CUTE-OCALYPSE!
2012-02-24 · other · Hank · 3:03 · watch on YouTube
Topic: Internet & YouTube · mode: Comedy & performance · tags: song or performance
In a mock moral-panic rant, Hank recants last week's tiny-animals video, calls the flood of internet cuteness humanity's greatest crisis and asks Congress for cute ratings, a cute tax and a cuteness czar.
What is said
The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).
00:00:00 — Hank recants last week's tiny-animals video: the escalating cute crisis, cuteness as a drug and desensitization
- ★★★ Hank, in mock alarm, says his tiny-animals video last week (week of 13 February 2012) fed humanity's greatest crisis: an overwhelming, dangerous amount of cute. (satire) — 00:00:00
- ★★ Hank, in mock alarm, claims cuteness is literally a drug, with endorphins like opium, and that viewers become desensitized while craving ever cuter things. (satire) — 00:00:29
00:01:14 — Cuteness has its place, but will we still love our pets and children after internet cute (Maru, internet babies)?
- ★★ Hank concedes cuteness has its place: it helps us love our children and pets so we don't neglect (or eat) them. (playful) — 00:01:14
- ★★ Hank, in mock alarm, wonders whether he will still love his cat, or parents their children, once they can never be as cute as Maru or internet babies. (satire) — 00:01:14
00:01:43 — Mock call on Congress: cutologists, cute ratings, weekly quotas, a cute tax and Jack Donaghy as cuteness czar; sign-off
- ★★ Hank mock-calls on Congress to regulate internet cuteness: a board of cutologists, a cute rating system for media and a weekly quota per American. (satire) — 00:01:43 · United States Congress
- ★★ Hank proposes a mock cute tax on over-quota viewers, Emergency Puppy followers, Reddit subscribers and Pinterest otter searchers, to balance the national psyche and budget. (satire) — 00:02:13 · Twitter, Reddit
- ★ Hank nominates Jack Donaghy as the new cuteness czar overseeing the system. (joke) — 00:02:13
In the description and comments
- ★ The description credits the Cute-ocalypse image to Vondell Swain and the sound and campaign poster to Michael Aranda. — video description
Humor (dominant)
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Hank concedes that cuteness is natural and has its place in how we treat children and pets. — 00:01:14
“It helps us love our children and our pets so that we don't neglect or eat them.”
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Hank calls on Congress to regulate internet cuteness. — 00:01:43
“A certified board of cutologists must be employed to create a rating system for the amount of cute”
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Hank proposes a cute tax on over-quota viewers, Emergency Puppy followers and Pinterest otter searchers. — 00:02:13
“The cute tax will not only help balance our national psyche, it will also help balance our budget.”
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A new cuteness czar must oversee the cute-regulation system. — 00:02:13
“I would like to personally nominate Jack Donaghy for that position.”
Mentioned
Works: Emergency Puppy
Organizations: Pinterest · Reddit · Twitter · United States Congress
Concepts: cuteness · Scottish Fold · slow loris
Characters: Jack Donaghy
animal: Maru
Only in the description or credits: Michael Aranda · Vondell Swain
Replies to
- continues · World's Smallest Animals — “Last week I discussed with you the tiniest little adorablest little tiny animals.”
Later videos replying to this one
- 2012-02-28 · On Cuties and Cooties (John) — continues — “Your video on Friday contained so much cute that I was worried I might get cute overload” (00:00:00)