinate, then drink the urine to tell whether they are ovulating. (playful) — 00:01:53
  • ★★ John says courtship is mostly the male trying to mount and the female running away; coitus lasts up to several seconds and pregnancy lasts 400 days. (playful) — 00:02:24

00:02:54 — Conclusion: nature is rarely romantic; necking as hugging; the shirt as an oversimplification for Henry

  • ★★★ John concludes that the animal kingdom is rarely as romantic as we would like it to be. — 00:02:54
  • ★★ John says giraffes neck a lot; biologists long thought it was fighting, but while it sometimes is, it is also kind of a way of hugging. (hedged) — 00:02:58
  • ★★ John says Hank's shirt isn't a lie, just an oversimplification, and jokes he will use it to tell Henry baby giraffes come from the heart between necking giraffes. (playful) — 00:03:09 · Henry Green, Hank Green

00:03:40 — Thanks and a compliment to Hank for the design; sign-off

  • ★ John thanks Hank for designing the shirt and says Hank's designs always remind him that Hank is talented, about as close as brothers get to complimenting each other. — 00:03:40

In the description and comments

  • ★ The description says giraffe-love shirt pre-orders stay open for two more weeks and the shirts ship in the first week of November. — video description

Humor (significant)

  • After reading a Yahoo Answers question about whether male giraffes would be interested in male humans, John bangs his head on the desk. — 00:01:13

    “Ohhhhhh, the internet, what disturbing question won't you ask?”

  • Having described male giraffes drinking urine, John insists he is only reporting the facts and points off-camera. — 00:02:19

    “He's the pervert!”

  • John builds suspense about how long giraffe coitus lasts. — 00:02:33

    “Until finally, coitus occurs, lasting up to... several seconds.”

  • John imagines explaining to Henry where baby giraffes come from using Hank's shirt as a 'helpful diagram'. — 00:03:24

    “there is a heart that forms in the space between their necks, and that heart is a baby giraffe.”

Threads in this video

Where the stories that moved here went next

Mentioned

Central: giraffe

Also: DFTBA Records · doobly-doo · flehmen response · Giraffe love shirt · Henry Green · homosexual behavior in animals · Twitter · Yahoo Answers

Also centred on giraffe: People Who Love Giraffes Who Love Giraffes (The Song) · Giraffe Love and Other Questions ANSWERED · How Giraffes Mate, and Why It Matters · Giraffes are Way More Complicated Than We Thought

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