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September 27th: Bionic Woman v. Helen Hunt on PCP

2007-09-27 · challenge / punishment · Hank · 3:09 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Pop culture (also: Personal life) · mode: Comedy & performance · tags: punishment or challenge, song or performance

Hank, getting sick and facing a deadline, performs the punishment set by the person he owes work to: a mock thesis on whether he would rather fight Helen Hunt on PCP or the new Bionic Woman, concluding he would rather comfort Helen Hunt.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Hank is getting sick; it hurts to speak, so he tries charades

  • ★★ Hank thinks he is getting sick: raw throat, sinus headache, drippy nose, and it hurts to speak. (hedged) — 00:00:10
  • ★ Because the videos must be text-less, speaking only, Hank suggests telling his news by charades instead. (playful, hedged) — 00:00:10 · No textual communication

00:00:46 — Hank's deadline and the punishment: a thesis on whom he would rather fight; watching Bionic Woman online

  • ★★★ Hank has a deadline and is freaking out; the person he owes the work to set a punishment for missing it, which Hank performs just in case, though he has not missed it yet. (playful, hedged) — 00:00:46
  • ★★★ The punishment is a thesis on whom Hank would rather fight: Helen Hunt in an after-school special on PCP, or the new Bionic Woman before she adjusts to her implants. (playful) — 00:00:46
  • ★★ Hank watched the NBC show online, which he says added to his lateness, and his cold makes writing and being witty hard. — 00:00:46

00:01:30 — The thesis: strength, nausea, and the conclusion that he would rather comfort Helen Hunt; rhyming tribute to Helen Hunt

  • ★★ Hank argues PCP can unleash unusual strength, but the Bionic Woman's enhancement, which makes no biological sense to him, leaves her much stronger than Helen Hunt on PCP. (playful, hedged) — 00:01:30
  • ★★ Hank says both opponents would likely vomit on him, since bionic implants and PCP both cause nausea, so he must decide on other grounds. (playful, hedged) — 00:01:30
  • ★★★ Hank concludes the best outcome of either fight is consoling the confused woman afterwards, and based on the show he would rather comfort Helen Hunt. (playful, hedged) — 00:02:26

00:02:48 — Short video to get back to writing; hopes to be well before Wednesday's singing; sign-off

  • ★★ The video is short because Hank must get back to writing; he hopes to feel better before Wednesday, when he would hate to have to sing with this voice. (hedged) — 00:02:48

Humor (significant)

  • Speaking hurts, but the channel is speaking only, so Hank proposes charades. — 00:00:10

    “I could tell you what's going on, but with my hands.”

  • Hank weighs one hazard he thinks equal for both opponents. — 00:01:30

    “and that is the danger of being hurled upon”

  • Hank contrasts Helen Hunt thrashing in the schoolyard dirt with the Bionic Woman. — 00:02:00

    “being flipped onto my head by a nauseated, confused, young orphan”

  • Having chosen to comfort Helen Hunt, Hank declares his love in rhymes on her name. — 00:02:26

    “She faces the brunt of the twister of my burning want. Helen Hunt. Eh, mad about her.”

Threads in this video

Mentioned

Central: Bionic Woman · Helen Hunt (actor)

Also: Mad About You (“Eh, mad about her.”) · NBC · No textual communication · phencyclidine

Also centred on Helen Hunt (actor): A Short History of the PUPPY SIZED ELEPHANT · Happy Birthday To Me! · Chemo Cow Body Odor YouTube Helen Hunt Commute

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