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Neck Beards and Fitness Challenges

2009-06-20 · letter vlog · Hank · 3:18 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Nerdfighteria (also: Personal life, Philosophy & meaning) · mode: Comedy & performance · tags: community lore, punishment or challenge

Hank rambles about beards and shaving, says the world's unfairness works in his and his viewers' favour, and shows off his new Wii Fit while taunting John about their fitness challenge.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Thanks the Yeti for vetoing John's beard; neck beards; Hank can't grow a beard but must shave

  • ★★ Hank thanks the Yeti for vetoing at least half of John's beard and says Green men were not meant to wear beards. (playful) — 00:00:00 · Sarah Urist Green
  • ★ Hank says he can't grow a real beard, only neck, chin and moustache hair, and neck beards always look bad; he has to shave about once a week, which annoys him. (playful, hedged) — 00:00:00
  • ★ Hank says he and John just had a conversation on Instant Messenger, which the brothers' current rules now allow. — 00:00:29 · No textual communication

00:00:58 — IM chat with John about fairness: the world isn't fair, and that favours us

  • ★★★ Hank says the world isn't fair, and if it were their lives would be worse: most viewers likely live far better than the average person, with clean water, a roof and hot showers. (hedged) — 00:00:58

00:01:27 — Hank's new Wii Fit: weighing it against the cat, BMI, exercising, the $20 dance pad; forgets the challenge's name

  • ★★ Hank got a Wii Fit, which will give him his body mass index; he doubts it will do more for his health than his $20 High School Musical 3 DDR dance pad. (playful) — 00:01:27

00:02:31 — Taunting John in the fitness challenge: push-ups, Wii Fit age, BMI 24 to 22; top-secret Monday collab

  • ★★★ Hank tells John he is ready to take him on in the fitness challenge, though he can't recall its name; he did six push-ups, his Wii Fit age went from 28 to 45, and his BMI went down. (playful) — 00:02:31
  • ★★ Hank boasts he will beat John in body mass index: he started at 24 and says he only has to get to 22; he tells John to start doing push-ups. (playful) — 00:02:31
  • ★★ Hank says he has to make the collab video he and John are doing for Monday, which is very exciting and top secret. — 00:02:31

00:03:12 — Stay tuned; sign-off

Humor (significant)

  • Hank explains why neck beards always look bad: like a swallowed weasel that got stuck. — 00:00:00

    “then it died trying to claw its way out of your neck”

  • Hank scolds himself for complaining that life isn't fair: if it were fair... — 00:00:58

    “You have eaten poop at least once in your life.”

  • Hank compares his new Wii Fit with his cat. — 00:01:27

    “The Wii Fit is heavier than the cat. The cat is cuter than the Wii Fit, though.”

  • Hank reports his fitness progress to John. — 00:02:31

    “my Wii Fit age has already changed from 28 the first day to 45 the second day.”

Threads in this video

Mentioned

Central: social privilege

Also: People: Sarah Urist Green

Projects: Brotherhood 2.0 · Nerdfighter Fitness Challenge

Works: Dance Dance Revolution · High School Musical 3: Senior Year · I Kissed a Girl · Wii Fit

Rituals: No textual communication

Concepts: Body mass index

Also centred on social privilege: Time for AWESOME · Started from the Bottom: Benjamin Franklin and Drake Compared · Deserving · Should I Feel Guilty? · How I (barely) Passed 11th Grade English · ...Not My Proudest Moment

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