Skip to content

My Consciousness. Their Capital.

2024-09-17 · letter vlog · John · 4:09 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Internet & YouTube (also: Personal life) · mode: Personal essay · tags: heavy topic

John argues that algorithms decide how internet users feel; during his month away while emerging from depression he found that nature, too (a randomized reward while fishing, a coyote in his path), decides how he feels, and that algorithms exploit that biology to turn his consciousness into their capital, which he wants to remember as he returns online.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Opening riff on what the video might be; algorithms decide how internet users feel; TikTok as example

  • ★★★ John says that for most internet citizens, algorithms decide to a remarkable degree what we think about and how we feel. — 00:00:00 · recommender system
  • ★★ John says he has been emerging from a depression, partly by engaging less with algorithms. — 00:00:29 · recommender system
  • ★★★ John says watching TikTok lets TikTok decide whether he feels happy or outraged, what he sees and what he sympathizes with; his only choice is whether to engage. — 00:00:29 · TikTok

00:00:58 — The actual world decides feelings too: fishing on the White River, a calm walk in the woods, a coyote in the path

  • ★★ John says users shape their algorithm only in that it finds and uses their vulnerabilities; the idea that he decides how he feels after opening TikTok is a lie he tells himself. — 00:00:58 · TikTok, recommender system
  • ★★★ John says the surprise of his month away from algorithms was that the actual world is also in the business of deciding how and when you feel. — 00:00:58
  • ★★ While recovering, John went fishing: largely a randomized reward of mostly sitting, until catching and releasing a fish into the White River made him want to cast again. — 00:00:58
  • ★★ On a walk in the woods during his break, John felt sad but calm, having worked on spending time in nature, breathing outside air and noticing sensations. — 00:01:27
  • ★★ John says he still felt very sad, but the sadness became survivable rather than crushing, partly because being intertwined with the natural world lifted his spirits. — 00:01:56
  • ★★★ On that walk a coyote came out of the woods and stood in John's path staring at him, and he felt a surge of panic. — 00:01:56
  • ★ John jokes about whether he could beat a coyote: it is a seasoned predator, he a depressive Indiana resident practiced at Instagram. (playful) — 00:01:56 · Indiana, Instagram

00:02:43 — Coyote panic compared with TikTok and Twitter threats; algorithms recreate nature's randomized rewards and turn consciousness into capital; sign-off

  • ★★★ John says the rush of panic was not so different from sensing a threat in a disparaging TikTok comment or a big story breaking live on Twitter: a drama with an unknown ending. — 00:02:43 · TikTok, Twitter
  • ★★ When the coyote casually walked back into the woods, John felt a huge flood of relief. — 00:03:12
  • ★★★ John concludes that not only algorithms decide how we feel: even in nature he, the purported captain of the ship of himself, does not decide how he feels facing a coyote. — 00:03:12
  • ★★★ John says algorithms work with our biology to recreate nature's intense experiences and randomized rewards: they put the fish on the hook only occasionally and coyotes in our path regularly. — 00:03:12 · recommender system

  • ★★★ John says remembering that these technologies exploit his biology to turn his consciousness into their capital is central to what he wants to hold on to as he returns to the internet. — 00:03:42 · attention economy

    “exploiting my biology to turn my consciousness into their capital”

Threads in this video

Mentioned

Central: attention economy · coyote · recommender system · TikTok

Also: depression · fishing · Indiana · Instagram · operant conditioning · Twitter · White River (Indiana)

Later videos replying to this one

  • 2024-09-20 · Do I Regret TikTok? (Hank) — continues — “As you said on Tuesday, John, algorithms are in the business of working with our biology to control us.” (00:02:55)