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Viewer questions, 2008

126 viewer questions, requests and challenges answered in 16 videos uploaded in 2008, grouped by topic (the domain of the part of the video the answer is in), in upload order within a topic. Each question is followed by the answer as summarised, with the speaker and timestamp. Question Tuesday marks the Q&A series. Back to the overview.

Topics: Nerdfighteria (70) · Books & writing (48) · Personal life (4) · Internet & YouTube (3) · Everyday life (1)

Nerdfighteria

  • Q: “Would you rather have an elephant-sized puppy or a puppy-sized elephant?” (00:00:00) — The Return of Question Tuesdays · Question Tuesday
    • John (joke): Asked whether he'd rather have an elephant-sized puppy or a puppy-sized elephant, John picks the puppy-sized elephant and writes a letter asking Evolution to make him one. (00:00:00)
  • Q: “Who would win American Gladiators, Pirates or Ninjas?” (00:00:00) — The Return of Question Tuesdays · Question Tuesday
    • John (joke): Asked who would win American Gladiators, pirates or ninjas, John picks ninjas over scurvy-ridden pirates. (00:00:00)
  • Q: “Is Hank gonna write any more songs?” (00:00:36) — The Return of Question Tuesdays · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked whether Hank will write more songs, John passes the question to Hank. (00:00:36)
  • Q: “Who the F is Hank?” (00:00:36) — The Return of Question Tuesdays · Question Tuesday
    • John (joke): Asked 'Who the F is Hank?', John answers in the style of an astronomy entry: Hank is a ball of ice and rock once considered the ninth planet. (00:00:36)
  • Q: “So how often are you doing videos now? Once a week?” (00:01:06) — The Return of Question Tuesdays · Question Tuesday
    • John: John says one of the brothers will post at least one video per week, and on other days there will be pictures and videos from Nerdfighteria on the Ning. (00:01:06)
  • Q: “When will your next book signing be?” (00:01:06) — The Return of Question Tuesdays · Question Tuesday
    • John: John expects to tour a lot when Paper Towns comes out in September and says he will let viewers know about signings. (00:01:06)
  • Q: “What word do you hate saying and why?” (00:01:06) — The Return of Question Tuesdays · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked what word he hates saying, John names 'celebrity': he thinks the world would be better if the word and the idea behind it ceased to exist. (00:01:06)
  • Q: “Would you rather be a Game Boy, a Teletubby, Harry Potter, or George L-” (00:01:06) — The Return of Question Tuesdays · Question Tuesday
    • John (joke): Offered Game Boy, Teletubby, Harry Potter or George Lucas, John picks Harry Potter as the only 'real human', joking that a robot killed Lucas and made episodes 1-3. (00:01:35)
  • Q: “What was the name of that Russian ska song in the Happy Dance video?” (00:01:35) — The Return of Question Tuesdays · Question Tuesday
    • John: John says the Russian ska song in the Happy Dance video was called 'Think'. (00:01:35)
  • Q: “If you put the narrators from your two books together, mixed them into a big pot, and then boiled out some fiction, at the bottom of that pot would you eventually have your your adolescent self?” (00:01:35) — The Return of Question Tuesdays · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked whether his two narrators combined would make his adolescent self, John says 'kinda', but notes differences: for one, he wasn't a good student in high school. (00:02:04)
  • Q: “All-time favorite song?” (00:03:02) — The Return of Question Tuesdays · Question Tuesday
    • John: John names 'New Partner' by the Palace Brothers as his all-time favourite song. (00:03:02)
  • Q: “When will the movie of your book looking for- Alaska come out?” (00:03:02) — The Return of Question Tuesdays · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked when the Looking for Alaska movie will come out, John says he doesn't know; it's not in his hands. (00:03:02)
  • Q: “What is the most useless piece of trivia you know?” (00:03:32) — The Return of Question Tuesdays · Question Tuesday
    • John: John's most useless trivia: the political philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau really liked mooning people. (00:03:32)
  • Q: “Who the F is Hank?” (00:01:05) — QUESTION TUESDAYS (On Friday) · Question Tuesday
    • John (joke): Asked 'Who the F is Hank?', John answers with a mock spy dossier: CIA veteran, Navy SEAL, operative of a clandestine NSA division. (00:01:05)
  • Q: “Is Looking for Alaska a great book or the greatest book?” (00:02:06) — QUESTION TUESDAYS (On Friday) · Question Tuesday
    • John: John says Looking for Alaska is neither a great book nor the greatest book, but hopes it is good. (00:02:06)
  • Q: “Was the character Alaska in your book Looking for Alaska based on a real person?” (00:02:36) — QUESTION TUESDAYS (On Friday) · Question Tuesday
    • John: John says the character Alaska is not simply based on a real person: in some ways she is based on him, in other ways on other people. (00:02:36)
  • Q: “Could God create a burrito so hot that even God couldn't eat it?” (00:02:36) — QUESTION TUESDAYS (On Friday) · Question Tuesday
    • John: John calls the God-burrito omnipotence question 'a question wrongly put'; omnipotence questions interest him, but he thinks the question for believers is how and whether God works in the world and we can join that work. (00:02:36)
  • Q: “If two Nerdfighters have a baby, is the baby born awesome or does the baby have to develop into awesome?” (00:03:12) — QUESTION TUESDAYS (On Friday) · Question Tuesday
    • John: John introduces Daniel Biss as Brotherhood 2.0's resident mathematician and future state congressperson, asks whether his new baby looked awesome on the ultrasound, and concludes babies are born awesome. (00:03:12)
  • Q: “If you were forced to get a tattoo, what would it be?” (00:03:36) — QUESTION TUESDAYS (On Friday) · Question Tuesday
    • John: If forced to get a tattoo, John would probably get DFTBA on his hand, to remind himself he is supposed to be awesome. (00:03:36)
  • Q: “What's your favorite graphic novel of all time?” (00:01:06) — People Who Love Giraffes Who Love Giraffes · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked for his favourite graphic novel, John picks Maus by Art Spiegelman. (00:01:07)
  • Q: “If you were going on a long trip to the evil baby orphanage” (00:01:10) — People Who Love Giraffes Who Love Giraffes · Question Tuesday
    • John: For a trip to the Evil Baby Orphanage John would take A Love Supreme by John Coltrane and something by the Mountain Goats, though evil baby Stalin would steal them. (00:01:14)
  • Q: “You get to have a one-hour conversation with a Disney character.” (00:01:21) — People Who Love Giraffes Who Love Giraffes · Question Tuesday
    • John: Given an hour with a Disney character, John would ask Mickey how it feels to be single-handedly responsible for the death of reasonable American copyright law. (00:01:24)
  • Q: “What's the most interesting nickname you've ever had?” (00:01:30) — People Who Love Giraffes Who Love Giraffes · Question Tuesday
    • John: In high school John said Christian Slater had never made a bad movie, and people called him 'Kuffs' for a long time afterwards. (00:01:32)
  • Q: “Why do you think that all the most viewed vlogbrothers videos are by Hank?” (00:01:39) — People Who Love Giraffes Who Love Giraffes · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked why the most-viewed Vlogbrothers videos are Hank's, John guesses Hank is funnier, but says one owes its views to a screenshot of two giraffes having sex. (00:01:42)
  • Q: “If you had to vote for a republican presidential candidate,” (00:02:14) — People Who Love Giraffes Who Love Giraffes · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked which Republican presidential candidate he'd vote for, John jokes Abraham Lincoln; of living ones, he votes for the individual not the party and wants none of them. (00:02:17)
  • Q: “Why wouldn't you let Maureen Johnson, who had read your new book Paper Towns,” (00:02:27) — People Who Love Giraffes Who Love Giraffes · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked why Maureen Johnson, who has read Paper Towns, can't talk about it, John says for the same reason Hank can't: it's secret. (00:02:31)
  • Q: “The Iliad or the Odyssey?” (00:02:52) — People Who Love Giraffes Who Love Giraffes · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked to choose between the Iliad and the Odyssey, John picks the Odyssey. (00:02:53)
  • Q: “Has Helen Hunt seen The Helen Hunt Song yet?” (00:02:54) — People Who Love Giraffes Who Love Giraffes · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked whether Helen Hunt has seen the Helen Hunt song, John says no and tells Nerdfighters to keep fighting. (00:02:56)
  • Q: “How old is the yeti?” (00:02:57) — People Who Love Giraffes Who Love Giraffes · Question Tuesday
    • John: John says the Yeti is 28, and that seeing her would take money for a long expedition to Nepal. (00:02:58)
  • Q: “Which one of the presidential candidates would you most wanna play Twister with?” (00:03:04) — People Who Love Giraffes Who Love Giraffes · Question Tuesday
    • John (joke): John jokes he'd play Twister with Mike Huckabee, who doesn't look flexible, and that Ron Paul's Twister would drop every colour but yellow for freedom and cost; he expects Paul's supporters to attack. (00:03:07)
  • Q: “Did you have any fishing boat proceeds this year?” (00:00:00) — SETTING THE QUESTION TUESDAY WORLD RECORD · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked about fishing boat proceeds, John says only the hardest-core nerdfighters will get the reference: another year with no profit from the ocean's bounty. (00:00:00)
  • Q: “What advice can you give to young writers?” (00:00:28) — SETTING THE QUESTION TUESDAY WORLD RECORD · Question Tuesday
    • John: John's advice to young writers: read. (00:00:28)
  • Q: “What do you think was the best movie of last year?” (00:00:28) — SETTING THE QUESTION TUESDAY WORLD RECORD · Question Tuesday
    • John: John names favourites: 'Left on the Right Side of the Road' by Songs from a Hat, Juno as last year's (2007) best movie, Rushmore as his one movie, and the Mountain Goats' 'Up the Wolves'. (00:00:28)
  • Q: “What's your favorite quote?” (00:00:28) — SETTING THE QUESTION TUESDAY WORLD RECORD · Question Tuesday
    • John: John's favourite quote: 'You shall love your crooked neighbor with your crooked heart.' (00:00:28)
  • Q: “What is the opposite of jokes?” (00:00:28) — SETTING THE QUESTION TUESDAY WORLD RECORD · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked for the opposite of 'jokes', John answers 'tragedies' and uses it in a sentence. (00:00:28)
  • Q: “Would you rather drink your own pee or vote for one of the current Republican candidates?” (00:00:57) — SETTING THE QUESTION TUESDAY WORLD RECORD · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked whether he'd rather drink his own pee or vote for a current Republican candidate, John says it depends on how much pee: a few drops, sure. (00:00:57)
  • Q [request]: “I was wondering if I could just, like, come by your house someday.” (00:00:57) — SETTING THE QUESTION TUESDAY WORLD RECORD · Question Tuesday
    • John: A viewer living an hour away asks to come by John's house; John says that would be totally weird. (00:00:57)
  • Q: “If all the nerdfighters in the universe collaborated together to write a book, what would it be about?” (00:01:27) — SETTING THE QUESTION TUESDAY WORLD RECORD · Question Tuesday
    • John: John says a book written by all nerdfighters should be about the Evil Baby Orphanage, which would be a dream come true for him. (00:01:27)
  • Q [request]: “Can we have Daniel Biss make a cameo on a video?” (00:01:56) — SETTING THE QUESTION TUESDAY WORLD RECORD · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked whether Daniel Biss can make a cameo in a video, John says absolutely. (00:01:56)
  • Q: “Any book recommendations?” (00:01:56) — SETTING THE QUESTION TUESDAY WORLD RECORD · Question Tuesday
    • John: John recommends Suite Scarlett by Maureen Johnson and Three Little Words by Ashley Rhodes-Courter. (00:01:56)
  • Q: “Is there going to be a character named Hollis in Paper Towns?” (00:02:22) — SETTING THE QUESTION TUESDAY WORLD RECORD · Question Tuesday
    • John: John says there will be no character named Hollis in Paper Towns, though it is a funny question to hardcore fans of his books. (00:02:22)
  • Q: “Why doesn't the Yeti want to be seen?” (00:02:22) — SETTING THE QUESTION TUESDAY WORLD RECORD · Question Tuesday
    • John: The Yeti isn't seen on camera because, John says, her cute would break the camera. (00:02:22)
  • Q: “Why does no one at school talk to me even though I'm an intelligent, okay-looking, and funny 17-year-old?” (00:02:51) — SETTING THE QUESTION TUESDAY WORLD RECORD · Question Tuesday
    • John: To a 17-year-old whom no one at school talks to, John says he wishes he had an answer, but lots of people will talk to them at the Ning. (00:02:51)
  • Q: “If you could make one world problem go away forever, what would it be?” (00:03:20) — SETTING THE QUESTION TUESDAY WORLD RECORD · Question Tuesday
    • John: Answering several questions at once, John says yes to a trip to Nepal and to using his radio pieces as monologues, and names poverty as the world problem he would make go away. (00:03:20)
  • Q: “Are you guys ever going to throw a nerdfighting convention?” (00:03:50) — SETTING THE QUESTION TUESDAY WORLD RECORD · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked whether the brothers will ever throw a nerdfighting convention, John says he doesn't know, maybe, and asks what viewers think. (00:03:50)
  • Q: “If you could choose between getting a million dollars and going back in time and punching Hitler in the face, what would you choose?” (00:02:42) — Guys Love Giraffe Love · Question Tuesday
    • John (joke): Choosing between a million dollars and punching Hitler, John would time-travel to put evil baby Hitler, Stalin, Idi Amin and others in the Evil Baby Orphanage in Tibet, then sell the time machine. (00:02:42)
  • Q [challenge]: “There was a comment left on the Obama's Idiots channel saying that if all the vlogbrothers were going to be doing was delivering environmental and Democratic propaganda, they were not going to pay attention anymore.” (00:00:40) — Maine Inspires Deep Thoughts
    • Hank: Responding to a comment on the Obama's Idiots channel about 'environmental and Democratic propaganda', Hank partly agrees on the Democratic part: he doesn't want that to be what nerdfighting is. (00:00:40)
    • Hank: Hank says he is 100% in favour of there being Republican nerdfighters. (00:00:40)
    • Hank: But Hank doubts he wants anyone anti-environment in the community, because being a nerdfighter is about respect and caring for others. (00:01:09)
  • Q [request]: “Thing three, learn a few phrases of the Tobian language.” (00:00:00) — Don't Suck on That Bone · Question Tuesday
    • John: John says, like any foreign-language course, the Tobian site teaches ridiculous sentences, and recites three, planning to visit Tobi knowing only those. (00:00:48)
  • Q [request]: “Thing four, walk somewhere you would usually drive.” (00:01:17) — Don't Suck on That Bone · Question Tuesday
    • John: For thing four, walking somewhere he would usually drive, John walks to the location of thing ten and films the rest of the video on the way. (00:01:17)
  • Q [request]: “Thing five, spend more time at the Ning.” (00:01:17) — Don't Suck on That Bone · Question Tuesday
    • John: For thing five, more time on the Ning, John updated its favorite photos and started text-based Question Tuesdays there; Hank added a poll to vote on favorite Going Postal blurbs. (00:01:17)
  • Q [request]: “Speaking of which, thing six, bring back the Nerdfighter blurbing book club.” (00:01:47) — Don't Suck on That Bone · Question Tuesday
    • John: For thing six, John brings back the Nerdfighter Blurbing Book Club; its new book is The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger. (00:01:47)
  • Q [request]: “Thing 8, Hank the Nerdfighters want me to be like you and give an Xbox worth of money to a charity.” (00:02:45) — Don't Suck on That Bone · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked (thing eight) to be like Hank and give an Xbox's worth of money to a charity, John says he already did so before leaving, to Save the Children. (00:02:45)
  • Q [request]: “Thing 9, do a question Tuesday next Tuesday.” (00:02:45) — Don't Suck on That Bone · Question Tuesday
    • John: Agreeing to thing nine, John will do a Question Tuesday next Tuesday (1 July 2008) and asks Nerdfighters to leave him questions and comments. (00:02:45)
  • Q [request]: “And finally, Hank thing 10, go into a bookstore and secretly sign one of your books.” (00:02:45) — Don't Suck on That Bone · Question Tuesday
    • John: For thing ten, John goes into a bookstore to secretly sign one of his books, calling it one of his favorite secret hobbies; finding that the store seems not to have his books, he wonders what to sign. (00:02:45)
  • Q: “Was Brotherhood 2.0 initially your idea or was it Hank's?” (00:00:25) — Hank Tried to Kill Me With a Hammer · Question Tuesday
    • John: John says Brotherhood 2.0 was initially his idea; he has a crazy idea every 45 minutes and relies on Hank to reject them, but Hank said this one was not terrible. (00:00:25)
  • Q: “What's going on with the Nerdfighter event in Chicago on 8808?” (00:00:00) — Question Tuesday Returns (on a Wednesday) · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked about the 8/8/08 Nerdfighter event in Chicago, John says the Harold Washington Library will try to accommodate everyone for the 2 p.m. event, and there will be awesome for those who cannot get in. (00:00:00)
  • Q: “Do you get nervous when you talk in front of a large group of people?” (00:00:45) — Question Tuesday Returns (on a Wednesday) · Question Tuesday
    • John: John says he gets extremely nervous speaking to large groups, and on video he looks like his seventh-grade self attempting to fast dance. (00:00:45)
  • Q: “Why are you only charging $3.99 for the new paperback of an abundance of Katherines?” (00:00:45) — Question Tuesday Returns (on a Wednesday) · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked why the new An Abundance of Katherines paperback costs only $3.99, John says books are generally too expensive, he would rather have readers than money, and it thanks readers in advance for buying Paper Towns. (00:00:45)
  • Q: “What college did you attend?” (00:01:10) — Question Tuesday Returns (on a Wednesday) · Question Tuesday
    • John: John says he attended Kenyon for college and Indian Springs School for high school. (00:01:10)
  • Q: “What would your autobiography be called?” (00:01:40) — Question Tuesday Returns (on a Wednesday) · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked for his autobiography title, John offers "Does My Eye Look Okay to You?" or "As the Puff Riseth", each subtitled "The John Green Story". (00:01:40)
  • Q: “How did you propose to the Yeti?” (00:02:09) — Question Tuesday Returns (on a Wednesday) · Question Tuesday
    • John: John says he proposed to the Yeti by having Hendrik Hertzberg, a writer she likes whom he met at a conference, sign a book to Sarah asking "Will you marry John Green?". (00:02:09)
  • Q: “If you were a superhero, who would you be?” (00:02:09) — Question Tuesday Returns (on a Wednesday) · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked which superhero he would be, John names Pants Power, the superhero with power pants created by his "secret sister" Debbie. (00:02:09)
  • Q: “How soon after you finish one Do you start on the next one?” (00:02:09) — Question Tuesday Returns (on a Wednesday) · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked how soon after finishing one he starts the next, John says pretty much the next day, because he worries that if he waits longer he will just stop. (00:02:38)
  • Q: “What's your favorite Hank song?” (00:02:38) — Question Tuesday Returns (on a Wednesday) · Question Tuesday
    • John: John names "Helen Hunt" as his favourite Hank song, with "I Sold Your Dog on eBay" as his dark-horse pick because you can rock out to it. (00:02:38)
  • Q [request]: “Can I get a copy of the Green Green Manifesto?” (00:02:38) — Question Tuesday Returns (on a Wednesday) · Question Tuesday
    • John: John says he has just posted the Green Green Manifesto on the Ning. (00:02:38)
  • Q: “Will there be another Project for Awesome?” (00:03:07) — Question Tuesday Returns (on a Wednesday) · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked whether there will be another Project for Awesome, John answers that Secret Brother Tom did not call it the "first annual" Project for Awesome for nothing. (00:03:07)
  • Q: “Did Hank get better grades than you?” (00:03:07) — Question Tuesday Returns (on a Wednesday) · Question Tuesday
    • John: John says Hank got better grades than he did. (00:03:07)
  • Q: “Do you know the girl on the cover of Paper Towns?” (00:02:10) — Paper Towns and Touring Question Tuesday · Question Tuesday
    • John: John does not know the girl on the Paper Towns cover personally but helped pick her; he says she is Canadian. (00:02:10)
  • Q: “Have you picked a punishment yet?” (00:02:10) — Paper Towns and Touring Question Tuesday · Question Tuesday
    • John: John says the brothers do not pick their punishment; Nerdfighters do, and he names the most popular suggestions. (00:02:10)
  • Q [request]: “Could you record yourself doing your happy dance for us in eighteen different states?” (00:03:40) — The Unzipped Zipper (Of Your Pants)
    • John: John finds one request he can fulfil, recording his happy dance in 18 different states, and says yes. (00:03:37)

Books & writing

  • Q: “How's your diet coming along?” (00:02:04) — The Return of Question Tuesdays · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked about his diet and Weight Watchers, John protests that it isn't going well and the questions are mean. (00:02:04)
  • Q: “Does writing about symbolism slash other English stuff really help you become a writer?” (00:02:04) — The Return of Question Tuesdays · Question Tuesday
    • John: John argues that writing about symbolism and other 'English stuff' really does help you become a writer, because it shows how good stories work. (00:02:04)
  • Q: “Are you doing any readings or public events in the near future?” (00:00:00) — QUESTION TUESDAYS (On Friday) · Question Tuesday
    • John: John says he will perform that night (21 and over) at the Hideout in Chicago with his friend Mark Bazer (name as heard). (00:00:00)
  • Q: “What happened in Depew, New York, where a few people were trying to remove your book from the curriculum?” (00:00:00) — QUESTION TUESDAYS (On Friday) · Question Tuesday
    • John: John reports many people attended Tuesday's (5 February 2008) Depew school board meeting on his book, which he appreciates, but procedure let none of them speak. (00:00:00)
  • Q: “Is there an official release date for Paper Towns?” (00:00:36) — QUESTION TUESDAYS (On Friday) · Question Tuesday
    • John: John gives Paper Towns' official release date as October 16th, joking that he had been lying when he said September. (00:00:36)
  • Q: “Paper Towns, dedicated to the nerdfighters or no?” (00:00:53) — Belated Book-tacular Questions · Question Tuesday
    • John: Paper Towns is not dedicated to the Nerdfighters, but they are in the acknowledgements. (00:00:53)
  • Q: “What's your favorite reference book about Islam?” (00:00:53) — Belated Book-tacular Questions · Question Tuesday
    • John: John's favorite reference book about Islam is No God But God by Reza Aslan. (00:00:53)
  • Q: “Will you ever write a sequel to one of your books?” (00:00:53) — Belated Book-tacular Questions · Question Tuesday
    • John: John probably won't write a sequel to one of his books, though he might write a sequel to a non-existent book. (00:00:53)
  • Q: “Who's your favorite German writer?” (00:01:22) — Belated Book-tacular Questions · Question Tuesday
    • John: John's favorite German writer is Goethe, whose individual sentences, he says, outclass his entire body of work. (00:01:22)
  • Q: “What's your favorite book title to add in your pants to?” (00:01:22) — Belated Book-tacular Questions · Question Tuesday
    • John: For the 'in your pants' game, John's favorite book title at the moment is Amy Krouse Rosenthal's Little Pea. (00:01:22)
  • Q: “I'm interested in conjoined twins. What are your favorite books on the subject?” (00:01:22) — Belated Book-tacular Questions · Question Tuesday
    • John: John, who owns many books on conjoined twins, recommends One of Us by Alice Dreger (nonfiction) and God's Fool by Mark Slouka (fiction). (00:01:22)
  • Q: “Who is the most interesting author you've ever met?” (00:01:52) — Belated Book-tacular Questions · Question Tuesday
    • John: The most interesting author John has met is Judy Blume. (00:01:52)
  • Q: “How long is Paper Towns?” (00:01:52) — Belated Book-tacular Questions · Question Tuesday
    • John: Paper Towns is 308 pages long if the acknowledgements are counted. (00:01:52)
  • Q: “What's going on with those people who are trying to ban looking for Alaska?” (00:01:52) — Belated Book-tacular Questions · Question Tuesday
    • John: On the effort to ban Looking for Alaska: the school board of Depew, New York, which John calls made of awesome, voted unanimously to keep it in the curriculum. (00:01:52)
  • Q: “If you and Hank were characters in the book Into Thin Air, would you survive?” (00:01:52) — Belated Book-tacular Questions · Question Tuesday
    • John: John says he and Hank would not survive as characters in Into Thin Air; he would die on the walk to Everest. (00:01:52)
  • Q: “How come your website is called sparksflyup.com?” (00:01:52) — Belated Book-tacular Questions · Question Tuesday
    • John: John's website name sparksflyup.com comes from a line in the Book of Job: man is born to trouble as the sparks fly upward. (00:01:52)
  • Q: “What's your favorite personification of death in literature?” (00:02:30) — Belated Book-tacular Questions · Question Tuesday
    • John: John's favorite personification of death in literature is in Andrew Marvell's poem To His Coy Mistress. (00:02:30)
  • Q: “Any favorite poets other than Walt Whitman?” (00:03:00) — Belated Book-tacular Questions · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked for favorite poets besides Walt Whitman, John recites unattributed lines from several poems, then can't find his Langston Hughes book in his cataloged home library. (00:03:00)
  • Q: “What are your favorite last words from an author?” (00:03:00) — Belated Book-tacular Questions · Question Tuesday
    • John: John recounts Emily Dickinson's last words ('I must go in, the fog is rising') and that Edna St. Vincent Millay died falling downstairs, her head on a poem ending 'Beautiful this day, no matter who has died'. (00:03:00)
  • Q: “What do you think Shakespeare would vlog about?” (00:03:00) — Belated Book-tacular Questions · Question Tuesday
    • John: John says Shakespeare would vlog about the poor quality of insults on YouTube. (00:03:00)
  • Q: “What's your opinion on Catcher in the Rye?” (00:03:45) — Belated Book-tacular Questions · Question Tuesday
    • John: John thinks The Catcher in the Rye is excellent and that anyone who disagrees is, respectfully, wrong. (00:03:45)
  • Q: “What's your favorite line in Hamlet?” (00:03:45) — Belated Book-tacular Questions · Question Tuesday
    • John: John's favorite line in Hamlet is 'The rest is silence.' (00:03:45)
  • Q: “What's your favorite band?” (00:00:00) — Guys Love Giraffe Love · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked for favourites, John names The Mountain Goats as his band, Mother Night as his favourite Vonnegut novel and Song of Solomon as his favourite Toni Morrison book. (00:00:00)
  • Q: “How does Steinbeck's Indubious Battle relate to the average teenager's life?” (00:00:00) — Guys Love Giraffe Love · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked how In Dubious Battle relates to teenagers, John rejects the idea that readers must identify with characters to enjoy a book; it is about group psychology and the machine and its cogs. (00:00:00)
  • Q: “Edward or Jacob?” (00:00:41) — Guys Love Giraffe Love · Question Tuesday
    • John: On Edward or Jacob, John calls Edward Cullen a beautiful but empty vessel for our hopes; people who are mostly ideas attract more, but loving one is not sustainable, so he picks Jacob. (00:00:41)
  • Q: “What did you do before you became an author?” (00:00:43) — Hank Tried to Kill Me With a Hammer · Question Tuesday
    • John: Before becoming an author, John worked for most of his post-college life at Booklist magazine, and also as a children's hospital chaplain and on a Steak 'n Shake graveyard shift. (00:00:43)
  • Q: “What advice do you have for writers who can't seem to finish their books?” (00:03:12) — Hank Tried to Kill Me With a Hammer · Question Tuesday
    • John: To writers who can't finish their books, John offers little advice beyond 'just keep at it', noting it took him four years to finish Looking for Alaska. (00:03:12)
  • Q [request]: “Can I have one of the advanced readers copies of Paper Towns?” (00:03:22) — Hank Tried to Kill Me With a Hammer · Question Tuesday
    • John: John has no Paper Towns advance copies to give away; earlier winners are still waiting for theirs, which he hopes to rectify tomorrow. (00:03:22)
  • Q: “When does Paper Towns come out?” (00:00:00) — Paper Towns and Touring Question Tuesday · Question Tuesday
    • John: John says Paper Towns comes out in 22 days, on October 16, and repeats the date several times. (00:00:00)
  • Q: “Why aren't you coming to Dallas, Washington, D.C., Tucson, Arizona, Tempe, New Mexico?” (00:00:00) — Paper Towns and Touring Question Tuesday · Question Tuesday
    • John: Answering why the tour skips certain cities, John says that over the next five to six weeks he is going everywhere he possibly can. (00:00:43)
  • Q: “Are you going to be doing any events before your tour starts?” (00:01:12) — Paper Towns and Touring Question Tuesday · Question Tuesday
    • John: Before the tour, John will be in the Twin Cities this Friday (26 September 2008) and Saturday and at a public event in Berlin, Germany, on October 1. (00:01:12)
  • Q: “Are these events free and open to the public?” (00:01:41) — Paper Towns and Touring Question Tuesday · Question Tuesday
    • John: John says the events are entirely free and open to the public, and tickets are not needed except in a couple of cases. (00:01:41)
  • Q: “Will we finally get to see the Yeti?” (00:03:09) — Paper Towns and Touring Question Tuesday · Question Tuesday
    • John: John says the Yeti will be at many of the events, unless he has been making her up all along. (00:03:09)
  • Q: “Will Paper Towns be out in Canada at the same time as it will be in the United States?” (00:00:29) — Question Friday · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked, John says Paper Towns will be out in Canada at the same time as in the United States. (00:00:29)
  • Q: “Do you think deconstructionism as a part of literary criticism - and take something away from the author?” (00:00:29) — Question Friday · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked whether deconstructionism takes something away from the author, John says maybe, but authors don't own books, readers do. (00:00:58)
  • Q: “Is Bubbles the nerdfighting puppy neutered?” (00:00:58) — Question Friday · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked if the Nerdfighting puppy is neutered, John says yes, joking that he had threatened to castrate Willy for peeing inside and then did it. (00:00:58)
  • Q: “We know that Joe Biden anagrams to I Need Job, but does Sarah Palin anagram to anything interesting?” (00:01:43) — Question Friday · Question Tuesday
    • John: John says Joe Biden anagrams to 'I Need Job' and Sarah Palin to 'Las Pirana'. (00:01:43)
  • Q: “What's going to happen at these nerdfighter gatherings?” (00:01:43) — Question Friday · Question Tuesday
    • John: At the Nerdfighter gatherings, John says, songs will be sung, Paper Towns read, books discussed, questions answered and stuff signed. (00:02:37)
  • Q: “Are you an octopus?” (00:01:43) — Question Friday · Question Tuesday
    • John (joke): Asked if he is an octopus, John reasons an octopus would stick to the wall if he jumped against it, and declares he is not an octopus. (00:01:43)
  • Q: “How do you feel about paper towns being sold early in some places?” (00:02:37) — Question Friday · Question Tuesday
    • John: John is not thrilled that Paper Towns is being sold early in some places but says there is nothing he can do about it. (00:02:37)
  • Q: “Will you sign books other than Paper Towns while you're on tour?” (00:03:15) — Question Friday · Question Tuesday
    • John: John will sign books other than Paper Towns on tour, anything except skin. (00:03:15)
  • Q: “I was wondering if you ever considered teaching.” (00:00:29) — Vital Status Report from NYC
    • John: Asked whether he has considered teaching, John says he loves reading books critically with young people, finds it hugely fulfilling, and definitely thinks about teaching. (00:00:29)
  • Q [request]: “I think you should do NaNoWriMo in November, which is national novel writing month!” (00:00:46) — The Unzipped Zipper (Of Your Pants)
    • John: Asked to do NaNoWriMo, John says he cannot write a novel in a month and apologises that doing it in November is impossible. (00:00:46)
  • Q [request]: “Make sure when they make a movie of Paper Towns they don't ruin it!” (00:01:18) — The Unzipped Zipper (Of Your Pants)
    • John: Asked to make sure a Paper Towns movie doesn't ruin the book, John says a movie can't ruin a book: All the King's Men is still great despite Sean Penn's unconvincing accent. (00:01:18)
  • Q [request]: “You can repay us by promoting literature online and also in schools everywhere!” (00:01:41) — The Unzipped Zipper (Of Your Pants)
    • John: Answering a request to promote literature in schools, John tells how he spoke at a Seattle high school about why books matter while his zipper was flagrantly unzipped, which a student pointed out at question time. (00:01:41)
  • Q [request]: “Can you just, like, give me a hug? You're just like a giant teddy bear, and I just love you.” (00:02:33) — The Unzipped Zipper (Of Your Pants)
    • John: Asked for a hug by a viewer who calls him a giant teddy bear, John objects to 'giant' and admits Weight Watchers hasn't gone well on the road. (00:02:33)
  • Q [request]: “It would be awesome if you went on a national campaign to make skydiving legal for minors.” (00:02:47) — The Unzipped Zipper (Of Your Pants)
    • John: Asked to campaign to make skydiving legal for minors, John says skydiving should not be legal for anyone; people should not jump out of planes. (00:02:47)
  • Q [request]: “Make my Walmart get Paper Towns!” (00:03:05) — The Unzipped Zipper (Of Your Pants)
    • John: Asked to get Walmart to stock Paper Towns, John argues buying books at Walmart is a bad idea: if everyone did, only about 30 to 50 books would be published a year, chilling American cultural discourse. (00:03:05)

Personal life

  • Q: “Have you ever been really jealous of Hank?” (00:02:13) — Guys Love Giraffe Love · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked if he is jealous of Hank, John says no, although Hank has eight of their nine most viewed videos. (00:02:13)
  • Q: “Dude, how many chocolate-flavored espresso beans did you eat today?!” (00:00:32) — Adorable Puppy Injury!!!!
    • Hank: Hank says his most frequent question is how many chocolate-flavored espresso beans he ate; the answer is always none, as he religiously avoids caffeine though he loves coffee's taste. (00:00:32)
  • Q [request]: “One, see more Willy. Two, see more of the Yeti.” (00:00:00) — Don't Suck on That Bone · Question Tuesday
    • John: John frames the video as doing ten things the Nerdfighters asked of him; the first two were to see more of Willy and more of the Yeti (Sarah). (00:00:00)
  • Q: “What's the meanest thing you ever did to Hank?” (00:01:24) — Hank Tried to Kill Me With a Hammer · Question Tuesday
    • John: John sums up that, according to their mom, the meanest thing Hank did to him was try to kill him with a hammer, and his own was spilling red cough syrup on Hank's bedspread and hugging him too hard. (00:02:33)

Internet & YouTube

  • Q: “What's the key to becoming a popular video blogger on YouTube?” (00:01:10) — Guys Love Giraffe Love · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked the key to YouTube popularity, John says YouTube's new demographics feature shows Nerdfighters are extremely loyal, which he thinks is because nerdfighting is something they all do together. (00:01:10)
  • Q: “What would you like your last words to be?” (00:01:44) — Guys Love Giraffe Love · Question Tuesday
    • John: Asked for his last words, John says romantic last words are almost always lame; the only exception he knows, W. C. Fields's words to Carlotta, is spoiled because she was his mistress. (00:01:44)
  • Q: “How often do you get recognized?” (00:02:48) — Hank Tried to Kill Me With a Hammer · Question Tuesday
    • John: John says he is recognized fairly often in big public spaces and finds it nice to meet Nerdfighters; at Disneyland's Indiana Jones ride a fan's little brother asked if he was wearing a disguise. (00:02:48)

Everyday life

  • Q: “people often ask me, John, do you have any travel tips?” (00:01:42) — Travel Tips, Delivered Hoarsely
    • John: Asked for travel tips, John's first is never to underestimate Purell; he playfully says he is now a Purell addict who puts it on his face. (00:01:42)