The Five Worst Places to Vomit

2012-09-04 · list · John · 3:29 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Everyday life (also: Science & nature) · mode: Comedy & performance

Answering a Nerdfighter who called a urinal the worst place to puke, John lists five worse places (your lungs, a secret floor vent, space, a bathroom mirror and another person) mixing his own mishaps with history, and ends that children all vomit on parents who keep them anyway.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Greeting; Fahrenheit 451 and the capital gains rationale postponed; a Nerdfighter's comment that a urinal is the worst place to puke; five worse places

• ★★ John meant to make a video about Fahrenheit 451, then, after Hank's Friday video, about the controversial rationale for taxing capital gains below income; both must wait. — 00:00:01
• ★★★ After his Steak 'n Shake video, a Nerdfighter called vomit in a urinal the worst place to puke ever; John submits there are at least five worse places. (playful) — 00:00:16 · Nerdfighteria

00:00:29 — 1: your own lungs (aspiration, Jimi Hendrix); 2: a secret hiding place: John's high-school party vomit in a floor vent

• ★★ The worst place to vomit is your own lungs, because it can be fatal: aspiration of vomit killed Jimi Hendrix and many others. — 00:00:29
• ★★ At a high-school party, not at full intellectual capacity, John secretly puked into a floor air-conditioning vent; the smell spread through the house, and the puker, he says, is held financially responsible. (playful) — 00:00:43
• ★ Puke in ductwork circulates its smell through the whole home, is very hard to clean, and sometimes ducts must be replaced at a cost of hundreds of dollars. (playful) — 00:01:08

00:01:25 — 3: space: Gherman Titov's space sickness, Soviet pause, NASA spacesuit air currents

• ★★ Vomiting in space is a big problem because the inner ear can't handle floatiness; after Gherman Titov, second person in space, first vomited there, the Soviets paused their programme for a year. — 00:01:27
• ★★ Many astronauts have puked; vomiting in a spacesuit can be fatal through aspiration, so NASA added air currents around the suit's face to push vomit away. (hedged) — 00:01:41

00:02:11 — 4: a bathroom mirror: cleaning puke off infinite reflections as a busboy; puke in the toilet

• ★★ Busing tables, John once had to clean puke off a restaurant bathroom mirror: a side mirror made infinite reflections, and your own reflected face pockmarked with puke makes you puke. (playful) — 00:02:11

00:02:46 — 5: onto another person: Hank puked on their parents; Henry puked into John's mouth; you vomited on your parents and they kept you

• ★★★ Aside from your lungs, the worst place to puke is onto another person; children always puke on their parents, so Hank should call their parents and thank them. (playful) — 00:02:46 · Hank Green, Mike Green, Sydney Green
• ★★ John's son Henry once puked into John's half-open mouth while John held him up. (playful) — 00:03:04 · Henry Green
• ★★★ John advises Nerdfighters furious with their parents to remember that they vomited on them and their parents kept them anyway. (playful) — 00:03:11 · Nerdfighteria

00:03:18 — Wrap-up: 'only profound videos now?'; sign-off

• ★ To Nerdfighters wondering whether the brothers will only make profound videos now, John offers this video. (playful) — 00:03:20 · Nerdfighteria, Vlogbrothers

Humor (dominant)

• After puking into a party host's floor vent, John asks who paid to replace the ducts. — 00:01:19

  “The puker. In my experience, the puker is held responsible.”

• Spacesuit wearers must stay with their own puke, which makes them keep puking. — 00:02:04

  “it would be like half John half vomit.”

• John holds baby Henry up and starts cooing at him. — 00:03:07

  “OH MY GOD! What just happened to me?!”

• Advice for when you think your parents are terrible. — 00:03:13

  “you vomited on them and they kept you.”

Threads in this video

• retold · John's Steak 'n Shake graveyard shift versus his lower-paid Booklist job after college (2008) — John recalls telling in a recent video how at Steak 'n Shake he sometimes had to clean vomit out of urinals. (00:00:16) → refers to Is College Worth It?
• told · John secretly vomits into a floor air vent at a high-school party and is held responsible for the ductwork — John tells how, at a high-school party and not at full capacity, he secretly puked into a floor air vent; the smell spread through the house and he was held financially responsible for the ducts. (00:00:43)

Mentioned

People: Gherman Titov · Henry Green · Jimi Hendrix · Mike Green · Sydney Green

Works: Fahrenheit 451

Organizations: NASA · Steak 'n Shake

Concepts: capital gains tax · pulmonary aspiration · space adaptation syndrome · vomiting

Places: Missoula, Montana · Soviet Union

Replies to

• refers to · Is College Worth It? — “In a recent video, I talked about when I worked at Steak and Shake”
• refers to · Why The Rich Pay Lower Taxes — “after your video on Friday”

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