Skip to content

Your Yard Is EVIL

2011-07-22 · letter vlog · John · 3:34 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Science & nature (also: Economics) · mode: Personal essay · tags: community lore, on location

On a sweltering walk, John argues the American front lawn, which uses vast amounts of drinking water and pesticide and feeds no one, is the best example of status quo bias producing insanity, and that this bias even lets lawns keep growing.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Heat walk; turf grass as the most common irrigated US crop, three times corn, watered with potable water

  • ★★ John says turf grass is the most common irrigated crop in the United States. — 00:00:05 · United States
  • ★★ John says there is three times more irrigated turf grass in the US than corn. — 00:00:21 · United States
  • ★★ John says almost all water used to irrigate turf grass is potable, and about 30% of the overall US drinking water supply goes to grass. — 00:00:25

00:00:33 — Front lawns as the best example of status quo bias: unused, 4 billion gallons of drinking water a day, 70 million pounds of pesticides; John complies too

  • ★★★ John argues the American front lawn is the best possible example of how status quo bias can lead to complete insanity. — 00:00:33 · United States
  • ★★ John says front lawns are obviously a terrible idea because no one is using them. — 00:00:39
  • ★★ John says lawns suck up 4 billion gallons of drinking water every day. — 00:00:54
  • ★★ John says 70 million pounds of pesticides are used each year to maintain lawn grass, an unnatural monoculture that does not feed us. — 00:01:00
  • ★★ John admits he too tends his grass so his neighbors don't get mad at him. — 00:01:20

00:01:25 — Lawns' modest advantages vs mixed plants and vegetable gardens; the lawn as a British invention

  • ★★ John grants lawns turn carbon dioxide into oxygen (though hardly the most efficient carbon sink) and limit erosion, but says mixed plants, and better still vegetable gardens, would be better. — 00:01:25
  • ★★ John playfully blames the British: the lawn is a British invention that makes more sense in rainy Britain, where it need not be watered with drinking water. (playful) — 00:01:38 · United Kingdom

00:02:00 — Status quo bias and the penny

  • ★★ John says status quo bias is the only reason the US still has pennies: a new coin worth a thousandth of a dollar would seem insane, yet a hundredth is equally insane. — 00:02:00 · United States

00:02:18 — Thought experiment: a world of front-yard vegetable gardens where the first lawn looks crazy

  • ★★★ John imagines suburbs with vegetable gardens in every front yard (cheaper food, more vegetables, less fuel), where the first person to lay turf grass would rightly be thought crazy. (hypothetical) — 00:02:18

00:03:00 — Status quo bias doesn't preserve the status quo: lawns keep growing; John's own Indianapolis yard and mowing in the heat; sign-off

  • ★★★ John says the weirdest thing about status quo bias is that it doesn't actually preserve the status quo. — 00:03:00
  • ★★ John says American lawns have grown bigger over the last forty years, driven by an advertising-fuelled idea that lawns should be massive. — 00:03:00 · United States
  • ★★ John recalls wanting a huge yard and a riding mower when they moved to Indianapolis despite Sarah's warning; now, with a 114-degree heat index, he has to mow. (playful) — 00:03:16 · Sarah Urist Green, Indianapolis

In the description and comments

  • ★★ John's sources for his lawn figures: Wikipedia for turf grass being the biggest irrigated US crop by a factor of three, and EPA estimates that a third of residential water (four billion gallons of potable water a day) goes to watering lawns and that 70 million pounds of pesticides are used on lawns each year. — video description · Wikipedia

Humor (significant)

  • Too hot to finish his turf-grass fact, John measures the heat. — 00:00:09

    “hotter than Kim Jong Il... would be if he died and went to hell.”

  • John blames the British for the lawn. — 00:01:44

    “we threw off their colonial yoke and said no to taxation without representation, but they got us on the lawns!”

  • In the vegetable-garden world, neighbors ask how to cook your new turf grass. — 00:02:43

    “"no, you don't eat it."”

  • John recalls insisting to Sarah he would love mowing a huge Indianapolis lawn. — 00:03:24

    “so long story short, the heat index is 114 degrees, and I have to go mow the lawn.”

Threads in this video

Mentioned

Central: lawn · status quo bias

Also: Abolish the US penny · Indianapolis · James Murdoch · Kim Jong Il · Sarah Urist Green · United Kingdom · United States

Only in the description or credits: United States Environmental Protection Agency · Wikipedia

Also centred on lawn: June 21: Gotta Get Outside!

Also centred on status quo bias: The 51st State

← Previous: HARDCASTLED! · Next → I Am Not a P#$$Y - this video contains mild swear words.