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Why I Won't Run for Office

2017-04-04 · letter vlog · John · 3:46 · watch on YouTube

Topic: US politics & society (also: Projects) · mode: Personal essay · tags: self promotion, community lore

As his friend Daniel Biss runs for governor of Illinois, John explains he will never run for office because politics means endless meetings, which he hates, but argues that democracy depends on honest public servants like Daniel who are willing to attend them.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Brotherhood 2.0 mathematician Daniel Biss, now a state senator, runs for governor of Illinois

  • ★★ John recalls Brotherhood 2.0's resident mathematician Daniel Biss, his friend, a successful University of Chicago math professor who left to run for office and became a successful state senator. — 00:00:00 · Daniel Biss, Brotherhood 2.0
  • ★★★ John says Daniel Biss is now running for governor of Illinois, complete with fancy campaign ads. — 00:00:13 · Daniel Biss
  • ★★ John finds this surprising because Daniel is the smartest person he knows and governor of Illinois seems like a terrible job. (hedged) — 00:00:19 · Daniel Biss
  • ★★ John says Illinois politics are so dysfunctional the state regularly has no budget, and four of its past ten governors have been imprisoned for corruption. — 00:00:27
  • ★★ John says what interests him most is that Daniel, deep down, wants to work in government to help people and because he believes in democracy. — 00:00:40 · Daniel Biss
  • ★★ John says that as a state senator Daniel led the passage of legislation to increase retirement savings and a ban on so-called conversion therapy for LGBT people. — 00:00:48 · Daniel Biss
  • ★★ John says that to accomplish anything Daniel has had to wade through the vast, gridlocked swamp of US politics and attend many, many meetings. — 00:00:56 · Daniel Biss

00:01:04 — Why John won't run for office: politics is meetings, and he hates meetings

  • ★★★ Answering commenters who ask why he doesn't run for office, John says being a politician means constant meetings, and he hates meetings with a white-hot passion. — 00:01:04

00:01:24 — Tangent: Stan uses ping-pong to trick John into a Crash Course Literature meeting

  • ★★ John tells how, over ping-pong, Stan turned his praise of the Crash Courses in Computer Science and World Mythology into talk of more Crash Course Literature (perhaps 1984): a trick into a meeting. (playful) — 00:01:25 · Crash Course
  • ★★ John announces more Crash Course Literature coming this fall. — 00:01:41 · Crash Course

00:01:43 — What politicians' meetings involve: donors, constituents, handshakes, the governor at an IEDC meeting

  • ★★ John says politicians attend endless meetings: running for governor of Indiana means meeting rich people to ask for money and meeting strangers across the state daily to hear their concerns. — 00:01:43 · Indiana
  • ★★ John says candidates must listen like grown-ups to people who disagree and will never vote for them, resisting the urge to cover their ears. (playful) — 00:01:58
  • ★ John says shaking filthy hands recalls the story of someone asking James Joyce to kiss the hand that wrote Ulysses, and Joyce replying that it has done many other things as well. (playful) — 00:02:07
  • ★★ John says that after enough handshakes and meetings you get to be governor, at which point you basically become a professional attender of meetings. (playful, hedged) — 00:02:19
  • ★ John tells Hank that the governor of Indiana is at that moment attending a public meeting of the Indiana Economic Development Corporation. (playful) — 00:02:31 · Indiana

00:02:44 — Elected officials are not terrible: government depends on honest public servants like Daniel; good luck to him

  • ★★★ John says his hatred of meetings, among other things, would make him a terrible elected official, but that doesn't mean elected officials are terrible. — 00:02:44
  • ★★ John says the only elected official he knows is among the kindest, most thoughtful people he has met, and anyone would be lucky to have him as governor. — 00:02:51 · Daniel Biss
  • ★★★ John says too many politicians fit our caricatures, but our system of government depends on Daniel and many like him, passionate, honest public servants willing to attend meetings; we desperately need them. — 00:02:59 · Daniel Biss
  • ★★ John thanks Daniel and wishes him luck: he is running against a few billionaires, but John believes in him. — 00:03:16 · Daniel Biss

00:03:23 — Self-Care Bunny poster at DFTBA.com and this week's scavenger hunt clue

  • ★★ In the end screen John says Rosianna's Self-Care Bunny is now available as a poster at DFTBA.com. — 00:03:23 · Rosianna Halse Rojas, DFTBA Records
  • ★★ John says a scavenger hunt is happening with a different riddle every week, explained in the doobly-doo, and this week's (week of 3 April 2017) clue is Self-Care Bunny, rearranged. (playful) — 00:03:33 · doobly-doo

In the description and comments

  • ★★ John explains the scavenger hunt: each Tuesday a clue leads to a series of riddles whose solution reveals a password; this week's (week of 3 April 2017) clue, Self-Care Bunny rearranged, unlocks the Week 9 board, and players can get help on the Nerdfighter Discord. — video description

Humor (significant)

  • Four of Illinois's past ten governors have been imprisoned for corruption. — 00:00:32

    “an incarceration rate that is, you know, somewhat higher than the one seen among professors of mathematics.”

  • John's most common contribution to any meeting is asking whether they are done. — 00:01:13

    “I usually start saying that like 12 seconds into a meeting, and then repeat it, mantra-like, until finally I am released.”

  • Stan, over ping-pong, floats more Crash Course Literature and suggests books to read. — 00:01:36

    “Wait a second, Stan, did you just use the magic of Ping-Pong to trick me into a damn meeting?”

  • The governor of Indiana is attending a public meeting of the Indiana Economic Development Corporation. — 00:02:37

    “I will spend eternity thinking: "Well, at least I am not at a meeting of the Indiana Economic Development Corporation.”

Threads in this video

Where the stories that moved here went next

Mentioned

Central: Daniel Biss

Also: People: James Joyce · Stan Muller

Projects: Brotherhood 2.0 · Crash Course · DFTBA Records · Nerdfighter Scavenger Hunt

Works: Nineteen Eighty-Four · Ulysses

Organizations: Illinois Senate · Indiana Economic Development Corporation · University of Chicago

Terms: doobly-doo

Concepts: campaign finance · conversion therapy · democracy · political corruption

Places: Illinois · Indiana

Events: Illinois budget impasse

Characters: Self-Care Bunny

Only in the description or credits: Rosianna Halse Rojas · Tuatara Discord

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