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A Floridian's Guide to Living Someplace Very Very Cold

2019-01-25 · list · Hank · 3:54 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Everyday life (also: Personal life) · mode: Advice & reviews

Hank, who grew up in Florida and moved to Missoula in 2003, says locals' advice about cold was obvious and offers the 'actual secrets' of living somewhere very cold, from how cold scales work to gloves, wind and ice, ending with the advice to try to enjoy winter.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Hank's move from Florida to Missoula and the obvious advice he got about cold

  • ★★ Hank recalls spending his first 22 years in Florida, where winter is the best season because you can move around without sweating. — 00:00:00 · Florida
  • ★★ Hank says that in 2003 he moved to Missoula, Montana, which was a shift. — 00:00:10 · Missoula, Montana, Montana
  • ★★ Hank says Missoula winters usually hover in the 20s and 30s Fahrenheit and sometimes drop to about negative 20, about as cold as it gets. — 00:00:14 · Missoula, Montana
  • ★★ Hank says the locals' cold-weather secrets weren't secret (everyone said layers), while nobody told him not to touch metal with bare hands because they thought no one would. (playful) — 00:00:20
  • ★★★ Hank, having moved from a warm climate to loving cold weather, offers the actual secrets of living somewhere cold. — 00:00:41

00:00:50 — The actual secrets of cold-weather living: temperature scales, ice, gloves, seals, sun and wind, driving, heating, and enjoying it

  • ★★ Hank says 30 degrees Fahrenheit is not cold, at most chilly. — 00:00:50
  • ★★ Hank says he didn't grasp that the gap from 30 to 0 is as big as from 60 to 30; cold does not plateau, and 20 to negative 20 is a life-threateningly big difference. — 00:01:01
  • ★★ Hank defines cold as when exposed skin hurts, very cold as starting around 0°F, and below it 'too cold', which you should not go out in unless expert at it. — 00:01:16
  • ★★ Hank says walking on ice improves with practice but is very dangerous. — 00:01:32
  • ★★ Hank recommends traction cleats (sometimes called crampons): not cheap, but cheaper than a broken arm. — 00:01:40
  • ★★ Hank advises pulling wipers up before snow so they don't freeze to the windshield and break when chipped off. — 00:01:52
  • ★★ Hank says gloves don't warm cold hands; they keep warm hands warm, so put them on before your hands get cold. — 00:02:00
  • ★★ Hank's tip: put gloves on before the jacket to make a seal between them; it's all about good seals. — 00:02:11
  • ★★ Hank says he never knew what scarves were for: they create the seal between your jacket and your neck. — 00:02:20
  • ★ Hank warns against licking your lips a lot and keeps a chapstick in his big cold jacket. — 00:02:33
  • ★★ Hank says December is only the beginning of winter; anyone thinking it is almost over in late January will be upset in April. — 00:02:39
  • ★★ Hank says sunlight matters: sunny and windless can be T-shirt weather in the 30s, and sun on the skin makes you much less miserable. — 00:02:50
  • ★★ Hank says wind matters much more than sun: in the teens and windy, just give up. — 00:03:01
  • ★★ Hank says driving in winter is different: go slow. — 00:03:06
  • ★★ Hank recommends a cheap tool he shows, ideally two, since a broken one leaves a $15,000 machine useless for want of a $4 one; avoid the super short ones. (playful, hedged) — 00:03:12
  • ★★ Hank warns not to turn the heat off when going on vacation, or the pipes will burst and the house will be destroyed. — 00:03:24
  • ★ Hank warns, with evident experience, not to leave a gallon of milk in the back of the car. (playful) — 00:03:30
  • ★★★ Hank's final advice: try to enjoy winter, which is pretty, refreshing and clean, and appreciate it even a little, or you will resent it a lot. — 00:03:34

Humor (significant)

  • Hank describes Florida, where he lived his first 22 years. — 00:00:02

    “43 million bugs per square centimeter”

  • Everyone told Hank the secret to cold was layers. — 00:00:30

    “Like, oh, I never would have guessed that wearing more clothes would help.”

  • Nobody warned him not to touch metal with bare hands because no one would do that. — 00:00:39

    “I'm from Florida; pretend I'm a baby.”

  • Crampons are technically for climbing on ice and... — 00:01:48

    “I assume, also murder.”

Mentioned

Florida · Missoula, Montana

Only in the description or credits: Montana

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