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The Cold War of Nerdfighteria

2015-08-18 · letter vlog · John · 3:45 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Nerdfighteria (also: Books & writing) · mode: Comedy & performance · tags: community lore, recurring series, civic or action cta

John objects to the 2015 Nerdfighteria Census asking who has better hair, Hank or John, and runs a mock campaign for his unchanging 'Puff', while urging everyone to fill out the Census.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Greeting; inspired by Nerdfighters' book towers, John heads to his library to build one

  • ★★ John says so many Nerdfighters made amazing book towers that he tries one himself in his library; it collapses. (playful) — 00:00:01 · Nerdfighteria

00:00:10 — Voiceover recommendations: Between the World and Me, The Bail Trap, a NYT article on a 14-year-old in solitary, a puppy GIF

  • ★★ John recommends Ta-Nehisi Coates's book Between the World and Me, which he cannot stop thinking about. — 00:00:14
  • ★★ John recommends The Bail Trap, a New York Times article exploring one reason people in poverty are disproportionately imprisoned in the US. — 00:00:19 · The New York Times, United States
  • ★★ John recommends another New York Times article, about a 14-year-old boy locked in solitary confinement, which he found chilling and deeply upsetting. — 00:00:26 · The New York Times
  • ★ Since those are tough reads, John also recommends a GIF of a puppy jumping for the first time. — 00:00:34

00:00:39 — John's book tower collapses: no house of cards in 2007, no house of books in 2015

00:00:49 — John took the Census: Twitter and watching-videos-at-work questions; Akilah Hughes and FIFA as his job; the John Green Stand at AFC Wimbledon

  • ★★ John says he took the Nerdfighter Census yesterday and it was a great survey, but jokes that some questions weren't inclusive of him, such as whether he follows John on Twitter. (playful) — 00:00:49 · Twitter
  • ★ John says watching Akilah Hughes get drunk and review books is technically his job, along with semi-professional FIFA playing. (playful) — 00:01:12
  • ★★ John shows off the John Green Stand at AFC Wimbledon's stadium. — 00:01:19 · AFC Wimbledon

00:01:26 — Question 25, 'Who has better hair?': how the Census is used; hair arms race; never a sibling rivalry; the case for the Puff; a 'positive' campaign of insults; vote for John's hair

  • ★★★ John objects to Census question 25, 'Who has better hair, Hank or John?', which pits his unwavering puff against Hank's fancy new hairstyle. (playful) — 00:01:26 · the Puff
  • ★★★ John says the brothers use the Census every year to choose Crash Course topics and Vlogbrothers videos and to understand Nerdfighteria's interests, and thanks everyone who fills it out. — 00:01:37 · Crash Course, Vlogbrothers, Nerdfighteria
  • ★★ John says he doesn't want his hair put to a popular vote; the question made him get a haircut, and he fears a hair arms race like the US-Soviet one of the 1980s, until one brother goes bankrupt. (joke) — 00:01:47 · United States
  • ★ John explains that 'pileous' means of or relating to hair, saying the hair anxiety is bringing out his vocabulary. (playful) — 00:02:11 · pileous

  • ★★★ John says one of the weirdest and most beautiful things about Nerdfighteria is that in eight years it has never let the brothers have a proper sibling rivalry: always Team Hank and John. — 00:02:18 · Nerdfighteria

    “It's never been about Team Hank or Team John, it's always been about Team Hank And John.”

  • ★★ Because Hank put the question in the survey, John says Hank wants a contest and is going to get one. (playful) — 00:02:32

  • ★★ John's case for his hair: the Puff is honest and fundamentally unchanged over eight years, growing and shrinking with his anxiety, hair without product, artifice or gimmicks. (playful) — 00:02:39 · the Puff
  • ★★ John says he won't run a negative campaign, then jabs at Hank's hair: a haircut Tyler Oakley discarded in 2011, a young Republican's haircut, a de-mustachioed Leon Trotsky's face. (joke) — 00:02:57 · Republican Party
  • ★★ John asks friends to fill out the 2015 Nerdfighter Census and consider the Puff: a vote for John's hair is a vote for stability, brotherhood and unity. (playful) — 00:03:14 · the Puff

00:03:24 — If you have a job, fill out the Census (85% unemployment or selection bias?); sign-off

  • ★★ John asks people who have jobs to fill out the Census too, joking that an 85 percent unemployment rate would put Nerdfighteria at the very bottom of all countries. (playful) — 00:03:24
  • ★★ John says early Census responses imply an 85 percent unemployment rate in Nerdfighteria, and he can't tell whether that is selection bias. (playful, hedged) — 00:03:24 · Nerdfighteria

Humor (significant)

  • John's own attempt at a book tower collapses. — 00:00:40

    “couldn't build a house of cards in 2007 and can't build a house of books in 2015, some things never change.”

  • John fears the Census hair question will start a brotherly escalation in pursuit of Nerdfighteria's 'pileous support'. — 00:01:53

    “we'll have an ever escalating arms race, like the US and the Soviets did in the 1980s, only with hair instead of nuclear weapons.”

  • John vows not to go negative on Hank's hair. — 00:02:59

    “Hank, what's it like having a haircut that Tyler Oakley discarded in 2011?”

  • Promising never to run a negative campaign, John lists what he would never say about Hank's hair. — 00:03:04

    “Hank has the haircut of a young Republican and the face of a de-mustachioed Leon Trotsky.”

Threads in this video

Where the stories that moved here went next

Mentioned

Central: Nerdfighteria Census

Also: People: Akilah Hughes · Leon Trotsky · Tyler Oakley

Projects: Crash Course

Works: Between the World and Me · FIFA (video game series) · New York Times article about a 14-year-old boy in solitary confinement · The Bail Trap

Organizations: AFC Wimbledon · Republican Party · Twitter

Terms: pileous · the Puff

Concepts: mass incarceration · nuclear weapon · selection bias · Unemployment

Places: John Green Stand · Soviet Union · United States

Events: Cold War

Only in the description or credits: Ta-Nehisi Coates · The New York Times

Also centred on Nerdfighteria Census: New Channels, New Songs, and Just Plain News · My Freakish Talent · Nerdfighteria Census 2014 Results! · Corndog Ghost Attack, Book Towers, and Census · Sleep Paralysis, Double-Pregnancy, and The 2016 Census · The Bizarro History of Black Friday: (AND 2017 CENSUS!)

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