Skip to content

This Isn't Hogwarts! A Harry Potter Song

2009-07-15 · song · Hank · 4:00 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Pop culture · mode: Comedy & performance · tags: song or performance, timely hook, self promotion, guest or collab

Hank performs a comic song about a nerd stuck in public school wishing it were Hogwarts, then says he wrote it because the school system is degrading, for the Half-Blood Prince release and the Accio Deathly Hallows anniversary.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Song 'This Isn't Hogwarts': public school as a concrete box versus wizard school

  • ★★★ In the song, a student hates public school, a 'concrete box' where pictures never talk and teachers don't care, and wishes it were Hogwarts. (fiction) — 00:00:51

    “This isn't Hogwarts, this is a concrete box”

  • ★★ The narrator sings he is proud to be a nerd, but public school is no place for a wizard. (fiction) — 00:00:51

    “public school ain't no place for a wizard”

00:03:02 — Three reasons for the song (school system, Half-Blood Prince release, Accio Deathly Hallows anniversary); midnight showing with Katherine; Harry Potter Truth or Fail

  • ★★★ Hank says he wrote the song partly because he truly believes the US school system is degrading quickly and thinks it could learn from Hogwarts. (hedged) — 00:03:02 · education
  • ★★ Hank notes the song marks the release of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince today. — 00:03:02 · Harry Potter (book series)
  • ★★ Hank says it is nearly the third anniversary of 'Accio Deathly Hallows', the song that kicked the Vlogbrothers into the mainstream. — 00:03:02 · Vlogbrothers
  • ★★ Hank and Katherine went to the midnight showing of Half-Blood Prince last night, found it awesome and saw Nerdfighters there. — 00:03:02 · Katherine Green, Nerdfighteria
  • ★★ Hank announces a Harry Potter Truth or Fail today, guest hosted by Kristina Horner of the Parselmouths and the Five Awesome Girls. — 00:03:02 · Harry Potter (book series)

00:03:43 — Truth or Fail guest host Kristina Horner; song and video with Lauren Fairweather; out of time

  • ★★ Hank says he and Lauren Fairweather of the Moaning Myrtles wrote and recorded a song together and just made its video. — 00:03:43

Humor (dominant)

  • Public school versus Hogwarts: no talking portraits, teachers who don't care. — 00:00:51

    “The most magical thing we have is fluorescent lights”

  • They don't put you in Hufflepuff if you're not cool. — 00:00:51

    “Instead they sort you in the parking lot after school”

  • The narrator would do almost anything to go to wizard school. — 00:01:56

    “I'd even call Dolores Umbridge my friend If it meant I never had to go to gym again”

  • No ghosts in the halls or bathroom stalls at his school. — 00:02:23

    “And the stairs don't move, cause there's no stairs at all”

Threads in this video

Where the stories that moved here went next

Mentioned

Central: Harry Potter (book series) · This Isn't Hogwarts

Also: People: Katherine Green

Projects: Truth or Fail

Works: Accio Deathly Hallows · Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (film)

Groups: Five Awesome Girls · The Moaning Myrtles · The Parselmouths

Concepts: education · Wizard rock

Characters: Dolores Umbridge · Hogwarts · Hufflepuff · Mirror of Erised

Only in the description or credits: Kristina Horner · Lauren Fairweather · So Jokes

Replies to

← Previous: Sell Outs! · Next → Selling Out, Chewbacca and Taking Leave