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The Gray Speckled Walls Encroach: The Perks and Liabilities of Frequent Flying

2013-03-05 · letter vlog · John · 3:44 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Personal life (also: Everyday life) · mode: Personal essay · tags: on location, fundraising ask

Filming in an airport, John weighs the perks of having flown 400,000 miles against the time it takes from family, and announces he will stop flying until VidCon because, he thinks, a big part of being a parent is being around.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — In an airport ('gray speckled walls'); 400,000 miles flown since Brotherhood 2.0; banter with the security announcements; frequent-flyer perks (TSA pre-clearance, boarding first, lounge)

  • ★★ John says that since Brotherhood 2.0 started in 2007 he has flown more than 400,000 miles, which has earned him a lot of perks. — 00:00:23 · Brotherhood 2.0
  • ★ His perks: TSA pre-clearance so he keeps his shoes on, boarding first with a gold medallion status, and lounge access he skips because it is depressing. — 00:00:35

00:00:46 — 'Most important perk': being among the first victims of a humanity-ending plague; zombie apocalypse plan

00:01:10 — Who sits in first class: mostly loyal frequent flyers the airlines thank or bribe; infrequent flyers in the back 'have it figured out'

  • ★★ John says some first-class passengers are rich people who paid a lot, but most sit there because they fly one airline all the time and it wants to thank, or essentially bribe, them. — 00:01:10
  • ★★ He tells infrequent flyers walking to a middle seat in the back that they, not the first-class 'fancy people', have it figured out. (playful) — 00:01:26

00:01:41 — Disadvantages: 500 days in airports in six years; the seatmate to Dayton whose elite status cost him a marriage; first-world problems

  • ★★ John says he has spent more than 500 days in airports in the last six years. — 00:01:41
  • ★★ On a flight to Dayton, Ohio, John sat next to a man with super-elite status who said it had cost him a marriage. (playful) — 00:01:48
  • ★ John concedes that complaining about frequent flying is the first-worldliest of first-world problems. — 00:02:10

00:02:19 — Time away from family; last trip until VidCon in August; plans for videos, the new book and family; comments on the cooking-with-Henry video; being a parent is being around

  • ★★★ The real cost of constant travel, John says, is spending a lot of time away from your family, which sucks. — 00:02:19
  • ★★★ John says this is his last trip until August, when he goes to VidCon, and he is excited to become an infrequent flyer. — 00:02:27 · VidCon
  • ★★ While not flying he will make lots of videos and work on his new book, but most importantly hang out with his family. — 00:02:37
  • ★ John hopes his family time includes Hank and Katherine, but says they will have to come to him because he is not flying. (hedged) — 00:02:42 · Katherine Green
  • ★★ Answering comments on last week's (week of 25 February 2013) cooking-with-Henry video that called him a great dad, John says that if he is a good dad it is not because he jokes on camera. — 00:02:46 · Henry Green
  • ★★★ John thinks a big part of being a parent is being around, so he is going to try that for a while. (hedged) — 00:03:17

00:03:22 — John discovers he has been half-naked the whole video; sign-off

In the description and comments

  • ★★ In the description John says he made the video before vlogbrothers hit 1,000,000 subscribers, thanks viewers for the community, and says he feels lucky to be a nerdfighter. — video description · Vlogbrothers, Nerdfighteria
  • ★★ To celebrate a million subscribers, John asks viewers to get the Nerdfighter Kiva group to $2,000,000 in loans. — video description · Bank of Nerdfighteria

Humor (significant)

  • After listing his frequent-flyer perks, John names 'by far the most important perk': when the humanity-devastating plague comes... — 00:00:46

    “I will be among it's first victims.”

  • John has always said he wants to be right out in front of any human-ending apocalypse. — 00:01:01

    “Like my zombie apocalypse plan? Become a zombie as quickly as possible.”

  • John admires a seatmate's diamond-platinum-elite-silver-plus status; the man agrees it is amazing but asks what it cost him. — 00:02:06

    “you know what it cost me? A marriage.”

  • Mid-sign-off John notices something about himself and realises people in the airport have been watching him all along. — 00:03:34

    “I've been half naked the entire time!”

Threads in this video

Where the stories that moved here went next

Mentioned

People: Henry Green · Katherine Green

Projects: Brotherhood 2.0 · VidCon

Works: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Organizations: Transportation Security Administration

Concepts: frequent-flyer program

Places: Dayton, Ohio · Indianapolis International Airport

Myths: zombie

Only in the description or credits: Bank of Nerdfighteria · Kiva · world suck

Replies to

Later videos replying to this one

Part of an exchange of 4 videos, 2013-02-26 – 2013-03-20.