Feelings, Little Tunnels, and Oprah: It's Question Tuesday with Ashley C. Ford

2021-06-08 · collab / interview · John, Ashley C. Ford · 4:00 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Health (also: Books & writing, Pop culture) · mode: Q&A & conversation · tags: recurring series, guest or collab, heavy topic

On Question Tuesday John and memoirist Ashley C. Ford answer viewer questions about her book Somebody's Daughter, Oprah's love for it, living with trauma (no feeling is bad; emotions are curving tunnels you must walk through), memoir, and Midwestern yacht rock.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Question Tuesday with Ashley C. Ford; seagulls

★★ John introduces Question Tuesday, answering real questions from real nerdfighters, with best-selling memoirist and friend Ashley C. Ford, whose Somebody's Daughter is out now. — 00:00:03 · Question Tuesday, Nerdfighteria
★ Ashley C. Ford: Ashley is not a fan of seagulls (nor is John): one chased her husband down a beach. (playful) — 00:00:15

00:00:29 — Oprah loving the book; the Oprah conversation event; what Somebody's Daughter is about

★★ Ashley C. Ford: Having Oprah love her book feels like stripping off wet, soggy clothes after a whole cold day outside and getting into the perfect hot shower. — 00:00:29
★★ The day after upload, viewers can see Ashley C. Ford in conversation with Oprah Winfrey, live on Zoom. (playful) — 00:00:52
★★★ Ashley C. Ford: Somebody's Daughter is about Ashley's girlhood in a difficult parental situation: her mom had emotional issues and hard interactions with her, while her father was incarcerated the whole time. — 00:00:58

00:01:21 — Release worry, Indiana; advice for young people with trauma: no bad feelings, emotions as curving tunnels; what memoir asserts

★★ Ashley C. Ford: The book is about dealing with that, the feelings that come from it, and the hope of making it to the other side. — 00:01:21
★ Ashley C. Ford: Asked when the worry about releasing a book ends and relief sets in, Ashley turns it back on John. (playful) — 00:01:30
★ Ashley C. Ford: Coming home to Indiana after so much time in New York has been perfect. — 00:01:35 · Indiana, New York City
★★★ Ashley C. Ford: Ashley wishes someone had told her there is no such thing as a bad feeling: feeling anger, sadness or frustration was not punishment and not wrongdoing. — 00:01:40
★★★ Ashley C. Ford: Trauma is hard partly because you can't tell when or how it will end; not seeing when something will end doesn't mean it won't. — 00:02:08
★★★ Ashley C. Ford: Someone once described emotions to Ashley as curving little tunnels: walking in you can't see the light for a long time, but following the curve you eventually see it. — 00:02:20

“little tunnels that you walk into and they curve”
★★ Ashley C. Ford: Many people were taught to stop in the middle of the tunnel, which doesn't work for processing emotions: you have to go through it, and there's always a way out. — 00:02:37
★★★ Ashley C. Ford: Memoir in itself asserts that every human life has a story. — 00:02:55

00:03:03 — The Midwest: back roads and yacht rock

★★ Ashley C. Ford: Ashley's favorite thing about the Midwest is driving far too fast on back roads past cornfields, listening to yacht rock such as Christopher Cross. — 00:03:03

00:03:25 — A Michael McDonald impression and its secret; book plug, thanks and sign-off

★★ John says Ashley's Somebody's Daughter, available wherever books are sold, is a special, extraordinary book. — 00:03:43
★★ John thanks Ashley for being here and for being the first guest in their house in 15 months. — 00:03:48

In the description and comments

★ The description calls John and Ashley two gratefully vaccinated writer friends. — video description
★★ John cut so much from this video that he posted the full conversation as a secret unlisted video linked in the description. — video description

Humor (significant)

A seagull once chased Ashley's husband down a beach; they agree he is very handsome, so she does not blame the gulls. — 00:00:15

“So I don’t blame them.”
After Ashley's Oprah appearance, many commenters asked Oprah where she got her quilt. — 00:00:40

“hey Oprah, where'd you get that quilt?”
After a Michael McDonald impression, its performer shares the secret to doing one. — 00:03:30

“all you have to do is yawn and sing at the same time.”
They picture Michael McDonald working that way for real at three in the morning. — 00:03:38

“Time to get to work. Time to hit the studio.”

Mentioned

Central: Ashley C. Ford · psychological trauma · Somebody's Daughter

Also: People: Christopher Cross · Michael McDonald · Oprah Winfrey

Rituals: Question Tuesday

Concepts: memoir · yacht rock

Places: Indiana · Midwestern United States · New York City

Also centred on Somebody's Daughter: My Two Favorite Books of the Year

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