Makin' Babies: A Song

2010-12-01 · song · Hank · 3:20 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Science & nature · mode: Comedy & performance · tags: song or performance, community lore, recurring series

For the animal sex week John started, Hank sings a comic love song listing odd animal mating habits; he then reports viewers' space pasta calculations, which found Moon-grown pasta far less efficient than Earth beef.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Greeting; John made it animal sex week in a week Hank had to write a song

• ★★ Hank thanks John for making it animal sex week in a week when he has to write a song, so he wrote a song about animal sex. (playful) — 00:00:00 · John Green

00:00:10 — Love song about animal procreation: giraffes, tortoises, chimpanzees, dolphins, barnacles, anglerfish, flatworms

• ★ The song says male giraffes have more sex with each other than with females. (playful) — 00:00:31
• ★★ In the song Hank tells a girlfriend who loves evolutionary biology that there are a lot of ways to make a baby, citing animal mating habits. (playful) — 00:00:43
• ★★ The song says dolphin sex lasts twenty seconds at most. (playful) — 00:00:58
• ★★ The song says barnacles' 'junk' is fifty times bigger than their body size. (playful) — 00:01:05
• ★ The song says the male anglerfish 'gets completely screwed' and the flatworm uses a sword-like penis to stab in its sperm. (playful) — 00:01:10

00:01:42 — Aside: chimpanzee footage left out as too human; was the song creepy?

• ★ Hank says he wanted chimpanzee mating footage for the chimpanzee line but found it too much like human sex; he concedes the song was a little creepy and asks viewers. (playful) — 00:01:45

00:02:00 — Hank's new Vyou.com profile

• ★★ Hank says he just started a profile on a new site, Vyou.com (vyou.com/hankgreen), finds it kind of cool and wants to know what viewers think of it. — 00:02:00

00:02:12 — Space pasta results: viewers' calculations show Moon pasta far less efficient than Earth beef

• ★★ Hank reports that several people did excellent calculations, by several different methods, and all found Moon pasta much less efficient than Earth beef. — 00:02:15 · space pasta
• ★★ Hank reports Mike Lombardo's calculation, counting only the rocket trip to the Moon and back with the pasta: about 400 times more energy-intensive than growing a cow, which Hank thinks seems low. — 00:02:24 · space pasta
• ★★ Hank reports the Dancing Hawk's calculation, which includes shipping supplies to build a lunar farm: Moon pasta about 6,500 times less efficient than Earth beef, which Hank finds sound. — 00:02:39 · space pasta

00:02:59 — Sign-off and a proposed new end screen for the videos

• ★★ Hank shows a new end screen the brothers are thinking of using: the left side (shirts, Truth or Fail) will change, while previous/next, subscribe, Twitter and Facebook stay; he asks for opinions. (hedged) — 00:03:03 · Twitter, Facebook

Humor (significant)

• Hank sings to his girl that everyone knows giraffes make him laugh. — 00:00:31

  “Their men have more sex with each other than with their better half”

• Hank lists romantic pitfalls from the animal kingdom. — 00:00:34

  “there is no better way to destroy A mood than to make a tortoise noise”

• After dolphins and barnacles, the song turns to the anglerfish, whose male fuses to the female. — 00:01:10

  “And the male anglerfish gets completely screwed Proving sometimes sex sucks even for the dude”

• Hank explains he put chimpanzees in the song to use chimpanzee mating footage. — 00:01:45

  “it's a little too much like people having sex for me to be comfortable”

Threads in this video

• milestone · Animal sex week: a vlogbrothers week of videos on animal mating (2010) — Hank delivers his part of the animal sex week John started: a song about animal mating. (00:00:00)
• callback · John's giraffe-love bit ('people love giraffes who love giraffes') — Hank's song opens its animal list with giraffes, whose males have more sex with each other than with females. (00:00:28)
• asked · Hank asks viewers what they think of his new Vyou.com profile (2010) — Hank asks viewers what they think of his new Vyou.com profile. (00:02:09)
• result reported · John and Hank challenge Nerdfighteria to work out whether Moon pasta is more energy-efficient than Earth beef (2010) — Hank reports the answers to the space pasta question: all calculations found Moon pasta much less efficient than Earth beef; his favourites estimate about 400 and about 6,500 times worse. (00:02:15)
• asked · Hank asks viewers what they think of a proposed new vlogbrothers end screen (2010) — Hank asks viewers what they think of the proposed new end screen for the brothers' videos. (00:03:13)

Where the stories that moved here went next

• John and Hank challenge Nerdfighteria to work out whether Moon pasta is more energy-efficient than Earth beef (2010) — reported back; last: result reported, 2011-02-09
• Animal sex week: a vlogbrothers week of videos on animal mating (2010) — last documented in 2011 (looked back on in 2010)

Mentioned

Central: space pasta

Also: Projects: Truth or Fail

Organizations: Facebook · Twitter · VYou

Concepts: anglerfish · barnacle · chimpanzee · dolphin · flatworm · giraffe · tortoise

Only in the description or credits: Mike Lombardo · TheDanc1ngHawk

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