On Loving One Another or Dying

2008-11-05 · letter vlog · John, Hank · 3:53 · watch on YouTube

Topic: US politics & society (also: Personal life, Nerdfighteria, Books & writing) · mode: Personal essay · tags: timely hook, on location, song or performance

After a Louisville stop where Hank sang his Paper Towns song, John argues that, as Paper Towns' characters see only funhouse-mirror reflections of Margo, political discourse, even among Nerdfighters, fails because people do not imagine others complexly: opponents are not evil but complicated people.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Clip of Hank singing his Paper Towns song in Louisville; the song is on the Paper Towns secret collaboration album; John tries to outlast Hank's long note

• ★★ John opens with 20 seconds of Hank singing in front of many Nerdfighters in Louisville, a song only available on the Paper Towns secret collaboration album. — 00:00:00 · Nerdfighteria, Paper Towns collab album, Paper Towns
• ★★ John says it is fun when he makes something up and someone else makes something up about the thing he made up. — 00:00:00 · Paper Towns
• ★★ John, who says he can't sing on key, sometimes sings along to Hank's drawn-out 'Vaseline' note to try to outlast him; he had consistently failed until that night. (playful) — 00:00:00

00:00:58 — John finally outlasts Hank; reads from Paper Towns; the problem with finding Margo is that the characters do not see her

• ★★ Afterwards John read from the part of Paper Towns that inspired the song and ranted about the importance of imagining the other with more complexity. — 00:00:58 · Paper Towns, imagine others complexly
• ★★★ John says the problem with finding Margo, for Q and the other characters, is not the mystery: they don't see Margo, only a funhouse-mirror reflection of themselves. — 00:00:58 · Paper Towns, perspective-taking

00:01:38 — Funhouse-mirror Margo; Spiegelman means mirror maker; Nerdfighter political discourse plummets into name-calling

• ★★ John says Spiegelman is a German word meaning 'mirror maker', the man in a German village who made the mirrors. — 00:01:38
• ★★ John calls the Nerdfighter community one of the most thoughtful and respectful communities he has ever been privileged to be part of. — 00:01:38 · Nerdfighteria
• ★★★ But in political discourse, John says, the quality of Nerdfighter conversation plummets on all sides into name-calling and oversimplification. — 00:01:38 · Nerdfighteria

00:02:24 — Failure to imagine others; opponents are not evil but complicated; Auden: we must love one another or die

• ★★★ John believes this results from not doing a good job of imagining what it's like to be other people. — 00:02:24 · perspective-taking
• ★★★ John says people who disagree with you are not evil, do not want to destroy America, and are neither terrorists nor fascists, but complicated people who contain multitudes. — 00:02:24 · United States

• ★★★ John closes the argument with W. H. Auden's line that we must love one another or die. — 00:02:24

  “we must love one another or die”

00:02:54 — John's sign-off to Hank; on the road John introduces the Cows game with Katherine

• ★★ On the road, John says Katherine (Hank's wife) travels with them and they play a cow-spotting game called Cows; she has dominated him, but he went up seven to nothing while the other two slept. (playful) — 00:02:54 · Katherine Green

00:03:19 — Katherine dominates at Cows, but John goes seven to nothing while the other two sleep

Threads in this video

• milestone · Tour de Nerdfighting 2008 edition — The Tour de Nerdfighting reaches Louisville, where Hank sings to many Nerdfighters and John reads from Paper Towns. (00:00:00)
• restate · Can we imagine other people complexly, and what stops us? — John says Paper Towns' characters fail to find Margo because they see only reflections of themselves, and that poor political discourse results from failing to imagine what it is like to be other people. (00:02:24)
• restate · Is there really an 'us' and a 'them', or are distant and different people just facets of us? — John says political opponents are not evil, terrorists or fascists but complicated people who contain multitudes just as you do. (00:02:24)
• looked back · Paper Towns collab album: free album for proving dedication to Paper Towns (2008) — John opens with 20 seconds of Hank singing in front of many Nerdfighters in Louisville, a song only available on the Paper Towns secret collaboration album. (00:00:00)

Where the stories that moved here went next

• Tour de Nerdfighting 2008 edition — completed; last: looked back, 2026-07-14

Mentioned

Central: imagine others complexly · Margo Roth Spiegelman · Paper Towns · perspective-taking

Also: People: Katherine Green · W. H. Auden

Projects: Paper Towns collab album

Works: Hank's Paper Towns song (2008)

Concepts: ethical dualism · political polarization

Places: Louisville, Kentucky · United States

Characters: Quentin Jacobsen

Only in the description or credits: United States presidential election

Also centred on imagine others complexly: Changing Our Business a Bit

Also centred on Margo Roth Spiegelman: Paper Towns Tastic Question Tuesday

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