15 Rants in Four Minutes
2015-05-22 · list · Hank · 3:59 · watch on YouTube
Topic: Everyday life · mode: Comedy & performance · tags: self promotion, recurring series
Hank, after Twitter voted for rants over jokes, fires off fifteen quick comic rants: texting while driving, phones in theaters, mocking humanities majors or slang, bad website and car software, defensiveness about hurtful words, marketing jargon, what school didn't teach him, and cable news.
What is said
The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).
00:00:00 — Greeting; sorry about John's face; Twitter chose a rant video over a joke video; rant 1: why do people prefer rants (negative cognitive bias)
- ★★ Hank, wanting to make John feel better, asked Twitter whether to make a rant video or a joke video; the answer was overwhelmingly rants. — 00:00:01 · Twitter, John Green
- ★★ Hank's first rant: why do people want to see him angry rather than funny, and is the negative cognitive bias so prevalent that we can't just have a good time? (playful) — 00:00:12
00:00:22 — Rants on texting while driving, phone-gazing at green lights, and phones in movie theaters
- ★★ Hank says people who text while driving because they're 'careful' are really saying they haven't killed anyone yet; same for reading texts at a green light, where he will honk. (playful) — 00:00:23
- ★★ Hank says people who can't stop looking at their phones shouldn't go to movies at all rather than check Facebook on a bright phone there. (playful) — 00:00:59 · Facebook
00:01:12 — Rants on mocking humanities majors and mocking slang (bae, boo, slay); ranting at people different from you
- ★★ Hank, a science person, objects to mocking others' choice of major, usually humanities: interacting with and creating for humans is something computers aren't fast improving at, so those jobs are fairly safe from automation. — 00:01:12
- ★★★ Hank says mocking slang like 'bae', 'boo' or 'slay' is wrong: language is fluid, subcultures define themselves by slang, and complaining just claims your subculture is better, which looks pretentious. — 00:01:31 · bae, boo, slay
00:01:58 — Rants on websites that ask when they will require, and unresponsive in-car software instead of Android
- ★★ Hank tells website makers not to ask users whether they want to do something they will be required to do, then say 'we'll ask again later'. (playful) — 00:01:58
- ★★ Hank says car makers build their own awful, unresponsive in-car software instead of using free Android, making new cars feel like a first-generation iPhone (he doesn't own such a car). (playful) — 00:02:15
00:02:55 — Rants on getting defensive about hurtful word use, and marketing jargon
- ★★★ Hank says that when someone asks you not to use a word in a way that makes them feel bad about themselves, don't get defensive; just stop using it that way. — 00:02:55
- ★ Hank mocks marketing jargon about 'leveraging online influencers to connect with digital natives through mobile snack-able content'. (playful) — 00:03:06
00:03:15 — School never taught him taxes but did teach long division, quadratic equations and cursive; final rant: cable news
- ★★ Hank complains that school never taught him to do his taxes, though government pays for schools and wants taxes paid, yet taught long division, quadratic equations and cursive he never uses. (playful) — 00:03:15 · education
- ★ Hank's final rant is just an exasperated 'cable news'. (playful) — 00:03:43
00:03:49 — Sign-off; pointer to Hank's first rant video; giraffe love design back, new tank tops
- ★ Hank announces the giraffe love design is back in better, shiny colors, along with new summer tank tops. — 00:03:52
In the description and comments
- ★★ In the description Hank says he doesn't think rants are particularly healthy but finds them entertaining, and wants to avoid getting angry at individual people unless they endanger others or break a social contract. (hedged) — video description
Humor (dominant)
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Telling texting drivers 'Don't! Don't! Stop!', Hank slides into a song lyric and loses his place. — 00:00:33
“Stop, just don't stop, believing.”
-
Hank sarcastically apologises to the phone-gazing driver he honked at for not going on green. — 00:00:53
“I guess I should have just sat there...forever...literally.”
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Hank rants about slow, homemade in-car software in new cars. — 00:02:30
“Congratulations on making a brand new car feel like a first generation iPhone.”
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Hank quotes marketing jargon about leveraging online influencers and snack-able content. — 00:03:10
“you're fired. Just go to your desk, get your stuff, leave.”
Threads in this video
- variation · Hank's 'Rants in Four Minutes' videos (2013) — Hank does a second rants-in-four-minutes video, pointing viewers to his first rant video. (00:03:52)
- restate · Should language follow fixed rules of correct usage? — Hank argues against mocking slang: language is fluid and subcultures define themselves by slang terms. (00:01:31)
- restate · What is school for? — Hank says school should have taught him practical things like doing his taxes rather than quadratic equations and cursive. (00:03:22)
Mentioned
Works: Don't Stop Believin' (“don't stop, believing”) · Hank's giraffe love design
Organizations: Facebook · Twitter
Concepts: Cable news · Cursive · education · Humanities · linguistic prescription · negativity bias · pejorative · tax · Technological unemployment · Texting while driving
Products: Android · iPhone
Memes: bae · boo · slay
Replies to
- answers · Pain Destroys Language: John after the Dentist — “I'm sorry about your face”
Later videos replying to this one
- 2015-05-26 · Sixteen Parts (John) — imitates — “I like the 16-ness of your Friday video so much, I thought I'd do a 16-part video of my own today.” (00:00:02)
- 2015-05-29 · 15 of My Favorite Feelings (Hank) — continues (callback on Hank's 'Rants in Four Minutes' videos (2013)) — Hank refers back to his rant video, whose first rant was about ranting, and counters it with favorite feelings. (00:00:01)