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A Short History of the PUPPY SIZED ELEPHANT

2008-01-21 · letter vlog · John · 3:54 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Science & nature (also: Nerdfighteria) · mode: Explainer · tags: community lore, punishment or challenge, civic or action cta, song or performance

In a four-part letter John shows nerdfighters' puppy-sized elephant pictures, explains that insular dwarfism really did produce small elephants that died out about 4,000 years ago, defends his glasses, and launches a system in which nerdfighters earn the right to punish the brothers by completing projects, the first being to prove Helen Hunt has seen Hank's song about her.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Brothers Karamazov four-part joke; Part 1: nerdfighters' puppy-sized elephant pictures and a 'Photoshop for reality'

  • ★ John says his video is like Dostoevsky's The Brothers Karamazov in one way only: it comes in four parts. (joke) — 00:00:00
  • ★★ Since Evolution may take millions of years to answer his letter asking for a puppy-sized elephant, John shows the puppy-sized elephants nerdfighters made for him instead. (playful) — 00:00:00 · puppy sized elephant, Nerdfighteria, made of awesome
  • ★ Looking at the pictures, John wishes for a 'Photoshop for reality' to shrink elephants, nerd up humans and delete malaria. (joke) — 00:00:37

00:01:06 — Part 2: insular dwarfism and the extinct dwarf elephants; Evolution's imagined reply

  • ★★ John says several nerdfighters pointed out right after his last video that evolution had in fact made puppy-sized elephants, thousands of years ago. — 00:01:06 · Nerdfighteria, puppy sized elephant
  • ★★★ John explains insular dwarfism: large animals isolated on islands (e.g. after an ice age) breed themselves smaller over generations so the population can keep growing on limited resources. — 00:01:06
  • ★★ John says insular dwarfism has been seen in many large animals, including dinosaurs, humans and elephants. — 00:01:35
  • ★★ John says there were several kinds of miniature elephants, some so small they were only about three feet tall. — 00:01:59
  • ★★★ John says the last species of puppy-sized elephant is believed to have gone extinct about 4,000 years ago. (hedged) — 00:01:59 · puppy sized elephant
  • ★★ John says it is not clear what killed the dwarf elephants off, but it might have been people. (hedged) — 00:01:59
  • ★★ John imagines Evolution's reply: it made him a puppy-sized elephant, but humans killed it; you're welcome for your thumbs. (joke) — 00:01:59 · puppy sized elephant

00:02:29 — Part 3: John keeps his glasses; Part 4: projects that earn nerdfighters the right to punish the brothers

  • ★★ John says people are still criticising his nerd glasses, but he won't take them off because they're famous. (playful) — 00:02:29
  • ★★★ Because nerdfighters miss punishing the brothers, John announces projects: when viewers complete one, they earn the right to punish or challenge the brothers, with the wives keeping veto power. — 00:02:29 · Nerdfighteria, Punishment, Sarah Urist Green, Katherine Green
  • ★★ John says that, under this system, the stunning success of the first annual Project for Awesome would have earned nerdfighters a punishment. — 00:02:29 · Project for Awesome, Punishment

00:03:14 — First project: prove Helen Hunt has seen Hank's song; phone skit with Orlando Bloom ('taking Hank Green to Isengard')

  • ★★★ First project: make sure Helen Hunt has seen Hank's months-old song about her and provide proof; if nerdfighters succeed, they can punish both brothers. — 00:03:14 · Hank Green
  • ★★ In a phone skit John calls Orlando Bloom and asks him to put on his elf ears and get his bow and arrow, because 'they're taking Hank Green to Isengard'. (fiction) — 00:03:14 · Taking the Hobbits to Isengard, Hank Green

Humor (significant)

  • John says today's video is exactly like The Brothers Karamazov in one way, ruling out patricide and free will. — 00:00:00

    “Does it come in four parts? Yes!”

  • Explaining insular dwarfism, John casts Hank as the large animal crossing an ice bridge. — 00:01:06

    “So Hank, say you're a large animal, and you are.”

  • John imagines the letter Evolution would send back after humans may have killed off the dwarf elephants. — 00:01:59

    “We made you a puppy-sized elephant, but then you killed it.”

  • John phones Orlando Bloom and asks him to put on his elf ears and get out his bow and arrow. — 00:03:14

    “they're taking Hank Green to Isengard.”

Threads in this video

Where the stories that moved here went next

Mentioned

Central: Helen Hunt (actor) · Helen Hunt (song) · insular dwarfism · Punishment

Also: People: Fyodor Dostoevsky · Katherine Green · Orlando Bloom · Sarah Urist Green

Projects: Project for Awesome

Works: The Brothers Karamazov

Terms: made of awesome · puppy sized elephant

Concepts: evolution

Products: Adobe Photoshop

Memes: Taking the Hobbits to Isengard (“they're taking Hank Green to Isengard”)

Also centred on Helen Hunt (actor): September 27th: Bionic Woman v. Helen Hunt on PCP · Happy Birthday To Me! · Chemo Cow Body Odor YouTube Helen Hunt Commute

Also centred on Helen Hunt (song): An Evening of Awesome at Carnegie Hall

Replies to

  • continues · The Return of Question Tuesdays — “in my last video, I wrote an open letter to Evolution requesting that Evolution make me a puppy-sized elephant.”

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