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Doing the Hard(er) Thing (and some very bad news)

2016-02-12 · letter vlog · Hank · 3:52 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Everyday life (also: Personal life) · mode: Personal essay

Hank reflects on how hard it is to do what will make him happier even 20 minutes later (getting up for early walks, not being vegetarian though he should be), and concludes one should practise doing the hard thing without hating oneself for failing.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Early-morning walks with Katherine; there is always a song in Hank's head

  • ★★ For the last couple of weeks Hank and Katherine have got up very early every morning to walk, which he finds wonderful: they talk about the day and he thinks or sings. — 00:00:00 · Katherine Green
  • ★ Hank says there is always a different song in his head and wonders why his brain is set up that way. (playful) — 00:00:23

00:00:44 — Getting out of a warm bed: a pampered life, and choosing what makes him happier 20 minutes later

  • ★★ The walks have noticeably improved Hank's life (less stress, great sunrises), yet every frigid pre-dawn Montana morning he wants nothing more than to get back into bed. — 00:00:44 · Montana
  • ★★ Hank says he lives a pampered life, and for about eight years has had a job that lets him get up whenever he wants, so he has mostly slept in. (playful) — 00:01:04
  • ★★★ Though staying in bed doesn't make him happier, Hank finds it remarkably hard to choose what will make him happier just 20 minutes later, because his present self doesn't care about his future self. — 00:01:29

00:01:58 — Vegetarianism messages and Dumbledore; you can only do so many hard things; admiration for parents

  • ★★ Hank says he has been thinking about this since his vegetarianism video: he is not a vegetarian although he should be and knows it. — 00:01:58
  • ★★ Admitting he has no scientific evidence, Hank feels people can only do so many things they don't want to do before giving in (eating a whole ice cream cake). (playful, hedged) — 00:02:18
  • ★ Hank is amazed by people, particularly parents, who can do hard things all day long. — 00:02:28
  • ★★ Hank says doing the hard thing is harder for some people than others, and harder at some times than others. — 00:02:40

00:02:48 — Sad times despite a new Harry Potter book and gravitational waves; reason left to the description

  • ★★ Hank has been having sad times lately, despite a coming new Harry Potter book and the confirmation of gravitational waves; it is too sad to discuss, so the reason goes in the description. — 00:02:48 · Harry Potter (book series)

00:03:03 — Do what helps you do the hard thing, don't hate yourself when you fail; sign-off

  • ★★★ Hank says he should do what helps him do the hard thing more, such as showing himself each morning that he is happier for doing what he didn't want to. — 00:03:03
  • ★★ Hank says working on consciously having a positive effect on himself and on the people and world around him is really important, and he always wants to drive toward that. — 00:03:11
  • ★★ Hank says he does not want to hate himself when he messes up. — 00:03:22
  • ★★★ Hank's only tip: just do the hard thing without letting the rationalizing conscious mind weigh in, and if you can't, don't be too hard on yourself. — 00:03:24

In the description and comments

  • ★★ In the description Hank asks how, if he can't make himself get up an hour earlier, he can do all the things said to be needed to live more morally. — video description
  • ★★ Hank corrects his video: there is no "ice cream cake breaking point"; maybe there is no limit to the difficult things we can do, only to those we can choose to do, which is why taking choice out of the matter helps him do hard things. (hedged) — video description
  • ★★★ The bad news behind Hank's sad times: his dog Lemon has bone cancer that has worsened fast, and she is now in a lot of pain, which is very hard for her and the family. — video description
  • ★★ Hank highly recommends adopting a greyhound, since they make wonderful companions and always need homes, and invites donations to local greyhound adoption centers in Lemon's memory. — video description

Threads in this video

Where the stories that moved here went next

Mentioned

Central: self-control

Also: People: Bonnie Raitt · Katherine Green · Pink

Works: Harry Potter (book series) · Something to Talk About · The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Groups: Matchbox Twenty

Concepts: ego depletion · gravitational wave · hyperbolic discounting · Vegetarianism

Places: Montana

Characters: Albus Dumbledore · Lamb Chop

Only in the description or credits: greyhound adoption · Lemon

Also centred on self-control: The Productivity Lie

Replies to

Later videos replying to this one

Part of an exchange of 3 videos, 2016-01-22 – 2016-02-16.