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goodbye to my friend

2023-04-18 · story · John · 3:59 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Personal life (also: Books & writing) · mode: Personal essay · tags: heavy topic

Saying goodbye to his late mentor Bill Ott, publisher of Booklist, John retells how Bill gave him time off during his 2001 depression and urged him to watch Harvey, recalls their argument over whether novels must be hopeful, and says Bill taught him that work and stories matter but nothing matters like people.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Bill Ott's death; who he was to John

  • ★★★ John says his friend and mentor Bill Ott, publisher of Booklist for more than 30 years and John's first boss, died last week (week of 10 April 2023). — 00:00:03
  • ★★ John calls Bill a brilliant writer and editor and a wonderful friend who, as readers of The Anthropocene Reviewed may know, kind of saved his life once. — 00:00:13 · The Anthropocene Reviewed (book)
  • ★★★ John retells that in late 2001 a mental health crisis and depression got so bad that, with his parents, he decided to quit his job and move home to Florida for full-time care. — 00:00:21 · Florida

00:00:29 — Retelling: the 2001 depression, Bill's offer of time off, the Harvey note, recovery, Looking for Alaska and the Printz

  • ★★★ When John went to quit, Bill, his boss's boss's boss, did not just wish him well but said 'ah, kid' and, after a pause, told him to take time off and report back in a few weeks. — 00:00:29
  • ★★ John says Bill had serious speech challenges as a kid and adapted by developing masterful pauses, so listeners leaned forward for his punchline or observation. — 00:00:55
  • ★★★ Packing up to leave Booklist, John found a note Bill had left on his computer, which he still has, ending with an urging to watch Harvey, a movie Bill loved. — 00:01:13
  • ★★ John says Bill wanted him to see Harvey for a reason: it is about someone living with serious mental illness who is nonetheless valuable, important and worthy. — 00:01:27 · mental disorder
  • ★★★ John got better, returned to work, reviewed hundreds more books, and wrote Looking for Alaska under the guidance of Bill's wife Ilene Cooper; it won the Printz Award. — 00:01:36 · Looking for Alaska (novel)

00:01:57 — John's long-standing disagreement with Bill over novels' moral responsibility

  • ★★ Bill attended John's Printz acceptance speech and told him afterwards he liked it, except for the stuff about morality. — 00:01:57
  • ★★ Bill Ott (quoted): Bill maintained that a novel's job was to be good and true, and that novels needed hope like fish need bicycles. — 00:02:08
  • ★★★ In their only long-standing disagreement, John maintained that to be true, a novel had to be hopeful and redemptive, with some moral or ethical responsibility to readers. — 00:02:08
  • ★★ John loved their big conversations because Bill, much older and wiser and seemingly having read everything, still took him seriously. — 00:02:21

00:02:32 — What John learned from Bill: people matter more than work; the love we give outlasts us

  • ★★ Bill taught John to love mystery novels and old movies, and precision in writing: the second best word simply won't suffice. — 00:02:32
  • ★★★ John's biggest lesson from Bill: he loved his work, but the love of his life was people: his wife Ilene, his daughter and his grandson. — 00:02:41
  • ★★★ John says Bill taught him that work matters and stories matter, but nothing matters like people do. — 00:03:01
  • ★★ John says anyone who has benefited from his work has benefited from Bill's, and there's a good chance Bill wrote or edited an early review of any book you love. (hedged) — 00:03:08
  • ★★★ John says the heartbreak and hope of human life is that everything goes except the love we pour into others and into the world. — 00:03:38
  • ★★ John is grateful for Bill's love, hopes Bill knew how much he admired him, and says he will desperately miss him. — 00:03:38

In the description and comments

  • ★★ The description and John's comment point viewers to his friend Keir Graff's remembrance of Bill. — video description
  • ★★ In the description John writes that he loves Bill and wishes he had said it in life. — video description

Threads in this video

Mentioned

Central: Bill Ott

Also: People: Ilene Cooper

Works: Harvey (film) · Looking for Alaska (novel) · The Anthropocene Reviewed (book)

Organizations: Booklist · Michael L. Printz Award

Concepts: depression · love · mental disorder

Places: Florida

Only in the description or credits: Keir Graff

Also centred on Bill Ott: Perspective

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