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Top 10 Best Dogs Ever

2017-01-13 · list · Hank · 4:00 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Everyday life (also: Science & nature, US politics & society) · mode: Comedy & performance

After a Twitter suggestion of puppies, Hank counts down a deliberately nonsensical top 10 of best dogs (Stubby, Lily, a hero dog, a cat, Laika, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Bummer and Lazarus, Tweety Bird, his late dog Lemon), then says that in a tense, manipulative news moment there are still good dogs and good people, and we must care for ourselves and the world.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Greeting; Twitter picks puppies as the topic

  • ★ Hank asked Twitter on Wednesday to pick among three video topics; many wanted none, and a much-liked tweet suggesting puppies gave this video its subject. — 00:00:01 · Twitter

00:00:23 — The top 10 best dogs: real hero and famous dogs mixed with a cat, chipmunks and a canary

  • ★★ Hank says Stubby, an Allied dog in World War I, learned to smell chemical weapons and warn soldiers, was wounded twice, served in 17 battles and caught a German spy, earning promotion to sergeant. — 00:00:23
  • ★★ Hank says Lily, a pit bull, pulled her unconscious owner off railroad tracks ahead of a freight train; the train hit Lily, who lost a leg but survived. — 00:00:50
  • ★★ Hank describes a video of a dog dragging another dog, hit by a car, off an interstate; he does not show it because it is graphic and terrifying. — 00:01:07
  • ★★ Hank says 1950s Russian scientists collected Moscow stray dogs as used to extreme conditions; one, Laika, became the first animal to orbit Earth and the first to die in orbit. — 00:01:40 · Earth
  • ★ Hank adds that the first animal to go to space was a fruit fly. — 00:02:03
  • ★★ Hank says Bummer and Lazarus survived mid-1800s San Francisco, where stray dogs outnumbered people, and became nationally famous for their companionship and rat-killing, exempted from local laws and drawn in cartoons. — 00:02:16
  • ★ Hank notes canaries are named after the Canary Islands, which are named after the Latin word for dog, and so jokingly counts Tweety Bird as a dog. (playful) — 00:02:49
  • ★★ Hank ranks his dog Lemon, who passed away, tenth, saying the best dog is your own dog and there's nothing wrong with that. — 00:03:05

00:03:14 — Why people want puppies now: a tense moment, manipulative news, still good dogs and people; sign-off

  • ★★★ Hank understands why people wanted puppies: the moment feels much more tense than a couple of years ago and seems likely to get worse before it gets better. (hedged) — 00:03:14
  • ★★★ Hank says the way we're fed news is inefficient, overwhelming and manipulative, and too often people tasked with informing the public try to win rather than inform, which he is sick of. — 00:03:24
  • ★★ Hank says there are still good dogs and still good people. — 00:03:45
  • ★★★ Hank says that in the coming years we can't choose between taking care of ourselves and taking care of the world's problems; we have to do both. — 00:03:48

Humor (significant)

  • Hank wonders why the hero dog drags the other dog off the road — 00:01:24

    “just 'cause I was supposed to cry today?”

  • After stories of dogs rescuing people, Hank's number four is a cat — 00:01:34

    “we have this cat, who is clearly a cat, but is nonetheless, a very good dog.”

  • Hank claims a little-known fact about the actors who played Alvin and the Chipmunks in The Squeakquel — 00:02:08

    “actually very small dogs!”

  • Canaries are named after the Canary Islands, named after the Latin word for dog — 00:02:49

    “So, by the transitive property, Tweety Bird is a dog.”

Threads in this video

Mentioned

Central: Sergeant Stubby

Also: Works: Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel

Organizations: Soviet space program · Twitter

Concepts: chemical weapon · Latin

Places: Canary Islands · Moscow · San Francisco

Events: World War I

Characters: Alvin and the Chipmunks · Tweety

animal: Bummer and Lazarus · Laika · Lemon · Lily

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