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Honey Badgers: The Crazy Truth

2011-11-30 · explainer · John · 2:56 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Science & nature · mode: Curiosity & trivia · tags: community lore

John, who spent Thanksgiving researching honey badgers, argues the famous viral narration undersells them and runs through their reported habits: attacking the testicles of prey, raiding hives with stink, venom resistance, cheetah-cub imitators and nearly unkillable skin.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Greeting from the in-laws'; John, like the internet, is fascinated by honey badgers; the famous narrated video fails to capture them

  • ★★★ Like most of the internet, John is fascinated by honey badgers, but says Randall's famous narration does nothing to capture their glory. — 00:00:01
  • ★★ John says honey badgers are two to three feet long, weigh 30 pounds, eat anything and live solitary, non-monogamous lives. — 00:00:04

00:00:19 — Honey badgers reportedly attack larger prey, and humans, by going straight for the testicles

  • ★★ John says there are many reports, though hotly debated among naturalists, of honey badgers attacking larger prey like wildebeest, zebras or water buffalo by biting off the testicles first. (hedged) — 00:00:20
  • ★★ John says there are reports that honey badgers attacking humans, which happens occasionally, also go straight for the testicles. — 00:00:37

00:00:45 — Raiding beehives with anal-gland scent ('fart attack') and resistance to bee venom

  • ★★ Many biologists believe honey badgers raid beehives by releasing scent from their anal glands so foul that the bees flee. — 00:00:45
  • ★★ Bees that stay and sting don't bother honey badgers much, John says, because they are more immune to bee venom than almost any other mammal. — 00:01:06

00:01:16 — Cheetah cubs' coat as a possible imitation of honey badgers; Rasputin joke

  • ★★ Many wildlife biologists speculate that cheetah cubs look like honey badgers as an evolutionary adaptation, since predators avoid attacking honey badgers. (hedged) — 00:01:23

00:01:45 — Why they are hard to kill: loose, thick skin that lets them turn and bite back

  • ★★ Honey badgers are hard to kill because their loose skin lets them twist round and bite back, and their thick skin resists machetes and arrows. — 00:01:45

00:02:15 — Humans as their main predator; bullet-resistant skin; digging up graves

  • ★★ John says humans are honey badgers' number one predator; their skin can stop some bullets, but a high-powered rifle kills them. — 00:02:15
  • ★★ John says honey badgers often dig up human graves and eat the bodies. — 00:02:25

00:02:33 — Thanksgiving recap: John's FIFA Swindon Town reach the FA Cup final against Chelsea again; sign-off

  • ★ John, filming at his in-laws' house, says he spent his Thanksgiving vacation researching honey badgers and watching tape of himself playing FIFA. — 00:02:33
  • ★★ In John's FIFA game, the Swindon Town Swoodilypoopers return to the FA Cup final against Chelsea, and he vows to avenge last year's (2010) final loss. (playful) — 00:02:40

Humor (significant)

  • After explaining that honey badgers drive bees off with foul anal-gland scent, John spells out the weapon. — 00:00:58

    “They use a fart attack!”

  • Explaining why no predator wants to attack a honey badger, John reaches for a comparison, then defends its obscurity. — 00:01:33

    “because honey badgers are harder to kill than 19th century Russian monks!”

  • John imagines a predator biting the super-skinned badger while it twists round and bites its face. — 00:02:11

    “"Agh! I shoulda gotten a gazelle!"”

Threads in this video

Where the stories that moved here went next

Mentioned

Central: honey badger

Also: People: Ashley Olsen · Grigori Rasputin · Mary-Kate Olsen

Works: FIFA (video game series) · The Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger

Organizations: Chelsea FC

Terms: doobly-doo

Concepts: cheetah · mimicry

Events: FA Cup · Thanksgiving

Characters: Swindon Town Swoodilypoopers

Only in the description or credits: The Miracle of Swindon Town

Also centred on honey badger: Actually Free Money! (Really.) The Bank of Nerdfighteria's Quarterly Report

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