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Ranting about Books

2014-02-21 · letter vlog · Hank · 3:56 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Books & writing · mode: Comedy & performance · tags: self promotion, community lore

Hank, a book lover, rants at publishers about fixable annoyances: spoilers in back-cover copy, unmarked series, clichéd covers, deckled edges and misleading blurbs; books remain a far superior medium.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Hank loves books though apparently mildly dyslexic; after thousands of years of bookmaking he has complaints for publishers

  • ★★ Hank reads a lot, though apparently, according to a Staples test, he is mildly dyslexic enough to read at a third-grade level. (playful, hedged) — 00:00:03
  • ★★★ Hank says humans have made books for thousands of years, so the process should be perfected, yet he has complaints for publishing companies. (playful) — 00:00:09

00:00:20 — Spoilers in back-cover descriptions; a Looking for Alaska edition's spoiler-laden reader question

  • ★★★ Hank, who reads back-cover descriptions to choose books, objects to major spoilers in them: he doesn't want to spend half a book waiting for something he knows will happen. — 00:00:27
  • ★★ Hank says Looking for Alaska's description avoids spoilers, but one edition prints spoiler-laden reader questions on the page facing the author bio, which readers may check first. (playful) — 00:00:43 · Looking for Alaska (novel)

00:01:13 — Say on the cover when a book is part of a series; number them like graphic novels; a mismatched set on his shelf

  • ★★★ Hank asks publishers to say on the cover or inside flap when a book is part of a series, or to number the spines as graphic novels do. — 00:01:13
  • ★★ Hank shows something on his bookshelf (visual only) that he calls the worst thing there: the books are all first editions, and the publisher just made a mistake. (playful) — 00:01:31

00:01:44 — Covers: half-naked guys with swords on fantasy epics, decapitated YA girls, Twilight lookalikes

  • ★★ Hank says a high-quality fantasy epic shouldn't have a half-naked guy on a horse with a sword on the cover: he won't believe it's a good book. (playful) — 00:01:44
  • ★★ Hank tells publishers to stop with 'decapitated YA fiction ladies' on covers and with books made to look like Twilight when they aren't. (playful) — 00:02:02

00:02:10 — Deckled edges (The Ocean at the End of the Lane) cost more and work worse, like pre-holed pants

  • ★★★ Showing The Ocean at the End of the Lane, Hank says deckled edges make books harder to read yet come on pricier books; paying more for less function makes no sense. (hedged) — 00:02:10

00:02:45 — Misleading blurbs: The Casual Vacancy 'became a #1 worldwide bestseller'

  • ★★ Hank calls The Casual Vacancy's back-cover line that it 'became a #1 worldwide bestseller' misleading: a J.K. Rowling novel topping the charts surprised nobody. (playful) — 00:02:45

00:03:11 — Books are a far superior medium, except Vlogbrothers videos; 'the Cadillac of the ultimate', not penultimate; sign-off

  • ★★ Ironically listing faults books don't have (batteries, pop-up ads, pre-rolls), Hank declares books a far superior medium to most, except Vlogbrothers videos. (playful) — 00:03:11 · Vlogbrothers
  • ★ Hank says he learned 'penultimate' doesn't mean 'ultimate' when someone laughed at him during an oral presentation. (playful) — 00:03:32

00:03:43 — The Art Assignment's first episode is online; the Yeti has a YouTube channel

  • ★★ Hank announces the first episode of The Art Assignment is online now and asks viewers to go to youtube.com/theartassignment and watch it. — 00:03:45 · The Art Assignment
  • ★ Hank notes that 'the Yeti' (Sarah) has a YouTube channel: who would have guessed? (playful) — 00:03:52 · Sarah Urist Green

Humor (significant)

  • Hank describes the reader question printed facing the author bio in one edition of Looking for Alaska. — 00:01:06

    “Do you think that SPOILER SPOILER was a SPOILER or a SPOILER?”

  • Complaining about fantasy covers, Hank garbles 'a half-naked guy on a horse with a sword' into 'on a sword with a horse' and reconsiders. — 00:01:59

    “If there's a half-naked guy on a sword, then I'll probably buy that book.”

  • Hank compares deckled edges to the years when pants with pre-made holes cost more. — 00:02:42

    “I can make my own pant holes, thank you.”

  • Calling Vlogbrothers videos 'the Cadillac of the ultimate', Hank adds a correction. — 00:03:32

    “Not penultimate, which does not mean the same thing, which I learned while I was giving an oral presentation and somebody laughed at me.”

Threads in this video

Where the stories that moved here went next

Mentioned

Central: deckle edge · spoiler

Also: People: Sarah Urist Green

Projects: The Art Assignment

Works: Looking for Alaska (novel) · The Casual Vacancy · The Ocean at the End of the Lane · Twilight

Concepts: dyslexia · graphic novel · young adult literature

Only in the description or credits: How to Adult · J. K. Rowling

Also centred on spoiler: Eating the Unicorn · I Want You to Know Nothing About This

Later videos replying to this one

  • 2014-02-28 · The Cost of Fun (Hank) — continues — “Last week I said some really mean things about books” (00:00:01)