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I Am Not a P#$$Y - this video contains mild swear words.

2011-07-25 · letter vlog · Hank · 4:00 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Everyday life · mode: Personal essay · tags: heavy topic

Hank answers a truck driver who called him a pussy while he cycled: taunting from inside a truck is cowardice, not bravery. He then admits he had no good answer to a LeakyCon question about bullying and offers two tips: it's not about you, and your job is to survive it.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Addressing the driver who called Hank a pussy; riding a bike in traffic as an act of trust and bravery

  • ★★★ Hank addresses his video to the guy who, last week (July 2011), called him a pussy while Hank rode his bike down a fairly busy street. — 00:00:00
  • ★★ Hank says cyclists on roads are very vulnerable: riding with traffic, they cannot see cars behind them and must trust drivers not to hurt them. — 00:00:00
  • ★★★ Hank says riding a bike in traffic is both an act of trust and an act of bravery; he will not stop riding on beautiful days for fear of a distracted driver. — 00:00:29
  • ★ Hank warns that a driver distracted by a pressing text message could kill a cyclist, adding that the jab is aimed at everyone, not just the man who taunted him. (playful) — 00:00:29

00:00:58 — Rant at the truck driver: the word's gendered assumptions, who is really the coward, bravery versus safety, pity

  • ★★★ Hank rejects the driver's use of 'pussy', saying it implies untrue assumptions about gender, weakness and cowardice. — 00:00:58
  • ★★ Hank says the driver's truck weighs about 3,000 pounds and has a top speed around eight times that of his bicycle. — 00:00:58
  • ★ Hank mocks that the driver sits amid the most advanced safety equipment humanity has created while the best safety equipment on his bike is a 'frickin' foam hat'. (joke) — 00:01:27
  • ★★★ Hank argues that taunting a cyclist from inside what is in effect a bulletproof mech warrior is cowardice: the driver thinks he is brave, but he is only safe. — 00:01:56

  • ★★★ Hank defines bravery as the opposite of strength in the face of a far lesser foe. — 00:01:56

    “Bravery is not strength in the face of a far lesser foe.”

  • ★★ Hank says the driver's need to dominate him shows severe cowardice, and that he pities him. — 00:01:56

00:02:26 — Tumblr origin of the rant; Hank's self-doubt after the taunt; a LeakyCon question about bullying he could not answer

  • ★ Hank says he originally wrote this rant on his Tumblr (linked below) and loves Tumblr. — 00:02:26 · Tumblr
  • ★★★ Hank admits that for a long time afterwards one comment from a stranger made him ask what was wrong with him, though the problem was the driver's. — 00:02:48
  • ★★ Hank says that at LeakyCon a young woman asked him how he dealt with bullying, and it troubles him that he could not give her a good answer. — 00:02:48

00:03:18 — How Hank survived being bullied; two tips: it's not about you, and your job is to survive it; sign-off

  • ★★★ Hank says the shouts of 'it gets better', 'stay strong' and 'we love you' would not have helped him while he was bullied; it does get better, but the moment is hard to see past. — 00:03:18
  • ★★★ Hank says that when he was bullied he dealt with it by crying and hating himself and his life: he survived it but never dealt with it. — 00:03:18
  • ★★★ Hank's first tip to bullied people: it's not about you and has nothing to do with you; it's about the people doing it to you. — 00:03:18
  • ★★★ Hank's second tip: your job is not to deal with bullying but to survive it, which you can do because it will end, and then it will get better. — 00:03:50

In the description and comments

  • ★★★ Hank (description) says bullies bully because they are weak, and that the true bike-taunting story is also a metaphor for bullying. — video description
  • ★★★ Hank says the bullied person also feels tremendously weak and inferior, but bullying comes not from strength but from weakness and fear, and the more bullies bully, the weaker they become. — video description
  • ★★ Hank says this is why he is unsurprised that many of his physically weakest friends are in fact the bravest. — video description

Humor (significant)

  • After imagining a texting driver killing him, Hank clarifies whom that remark was aimed at. — 00:00:29

    “That was not directed at the guy who called me a pussy. That was directed at EVERYONE.”

  • Hank decides the driver won't understand grown-up words. — 00:00:58

    “let's stick with your vernacular. I am very not the pussy in this situation, sir.”

  • Hank compares the truck's steel and safety equipment with his bicycle's protection. — 00:01:27

    “the most advanced safety equipment I've got is a frickin' foam hat.”

  • Hank asks whether taunting a cyclist from inside a truck is not cowardice. — 00:01:56

    “in what is in effect freaking bulletproof mech warrior”

Threads in this video

Where the stories that moved here went next

Mentioned

Central: bullying · courage

Also: gender role · It Gets Better Project · LeakyCon · pussy · Tumblr

Also centred on bullying: On Middle School Misery

Also centred on courage: How Do You Create When You Don't Feel Safe

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