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Easier Than IKEA: A Video in Two Parts

2016-05-24 · letter vlog · John · 3:44 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Everyday life (also: Sports, Personal life) · mode: Personal essay · tags: timely hook, civic or action cta, community lore, self promotion

In two parts, John shares an excerpt of his Kenyon College commencement address, which mocks dreaded adulthood and ends up celebrating unironic conversations about the weather, then his greatest sports month: an Indy pace-car drive, the Indy 500 and AFC Wimbledon's play-off final at Wembley, which he asks London Nerdfighters to attend.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Greeting; a video in only two parts, unlike IKEA furniture

00:00:05 — Part one: John and Sarah drive to Gambier, Ohio, where he gives the commencement address at Kenyon College

  • ★★ John says that over the weekend (21–22 May 2016) he and Sarah drove to Gambier, Ohio, where he delivered the commencement address at his alma mater, Kenyon College. — 00:00:07 · Sarah Urist Green

00:00:14 — Speech excerpt: students saw adulthood as a disease; the grandmother and weather story; adulthood as a river rock; 'it is so bad'; the speech celebrates unironic weather talk; links

  • ★★ In the speech John recalls that his Kenyon peers agreed the 'real world' of adulthood was a disease you caught and died from, to be dreaded and resisted until it overtook you like a zombie plague. (playful) — 00:00:14
  • ★★ John says that to be an adult, as students saw it, meant talking about brand awareness and engaging in totally unironic conversations about the weather. (playful) — 00:00:43
  • ★★ John recalls that at Kenyon his grandmother called to say the Weather Channel showed rain in Ohio; he told her he was reading Ulysses, was not even in Gambier but in Dublin in 1904, and nothing mattered less than the weather. (playful) — 00:01:03
  • ★★ John says adulthood seemed like being a river rock blasted by a torrent of mundane terrors, from resume formatting to electricity bills, smoothing his hard edges until he was like everything else. — 00:01:39
  • ★★★ John says the speech is, in the end, mostly a celebration of unironic conversations about the weather. — 00:02:10

00:02:17 — Part two: greatest sports month; driving the pace car at the Indianapolis Grand Prix; the Indianapolis 500 six days away

  • ★★ John says he is in the greatest sports month of his life: a couple of weeks ago (14 May 2016) he drove the pace car at the Indianapolis Grand Prix, tailgated by professional drivers. (playful) — 00:02:19
  • ★ John says the Indianapolis 500, the annual highlight of his social calendar, is six days away. (playful) — 00:02:30

00:02:35 — AFC Wimbledon, sponsored by Nerdfighteria, in the play-off final against Plymouth Argyle at Wembley on May 30; an unlikely run; the podcast; John flies from the Indy 500 to London

  • ★★★ John says AFC Wimbledon, the fourth-tier English team Nerdfighteria sponsors, has reached the play-off final, one victory from becoming a third-tier team. — 00:02:35 · AFC Wimbledon, Nerdfighteria
  • ★★ John says that on May 30 AFC Wimbledon, wearing DFTBA on their shorts, will play a one-game playoff against Plymouth Argyle at Wembley, a 90,000-seat stadium. — 00:02:46 · AFC Wimbledon, DFTBA
  • ★★ John says Wimbledon have the smallest stadium in their league and among the smallest budgets, and would be the only fan-owned English team as high as the third tier. — 00:02:59 · AFC Wimbledon
  • ★★ John says it is hard to describe how unlikely this is, that it is a massive moment for the club, and that he is immensely excited. — 00:02:59 · AFC Wimbledon
  • ★ John notes that the brothers' podcast brings the week's news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon. — 00:03:12 · Dear Hank and John, Mars, AFC Wimbledon
  • ★★ John says he is leaving directly from the Indianapolis 500 to go to the game in London. — 00:03:20 · London

00:03:24 — Ask: London-area Nerdfighters come to Wembley; email John for ticket help

  • ★★★ John asks Nerdfighters in or near London to come to Wembley on May 30 to cheer on the Dons, and tells those who can't afford a ticket to email him so he can try to work something out. (hedged) — 00:03:24 · Nerdfighteria, AFC Wimbledon, London

00:03:34 — Sports are silly, but 'of all the unimportant things, football is the most important'; sign-off

In the description and comments

Humor (significant)

  • John announces that today's video is like nothing you ever bought at IKEA. — 00:00:03

    “It comes to you in only two parts.”

  • John describes what students imagined happens once you catch adulthood. — 00:00:43

    “you would start saying things like "brand awareness in a fractured media landscape."”

  • John recalls lecturing his grandmother that he was in Ulysses' 1904 Dublin and that nothing mattered less than the weather; after a moment she asks: — 00:01:33

    “"Well, is it raining, or isn't it?"”

  • John reaches the point in a commencement address where the speaker reassures graduates that adulthood isn't so bad. — 00:01:57

    “but no, no, it is so bad!”

Threads in this video

Where the stories that moved here went next

Mentioned

Central: AFC Wimbledon · John's Kenyon College commencement address · Kenyon College

Also: People: Pope John Paul II · Sarah Urist Green

Projects: Dear Hank and John

Works: Ulysses

Organizations: IKEA · Plymouth Argyle F.C. · The Weather Channel

Terms: DFTBA

Places: Dublin · Gambier, Ohio · London · Mars · Wembley Stadium

Events: Grand Prix of Indianapolis · Indianapolis 500

Characters: Stephen Dedalus

Only in the description or credits: Mark Olsen · Rosianna Halse Rojas

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